I Thought They Would Last Forever!!!

Especially since she's way younger than he is, I thought she was a lesbian, and their legend gap is too hard to overcome. That said, her hotness trajectory squashes his into a tiny tattooed ponytail sporting, hygienically challenged, guitar-playing ant. The truth remains that legend  defeats hotness every time.

For Dish, this is a little personal since I do have some real Depp insight and feel that I want to defend a gifted actor/rogue whose accent has changed with the ages. And yet, I tend to believe women who say they've had the crap beaten out of them.

And yet again, I wasn't there and it's none of my business. I hope the divorce is quick and he gives her $50 million just to go away, then another $50 million to women's shelters and animal rescue (since he loves animals).

In other Dishnews, I've broken up with several shows this season, which means I am reading more (yawn!).

Scandal: I hate to admit that I've always hated Olivia. Love her work ethic but just don't think she's fun. Mellie was fun until she started bellowing too much. The constant monologuing drives me nuts. The president looks as if he's always stoned. Why can't I be? Done.

The Shahs of Sunset: With MJ's sperm testing her BF on Date #2, GG's new tatas and boom boom, Reza pre-commitment vomiting, and Mike's flagrant inability to be a husband, I can't take it anymore. These Shahs are too effed up for me. Asa is the only one who seems sane, but her kaftan company is not as intriguing as her diamond infused water business.

The Real Housewives of Dallas: Too much poop and fart talk and I just can't relate.

The Voice. If you don't hire Gwen, Dish won't watch. Adam and Blake are great, but Gwen is Zen.

Nashville: For those who loved this slow season, I'll solve the cliffhanger for you. Of course, Juliet goes down with the plane. She's had a rough year and probably wants out of this show. Plus, how else can you make Avery a crying p*ssy? He never wins.

My new show to watch? Penny Dreadful. That Eva Green can make herself look so ugly, which I admire in a good actress. Beautifully written and acted, it's a well kept secret. We're obsessed.

Now on to my favorite topic: Gwen and Blake and how their relationship is progressing. No doubt you've seen their duet on The Voice and the Billboard Music Awards. I only supply a link to the former because her weird makeup for the BMA is hard to look at (even though I have many, many times). There's talk about their rumored babies, engagement, marriage, etc... All you really need is to follow her on Snapchat. It's better than most things.

And now, back to ironing TG's shirts and watching nothing.