Happy Birthday to David Bowie! And Elvis!

In a world where mediocrity is acceptable, know that genius still exists and, at a moment's notice, can fill you with ecstasy. Two words: David Bowie. He just has to move and speak and I'm happy. Here are some favorites:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hDbpF4Mvkw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv6mEv_rDdE

Great news: Dish might be in The New York Times! It took major events (and not my god-given talent) to make me famous, i.e. major apartment fire to get me on TV and now TG's becoming my husband to get me where I belong--in the spotlight. I'm open to movie offers.

The celebs are keeping quiet, though apparently Gwyneth Paltrow is going on a cleanse.

Countdown to Matrimony: Wedding Movie #22

The Wedding Planner: I've seen this so many times it's not a movie anymore--just shapes, voices, innuendo, penis knocked off statue, a mentally challenged Justin Chambers pre-Grey's Anatomy, Matthew McConaughey's thinning hair which is magically fuller for How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days, J.Lo's perfection, those little bitty bites she takes of her TV dinner, the slight girl-crush Dish develops each time on Brigitte Wilson-Sampras (whose husband also has thinning hair), the Judy Greer-best-girlfriend comic relief and Matthew's mad dash to stop the wedding. My favorite part of the movie is when Matthew says to a drunk-on-Heineken J.Lo that he knows all the curves of her face and that their night in the park (where NOTHING happened) was "the best night of [his] life." Wow, his life must have sucked! They just ate M&M and watched a sh*tty movie. Which I keep watching while eating M&Ms.

My Last Weekend as Miss Dish Pennybottom

By some weird stroke of fate, I am alone this weekend. Me-time is not as much fun as it used to be but I persevere with couch potato sloth and lethargic trips to the coffee shop downstairs. Little is accomplished as I go from one activity to the next. TBS is having a wedding movie weekend and this will sustain me until TG gets home.

So, Jane Krakowski is pregnant, giving me hope that I might get knocked up someday. Though I guess knocked up isn't the right term. My lifelong dream of going to the office, pregnant and single, i.e. an abomination, will never happen. I'll leave that to some other brave soul. I had my chance!

All My Children's Rebecca Budig is about to walk down the aisle for the third time. Who is she? The irrepressible Greenleaf on AMC, part bad girl, part misunderstood, part-ex-wife of The Bachelor circa a long time ago. A little minutia goes a long way, kids. This celebrity database is fierce (and no, TG, I did not take an Ambien).

Brad Pitt is in talks to play John Lennon, which to Dish, is a disaster. I can see it but I'd rather Billy Crudup or someone meatier play this one. Though why not keep going for the Oscar?

Just when things couldn't get worse for Katie Holmes's career (and I do hope she has one because she *did* do some decent work BTC), The Kennedys miniseries was axed by the History Channel. Phew. Now this "history" channel can focus on its manly flood of World War II shows.

Countdown to Matrimony: Wedding Movie #21

Love Actually: I watched this one over and over again when it first came out. I still cry at the scene where Liam and the little boy go to the airport. The Firth-machine always delights, fetching Hugh. At the time, Dish was very much the Laura Linney character (except without insane brother)--maybe still is a little--and wanting to be the Portuguese maid. Notice how every woman in this movie plays a subservient role? Yes, Dish wrote a letter to the director about this. Nice wedding at the beginning and Keira looks so jubilant...and skinny, I say, carrying three pounds of burrito on my gut.

Dish, Wedding Announcement, New York Times?

I can neither confirm nor deny. But...hmm...we shall see.

Do you believe that Tom Cruise is an amazing kisser? This headline caught my eye but this is what Gwyneth Paltrow says after locking lips with some of the most famous lips in the business. I sort of believe it since he's delivered a few believable movie kisses whereas not all leading man do. Ugh...I should be writing about the environment, Zola, or learning about Riemann's zeta function.

Eva Longoria seems to have moved on romantically and we all can breathe a sigh of relief.

Countdown to Matrimony: Wedding Movie #20

The In-Laws: Isn't it too freaky that Ryan Reynolds plays the groom in this one? I wasn't expecting that! Confused this one with the Dennis Farina/Bette Midler movier where the parents f*ck up the wedding (hoping this doesn't happen--surely not from DM who is angelic). Oh well, mayhem creates excitement so let the craziness begin! As a rule, Dish loves Albert Brooks and Michael Douglas, mostly the latter in comedy. Douglas plays a deep cover CIA agent who ropes in Brooks on a mission. It's a bit of a one-note wonder with Douglas and Brooks grappling. Amusing but I didn't learn anything.

Happy Birthday to Marilyn Manson!

Not sure why but I enjoy this artist--ever since Bowling for Columbine. Imagine he's tough to be around. And the pasty makeup thing looks really icky as a person ages (see lead singer of The Cure). So much Goth, so much anemia.

And so much theft as Gary Collins gets raked over the coals for a little dine and dash. What's happening to people? Do they know how hard it is to work in the food industry (Dish lasted 3 weeks as a waitress, 1 day at Burger King). Pay your way in life!

On a funner note, The View's Sherri Shepard got engaged. She worked hard to get healthy and when a person does that, other changes happen. You start attracting healthier people to you.

What to say about Lindsay Lohan? How soon before trouble brews again? Maybe she needs to read some Proust.

Was It Just Sex?

Tragedy strikes Hollywood as Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal break up. Two months was enough? That poor girl has had quite a romantic history. What's next for Taylor?

I'm more worried about Selena Gomez who's getting death threats for allegedly kissing pop zygote Justin Bieber. Reminds of when I first saw Donny Osmond with his new wife. I cried for days, clutching my purple socks. And then I moved on to the late Elvis Presley.

Five minutes of last night's The Bachelor made me cringe. So Bad Brad went to a therapist and worked through his commitment-phobia (America, there are bigger problems in the world). Now he's ready to date on television again, i.e. find his wife, and has been unleashed to a pack of angry or aroused women. Did I watch more than five minutes? That's between me and Hulu.com.