Gwen and Blake Are Better Than Reality

When Blake and Gwen became a couple, I threw down my book on Seneca, famous ancient Roman philosopher, and rushed to get the dirt. No need for stoicism when you have Gwen's outrageous outfits, Blake's gut-tickling humor, and three hours a week of sizzling chemistry on The Voice.

The pain I feel over next week's finale cuts deep, and I am hoping tabloids will keep me stocked with pics of their canoodling until next fall. Forget Kim and Kanye's baby deity or Trump's Hitleresque rantings (yes, I said that). You're okay if you focus on Gwake.

With constant Youtubing and TMZing and Googling--sending links to TG, friends and relatives--call me grateful that they've pulled me back into celebrity obsessiveness. Duran Duran just wasn't cutting it even with their excellent new album. After thirty-plus years, there is no hope beyond my usual nosebleed seats, which doesn't appeal to my almost-fifty lazy ass. Screw Seneca and delayed and expensive gratification.

Gwake is free*, immediate and middle-age sassy.

*Not free if you buy Gwen's collaboration with Urban Decay. It's 58$. Yes, I did.