News Coming to You From Orlando...But Written from New York!

Dish loves scheduled posts! This news came in Friday, but I wanted to keep the focus on my anniversary of engagement. So Pink and her husband welcomed a baby girl on Thursday named...um...Willow Sage. I'd expect nothing less. It's official that if TG and I are ever blessed with child, the name will be: Cool Ranch Dorito!

Speaking of rugrats, those fightin' Grammers are at it again with a custody battle. Good grief. The gall to run off with a stewardess, leaving the over-40 wife, then demand the children. Not even a meal at Le Cigale Volant could cure this heartburn.

RIP to Jack Kevorkian, whose work I kind of supported.

Saturday Tarot

Ace of Pentacles (Reversed): Crapbaskets! Something didn't go as planned. Oh well--have a cocktail!

Happy One Year Since TG Popped the Question!!!

I saw him put the box in his pocket before we went out for margaritas at MaryAnn's. Note to Dishreaders: I don't drink really (except scotch) so the jig was up early on. I was wearing a black shirt and khaki skirt (with spanx), uncomfortable shoes. It was a Thursday and very hot. I knew what was about to happen but felt very calm. The Moment I'd never expected.

Thanks, TG, for making life so wonderful!

Is It Friday Yet Tarot

Judgment: Dish loves this card. It's a coming to terms with what you've done and moving on to new opportunities, like a figurative loofa on your soul. If you've been a good girl, you get treats. If you've been bad, you--well--in this world of no repercussions, you might still get treats. But Karma will balance things.

What skin are you ready to shed? Well, if you look at this card closely, you see naked people, which is always a good way to start a new chapter.

Schindler's List Is Going to Give Me Nightmares!

Why did I agree to watch this un-happy-happy-happy movie? Well, I sort of like parts of it and it breaks my heart, really too much to bear and puts my little worries into perspective. Adore Ben Kingsley and Liam Neeson. And, Dishbrother, you have to admit, Ralph Fiennes acts his butt off. He is a little sweaty, though. Can see why you're repulsed, but here it works.

In happy, happy news, Jane lynch is hosting the Emmys and this is one night where TG will just have to deal with my girl crush. It will be three hours of ecstasy for Dish.

Three fast ones: John Edwards's mistress allegedly dumped him (the drama is over so why stay?), Mitt Romney running for Prez, which makes me sad since he seems earnest but too dull as a candidate to win (but I'm sure is nice), and more nude Blake Lively photos leaked.

The eternal excuse these days is: I've been hacked!!!

Thursday Tarot

8 of Pentacles (Reversed): Why you infuriating, nitpicky workaholic! Who do you think you are, Vicki from Real Housewives of Orange County? The icing doesn't have to be just so--Dish will still be the first to swipe it from the kitchen. No need to work 12 hours a day. Enjoy your waning years as this is all Buddha gave you. My advice for today: Take a big laxative to get the pole out. Dish says this with love.

Star Sighting--Marisa Tomei!!!

Dish's friend "Trish" was at the Eugene O'Neill theater at 1:53 pm, prostituting herself for tickets to The Book of Mormon when in walks Marisa Tomei with a bevy of girlfriends. Cue secret cellphone pics from onlookers. Trish wanted to get a photo, but TrishBF forbade her (always wise). The report: Marisa was giggly, having fun with her friends, dressed down in T-shirt and shorts, hair in ponytail. Love Marisa!

I don't know how many of you are following Weinergate but Dish has been watching him like a hawk since an article about his maybe helping Russian models into the country somehow. No memory of details and this Twitter dick photo looks false, but something still stinks in the Netherlands. Kind of always liked him as a politician.

Speaking of false pics, the nude Blake Lively photos were fake and even Dish found them a little suspect. Oh wait, no, I did not see them. Not at all. Very sad to have anyone taint this precious bombshell's budding love with Leonardo DiCaprio. He is King of the World, ya know.

Keep praying hard for Simon Le Bon's precious vocal chords. He expresses his bitterness (speaking softly) in his blog post: http://www.duranduran.com/wordpress/2011/a-blog-from-simon-12/. Be well, precious Simon John Charles, because if you ain't better enough for NYC this year, heads will roll!

Donald Trump and Sarah Palin. Yeah, two powerhouses meeting for a well-publicized meal. I wish I could be a fly on the wall just to hear the ridiculousness. I'm sure it was taped.

Former female wrestler Chyna has a new sex tape. How the mighty have fallen. And I thought The Surreal Life was the last hurrah. She does seem to have had some good face work done.

More insight into Dish: Here is my gorgeous, talented cousin (in white), Paul Mercurio, playing with Bob Schneider. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLmrJVEIF7E.

Kim Kardashian wants to change her last name when she marries? Go for it. There are many reasons to change the name. Heroine transformation is fun. Maybe you aren't attached to your maiden name, as Dish wasn't. Sometimes the new last name sounds more interesting. Frankly, I like Kim's maiden name better than her soon-to-be married name but I embrace her switch. Dish was delighted to shed her last name. It's like it never existed.

Some shame: Dish just watched Bradley Cooper give an interview in French...and he speaks better French than I do. MUST BRUSH UP IMMEDIATELY. No time to blog. Off to read Rousseau!!!

Wednesday's What Have I Done Tarot

5 of Pentacles: You just spent $5K on a very ugly handbag. Now, you're destitute and having lower back pain from carrying a heavy load. You're out on the street acting like a proud diva, pretending nothing's wrong. Suddenly, Lady Gaga appears. She's just been named #1 richest celebrity in Forbes, and she wants to give you a warm, soothing heating pad for your back, along with a new savings account. What do you do? You shriek at her like a bitter harpy.

You may feel like you're in dire straits or carrying the world on your shoulders, but the lesson of today is: If you see Lady Gaga on the road, let her take you to lunch.