The Conversation

Darling, the cosine function is only used when evaluating xy over my butt.

Yo, I think your butt would be a whole integer and not a cosine.

The only cosine you know anything about is what the bank asks when you want to get another house.

Speaking of houses, the area of a receptacle is height times altitude.

I think your receptacle has too much depth.

Baby, you say the sweetest things.

The Conversation

Katnip, how can you say Jane Eyre is about colonial rule? That's so whack!

Snookiebear, he fornicated with that ugly nanny and kept his wife in a cage. Sorta like, ya know, England dominating whatever? We so don't stand for that in the U.S. And I really don't like to be dominated. I mean, I sort of do, but not really.

Come on, poopiepants, would I ever keep you in a cage? Rochester's beyotch-wife was insane and you're so not.

Thanks so much, my short snap-crackle-doodle-bug. I promise I will never ever wever set your housey-wousey on fire.

Serendipity

No sooner does Dish show off her masterful Photoshopping with an Aniston haiku than she reads that Jen and Vince have broken up. How will Jennifer deal with the foiled attempt at relationship one-upmanship now that her ex-husband is all snug in a bug on a rug? Get someone else FAST! Someone better and famouser. Like maybe...no, I can't say it. And besides, he just got married so that wouldn't be nice. If only everyone could have their failed relationships in the headlines. Speaking of headlines, Dish is going out on her first date in ten months. Where did all the time go? Not that this is exciting, but certainly a miracle given absorption in work and Sudoku puzzles. And yet, there will always be time to draw mustaches on stars.

Evil Software Haiku

Dish loves the Jen, yet
we taught ourselves Photoshop
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

World Events Haiku

The Closer back on!
People dying in Iraq
Brit flashes cho-cho

Bolton goes bye bye
Brown cloud on Albuquerque
Where are Tom and Kate?

Keanu's Korner: Haiku

The message is such
Puppies sing when birds fly low
Til, split ends aren't cool

Britney and Paris: The Conversation

But, Brit, wouldn't you say Emile Zola was a hack? I mean, like, Naturalism is so, like, Nine Inch Nails but late 1800s.

True, Paree, but churning out twenty million tomes is totally awesome. And you could say that the body's decay--especially of the female body--is much like France post-monarchy.

Agree but isn't it quality and not quantity? Billy Ray Cyrus wrote one cool song, so isn't that enough?

Zola had time on his hands, girlfriend. He could sit and write all day--quality and quantity. No worries on where to get servicing or meals since he had a wife and mistress. No need for a real job so not too shab. Hmmm, been there, married that!

What are you talking about? [cackle, cackle] Okay, c'mon, let's go slug Lindsay Lohan!

Keanu's Korner--Haiku

Ageless and handsome
Yet chin fades to nothingness
Dig the Tao, not Duh