Reese and Her Husband Arrested...

for Disorderly Conduct and DUI respectively? WTF? I thought they were perfect. Though between you and me, I can see her throwing a huge hissy with the cops: "Do you know who I am, Officer?" "You're going to wish you hadn't done this." "I'm going to have you freaking fired with one phone call." "We were profiled."

Dish Deep Thoughts.

I am on the road. My journey was delayed by Boston events and it was difficult to think of anything else. Now I see the last one was captured. I'm in adrenaline mode, thinking affectionately of Boston even though I never want the Red Sox to win. No celebrity thoughts for me aside from the home of Matt and Ben.

But I did stop to learn that the Kardashian-Humphries will finally end.

NYC loves Boston

...and so does Dish (I wrote Dosh). My best wishes to everyone there. I kept meaning to spew some garbage and now this horror happens. I got caught up in the reporting, going from Wolf Blitzer (lots of repetition and supposition at CNN) to Dianne Sawyer (I used to love her but she sounds sappy and intoxicated) to Brian Williams (love his daughter in Girls) to Anderson Cooper (love!) to Piers Morgan (dear bloody god, does he ask the stupidest questions or what). Had to stop.

Before this, I learned that Jane Seymour kicked her hubby to the curb. I keep meaning to buy her open heart necklace via Koors or DeBats or something but forget.Then Shannon and Ozzie might have separated but turns out she left because he fell off the wagon--and probably concussed himself. If you haven't had enough, a crazy woman threw a pube-filled razor at Hugh Jackman and said she was going to marry him (allegedly). Note to all crazy women: these tactics never work. Trust me!!!

I've decided a few things since I'm under a tight deadline to finish this book:

1. I am allowed to eat a candy bar every day.
2. When I see a Duane Reade, I can go in and buy myself a new eyeshadow.
3. I will wear my pajamas as much as possible.
4. Staying up until 2am is permitted.
5. Use of tranquilizers and sleeping aids over the next two weeks is understandable.
6. I will make a list of things I can do when I'm done: a. get a massage. b. get a foot massage. c. buy an elephant puzzle. d. see Jersey Boys for the 10th time. e. catch up 3 months of New Yorkers.

Dish Is Cracking Under the Pressure

The Universe is a jokester. This is the busiest month for me. I am finishing my book. I have two conferences to attend. Six books to edit. Normal daily stuff. Then a seventh book to edit. Now this week, sinus issues thanks to the weather. So in between hyperventilating, I'm getting monster headaches from the computer and the shifting barometric pressure. I keep saying to myself, "You call this a storm?" from Forrest Gump and also a loud, "F*ck you!" I just have to hang in there. Right now, I just want to cry. I can do that now because it's Friday.

These are the problems of a privileged girl. I am blessed to have this pressure. Except for the sinus problems. They SUCK.

Will take a break and watch Hannibal and breathe steam.

Chapter 13

I'm at the part of the Dish-story where I recount the day I went to meet TG at the aiport after not seeing him for 26 years. This is the movie I chose to watch right before. Not the best flick in the world, but Dish was a blubbering mess--in a good way.

I'm so zonked. Poor TG has been neglected. The stars are inconsolable.

We loved Dancing with the Stars--Both TG and I shed tears over Andy Dick's performance.

Eagerly awaiting when Chapter 17 is done. What a journey. And now I'm going to breathe into a paper bag.

So sad...

Rest in Peace, Annette Funicello.  We will miss her.

Sunday Recap

Must conserve eyes. here are the deets.

Mad Men starts tonight. not sure I can watch since TG loves Celebrity Apprentice (Gary Busey).

Halle Berry is preggo, which means I have to knock myself up, fast. Though my work schedule for the next three weeks is not ideal.

Phaedra is talking about liking to look at oversized penises on RHofAtlanta.

Enjoying Hannibal but the Danish actor, who is one of my faves, needs subtitles. poor Hugh Dancy has to play such a sad character, one who might meld nicely with Carrie from Homeland.

Have just discovered Girls and the genius of Lena Dunham. Though season 2 is sukking so far.

My Eyes Hurt

Done with eleven chapters. Six more to go, plus revising. Dish is tired already! 4K words times 17 = 68K words. Okay, that's not a lot. Some of the chapters are longer. During breaks, I trolled for dirt:

Richie Sambora seems to have bailed on the Bon Jovi tour. It reminds me of the pain I suffered when both Andy and Roger left Duran Duran. My tears filled the river Thames. Roger came back, and now I've developed affection for Dom Brown as their guitarist. Hope Richie and Jon can get back together.

Real Housewives a-Go Go:

Found Part 2 of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finale anti-climactic inspiring. Just seeing everyone get along made me happy Where the f*ck was all the fighting?. As usual, Brandi is a truth-teller. As much as Kyle and Kim protested, I sort of agree that Kyle didn't know what to do with a sober Kim this season. This happened to me once. Someone I loved went sober. I was so ecstatic, overjoyed ... but then uneasy. I didn't know how to deal with this person sober, not needing me around. Consciously, you want that person to get better, but it disrupts your role as the one who keeps trying to get that person help. I think Brandi was right, but wasn't sure why she was right. Kim and Kyle, I'm sure, love each other deeply.

Real Housewives of Orange County: Everyone's talking about Vicki's new face. I got a new dress. Alexis's husband used the word "anti-thesis" which made me see how educational the show really is. Tamra and Gretchen are so close, they should do porn together. Brianna had a baby but that's secondary to the fact that Vicki is a grandmother. Everyone is wearing scary dark eyeshadow.