OMG Miley and Liam Are Over!

This shocked me to the core--because I always bank money on engagements made in one's teens. Now Miley can finally unleash her skanky self and potentially upstage another sectarian massacre! As with Felicity, everything went downhill when she cut her hair.

My apologies for yesterday's comments about Justin Theroux. I keep forgetting that he's the genius behind Tropic Thunder and many other movies. His skinny pants really bother me, and I want to see Jen in a poofy white dress already.

Today Dish met two celebrities. I'll admit here that there was a split second when I contemplated saving their water bottles as a psycho souvenir, but then I came back to myself. Also, I didn't have room in my bag.