Star Sighting--Richie Rich!!!

7:10pm at a restaurant on Seventh Avenue: TG and I went in to crash DM's girl party downstairs when I spotted fashion designer/celebutante Richie Rich avidly listening to a friend at the bar. He stood out like a sparkling star against a dreary black night. I tried not to stare and just followed TG to see the other shining beacon of light, Mama-la. Seeing RR was so exciting and a nice boost since my cat had just pissed on the couch.

Today's Question: Did my mother play Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons while I was in the womb? It is the *only* explanation for why I get goosebumps and teary every time I hear their songs. I might have to see Jersey Boys again and drag her with me so that I can solve the mystery. Either that or a Shirley MacLaine past-life regression, STAT!

TV catchup: The Office, I'm over Robert California and the whole show. Only Dwight and Jim sparring rocks my world. Elisabeth Shue is replacing Marg Helgenberger on CSI starting in February, which is brilliance! Remember The Saint (All roads lead back to Duran Duran--and if you know how, please say so!)?

Failed diet: On the subway, I skimmed through more Tony Robbins and discovered he even has dieting advice. Eat water-based foods, no dairy, try to avoid meat, protein not THAT great for you, etc... Just today, Dish tried to obey but then dessert arrived. A parfait. I can't say no to parfait, which led to chocolate. Then gnocchi later and then peanut brittle (damn you, TG, for enabling). My season is screwed.

Wishing for Julie Bowen's Metabolism....

...but Dish is a little too chill to be a stick-figure. TG and I are catching up television, realizing that Modern Family does have the best writing. It's hard to make TG laugh out loud and this show does it.

James Spader on The Office, very clever overall and given the talented writers and cast, it could pull through without Steve Carrell, just not for more than a couple years.

While I'm a huge Simon Cowell fan, especially since he doesn't subscribe to American attitude of lifting up the talentless, The X Factor hasn't been doing well in the ratings. Could audiences be tired of talent competitions and Glee type shows?

Goldie Hawn's ex-husband Bill Hudson has a new tell-all. Goldie allegedly wanted an open marriage. Color me shocked! The 70s, Warren Beatty, oh God, I don't believe it. I wonder why these cast-aside mates want to write tell-alls? It makes them look bitter and without a hobby. Maybe the money is gone.

Here's another juicy tidbit, Courtney Stodden claims to have been aroused for 24 hours straight on her wedding night and wants to go to the "University of Doug." This really does remind me of high school. The difference in Dishworld was...no wedding night at 16, didn't know any Doug, and I only found arousal in Duran Duran and translating Catullus.

More vile than choice reality stars is the GOP in the most recent debate. Stephen Hill, a gay soldier, was booed for asking about DADT and none of the candidates came to his aid. A very sick party is the Grand OLD Party.

Today was the last day of All My Children. I have it in my queue though will need a lot of Kleenex. Greg and Jenny forever!!! And now Kim Delaney is getting yanked off stage for wobbling and slurring her words. The world has changed.

We Are All Troy Davis

How sick I am already of this quote, but will confess to much agitation last night as Troy Davis's execution delay gave me hope--regardless of whether or not he did it. I don't know if he did it. Who really knows the truth for sure? Good that people protested. Very sad that the MacPhail family has had to endure this torment over and over. I still don't believe in the death penalty. Every time I read about someone on their way to the chamber, I feel ill. Even Timothy McVeigh's death disturbed me. Last night, I thought about Troy Davis dealing with those last minutes, the last meal if there was one (how can you EAT?), the last face he/she sees. Bin Laden's execution didn't fill me with relief either. Little murders and big murders breed more murder and anguish. If Troy Davis is a martyr and truly innocent, Dish is cynical enough to know the effect won't last long given our appetite for fresh blood. I hope this execution brings about discussion. I fear it won't. Gosh, my soap box makes me seem taller, don't it? I'm only 5'5.

Better than death talk, the balm of tonight's premiere of The Office. James Spader will rock harder than Kathy Bates since he was born to be an ineffective, punishing office worker (see Wall Street, Secretary). He and Rainn Wilson are so good together, it's almost porn.

Emily Deschanel aka Bones popped out a son. Mazel! Must catch up on Modern Family. Last night's Criminal Minds did damage to my psyche. How I love those behavioral specialists.

Countdown and relaxing meditation starts now for when Dish is reunited with her beloved Duran Duran in DC (TG is threatening to throw his panties on stage) and NYC: 26 days!

There Is Balance in the Universe

Kate Plus 8 has been cancelled. Let's hope this is a trend in reality shows. Ruth Madoff has divorced her atrocious husband, though I'm not sure there was much choice. The Office has the foresight not to replace Steve Carrell, knowing they have an excellent ensemble. Then...Billy Crystal allegedly wants to host the Oscars, though Dish is not of the opinion that he's the ONLY one who can host. Heidi Klum went topless in Sardinia. Don't you feel better?

Dish will try to refrain from watching Bachelor Pad, but not much hope for resisting on The Closer and Rizzoli & Isles.

Melting in NYC

When I got home this afternoon, I felt dizzy. I checked the weather and it was 104 and humid as *%&$. Reminded me of my days in the Southwest, where it reached 107 in July and all you did was stay indoors. So that's what TG and I did. We watched 2 episodes of Real Housewives of New York City [Ramona pregnant? That much Pinot can make anyone feel pregnant]. Even TG got into the cat-fighting. His favorite housewife was "the blond with the gay Australian husband." We tried to figure out what LuAnn's song "Chic, c'est la vie" really meant since we are both fluent in French. Is there subtext? A Haunting... came next, where the actual devil, Mr. Satan, haunted a family in Connecticut. A few episodes of The Office, Scary Movie 4 and now we're at The Blues Brothers, though I never cared for John Belushi. I know, blasphemy. The Beatles aren't my favorite either. I don't really like apple pie and don't get why everyone thinks the High Line in Chelsea is so great. There, I said it.

TG made two types of pasta and I broke my sugar fast with a Reese's Peanut Butter cup. Desperate times. It was too hot to feel anything for the stars. Wanted to see Horrible Bosses but did not want to hike over to a theater.

Celebrity Break Up and Make Up!

I pray that this is only a rumor (to hype a movie/TV show), though I smelled this separation when Peter Facinelli's star rose in Twilight, then Nurse Jackie. He and Jennie Garth are beyond adorable but when there's celebrity inequality, marriage suffers. They are allegedly on a break. I know, pass the Kleenex. Cute-central, both of them. I wish them well and pray for a miracle--or that it's total BS!

Okay, Hershey Kiss, be prepared to cry that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel might be back together. This doesn't excite me, but I'm all for making love work. See above.

If you can believe, Nic Cage's freaky, mentally-disturbed-and-I-wonder-if-it-runs-in-the-family son Weston Cage has flooded TMZ with his craziness about marriage and getting divorced after two minutes from his hot, pregnant and equally crazy wife. I'm a little fascinated but more evidence of celebrity spawn going off the deep end.

My schadenfreude is at an all-time high as Jay Leno is not funny with a Casey Anthony joke that also disses Obama. My couch is way funnier.

In happy news: James Spader has joined the cast of The Office. I loathed JS as an actor starting in the 80s but he's grown on me. Think he gets better and better and he rocked The Office this past season. Triumphant casting.

Highlight of the month: Shark Week on the Discovery Channel starts 7/31.

So, I've been eating a hot fudge sundae every day since I'm like 5. Then there's the tin of Altoids. The afternoon brownie and mashed potato baths. I'm thin and exercise, but the doctor put a damper on my perfection by saying I need to cut my sugar intake. Kumquat did he say? Dish cannot be on the high end of the "normal" curve! Eat (tree bark and celery) Pray Suffer!

Daily News vs. Post

Daily News got the right cover in that gay marriage is now legal in New York! Chelsea is the happiest place on Earth. What is the Post's cover? A woman saved from suicide with subtle mention of bill's passing at the bottom. Screw them!

Anistoux is in town and Dish is dying to catch a glimpse, but it's nice to give new couples breathing room. I wish he'd shave the beard. It is just hideous, though the Grizzly Adams look gets attention. Does he get egg whites stuck in it?

In sad news, the great Peter Falk died. I loved, loved, loved him in Murder by Death and The Cheap Detective. What an icon from Dish's youth, those freaky warm eyes, scratchy voice and dry humor. RIP, Columbo!

Someone needs to explain about these new allegations against Tobey "Squeaky" Maguire and the illegal poker games, hookers and blow? I'm confused.

NPH and David Burtka are getting married. I sort of feel as if they are THE couple of New York City and have been for a while. I once saw NPH in Park Slope but that was six years ago.

James Spader might be replacing Kathy Bates on The Office. This actor has grown on me and I'm sure will make The Office more palatable if Steve Carrell won't be there.

And now, back to my working weekend. Two projects to finish by Monday and then continuing a long sojourn in the flaming fires of Satan's lair, which has been extended through mid-July.

The Way We Were

JJ and I had a meaningful conversation about The Way We Were when he was cutting my steely mane. This "love" story always bothered me. Robert Redford was so cold/wooden in that movie that it's more The Way I Thought We Were. Babs is too colorful, filling up three screens with her energy. How could her character fall for such vanilla? Maybe that was the point. Sadly, Arthur Laurents died this week at 93. Such a writer to have given us a story we still talk about. That doesn't happen much anymore.

Is Christina Aguilera (TG's secret celebrity crush) being a diva on The Voice? Though wildly uninformed, I'm on Team Adam. He may be a whore, but Maroon 5 has stayed the course.

Jesse James has a tacky tell-all book coming out. If he really wanted to "tell" his story, why not do it for free? His recklessness and desperate fame-whoring is a little gross (yes, I follow him and Kat Von D on Twitter). I would have waited until the body was cold before doing my tell-all.

Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell are engaged. Nothing wrong with that.

The Office without Steve Carrell. They're doing the best they can. Not sure how the show will survive without a heavy bat. Heavier than Carrell. Who could it be? Ferrell is a Band-Aid. Alec Baldwin could double-team.

Brothers & Sisters: Don't care anymore. Still watching. Someone needs to pull the switch.

Reviews for Something Borrowed, ouch! The Emily Giffin novel is wonderful, a joy to read, hard to translate onto screen.

Ramona is insane again on Real Housewives of New York City. Everyone else is fine. I sort of feel that nothing is wrong on the show. On Orange County, the characters do things: go to plastic surgery appointments, look at real estate, get pets groomed. On NYC, the wives just meet to vent, then go home.

Fine Line Between Champion of a Cause and Total Diva

Modern divas tend to be all talk and skimpy on what counts (talent and integrity), which is what I seemed to encounter a bit too much recently. Must be courteous and nice, when I would love to pull a Nurse Jackie and tell these dorkuses eff themselves, especially a nasty young blonde who mouthed off for no reason at a Duane Reade counter-person for an innocent mistake.

This week, I spent hundreds of dollars on God knows what, money disappearing in general on essentials, regretted my splurge on awesome Tom Ford glasses since they weren't necessary even though my old glasses are ratty, obligations are amassing that will most likely require tranquilizers, envious of acquaintance whose Twitter announced she was front row at Duran Duran concert which brings back teen "missing out" angst in agonizing waves, air conditioning smells like an unwashed person living inside it and came home to kitty yakking everywhere. The Universe is telling Dish to go dark for a few days (but never dark on gossip), stay in the recesses and watch action take place. Like Jack Bauer, I am always on the move. Psyche saved by tonight's emotional The Office and Real Housewives of New York City. Of course, am waking up at 4am to watch royal wedding. Must always stay true to pop-culture-obsessed self.

Of course, I am all talk, too, and mostly happy. First person to blame rant on my cycle gets a smack.

Donald Trump: Jackasstown, Population You!

He gives Gingies a bad name. After all this hoopla, Obama released his birth certificate. Wonder if Catholic President JFK was ever asked to prove his legitimacy. This country can't handle when a non-WASP takes office. If Hillary had been President, I'm sure Trump would have asked her to prove she was a woman. The world would be dull without idiots we can make fun of. I hope Trumpster runs for President. Wouldn't that be a circus?

All hell has broken loose on Brothers & Sisters. In case you stopped watching, 40+ years ago Nora Walker couldn't keep her legs closed and questions arise about Sarah's biological father. Kevin and Tommy (I have no idea what their freaking names are) have a child stolen by Ken Olin and Patricia Wettig's confused daughter! Such drama, Thirty-Something style only with looser morals and no horny, whiny bearded redheads, though I could see Timothy Busfield making a cameo as Nora's long-lost something. Or...Patricia's secret husband! Then it really would be Thirty-Something, which I watched when I was -7.

Glee: So tired of the ballads. The best part was the mall "Barbra Streisand" scene. Love that Emma comes out as OCD, that I Never Promised You a Rose Garden's Kathleen Quinlan was her shrinkipoo and that Emma finally takes the damn pills. Sometimes you need them. Not enough Sue Sylvester in this episode.

Kate Hudson is engaged.

Quinoa Is the New Black

Saw Brad Womack and Emily Maynard on the cover of Life & Style, as having broken up. Couldn't resist and forked over the $2.99. I find L&S largely unreliable but perhaps it held a kernel of truth. Brad and Emily seemed shaky as a couple, which destroyed me.

Last night's The Office made me cry, mostly because Steve Carrell was crying. Those tears looked real.

Jerry Seinfeld and Donald Trump in a war of words. At least Donald Trump says interesting things. When I say interesting, I mean outrageous and illogical. They could both be used as landfill, though Jerry gets a pass for Seinfeld.

Spike Lee is dissing Tyler Perry for his work. Envy is a bitch.

And if you weren't convinced of the copious amount of Hollywood humping, Mary McCormack is pregs!

Leeza Gibbons got hitched. I get her mixed up with Vanna White, who hawks yarn for Lionsbrand. A shout-out to brassy blond hostesses and letter-turners over 40! I adore Vanna's work ethic.

29$ for Sunblock?

Yes, the scientists at Duane Reade assured me that La Roche-Posay makes a sunblock that doesn't sting or peal. And they were right. La Roche-Posay is like a primer. My face will be protected.

Did you watch The Office? I was bored until the backwards hug between Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell.

The Real Housewives of New York City is going downhill fast. I wonder what will stop my viewing. This season I hate Alex. She is of the poised super-self-righteous who spout peace, love, recycling, liberal politics but secretly and totally effed up. Then again, who isn't? I am bananas.

Speaking of effed up--I contributed four questions to Duran Duran's live Q&A on Youtube. They never got used. It's all a scam. What was I thinking?

A full day of professional and social activities--on 5 hours sleep. Not sure I'll survive. Let us pray.

She Could Be My OLDER Sister

The Killing--I'm hooked. The slow, creepy Seattle murder mystery has seeped into my dark soul and taken it hostage. The female detective could be a Dish-relation but my slight agoraphobia forbids me from visiting so many crime scenes. I could solve a case--from my little office in Chelsea...Skype?

J.J., everyone's favorite hairguru, is plotzing over Kathleen Turner's excellence in High. He and I don't always agree on art, but I do love Kathleen. She's an original. Might have to see it.

Brett Easton Ellis is gay-slurring Glee, calling it a "puddle of HIV." The more advanced we become, the more backwards and sensationalist. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to stir-fry some puppies and call them "f**cking f***ots" on my Twitter.

Did You Watch "Mildred Pierce?"

Dish JUST got rid of HBO (to justify getting DVR) so missed Mildred Pierce last night. I will rent it, even though first reviews from friends (except for JJ) have been poor, saying that it's boring. Joan Crawford is tough to top or even equal.

Fellow Duranies, Simon Le Bon threw out his back right before his performance tonight--so had to re-SHedule. Wonder what tipped off the spasm. Today's lesson: Stilettos can be murder on the lumbar region.

I'm over them as a couple but Scarlett allegedly brought Sean Penn to Reese's wedding. Can you imagine all those celebrities using the same bathroom? The artifacts one could collect--dizzying. Though Dish has her boundaries.

Suckerpunch did poorly at the box office and not sure why this makes me happy. Probably because it looks and feels too derivative of Sin City/300/The Spirit/The Watchmen?

Dishbrother continues to torture me with Charlie Sheen packages. Oh, that didn't sound good. Can you believe? A whole few days without him in the headlines. HAS BEEN.

Moving day coming soon. We are rechannelling to larger quarters. To combat this intense stress, will watch the premiere of the always excellent Nurse Jackie. The Godiva is gone. What's left in the medicine cabinet?

I Need Oxygen...

The Great Aniston might be moving into a relative's building...Guess who's going to borrow sugar? Better yet, a friend will give me 10$ to say to her, "I don't think you're wearing enough flair." http://movieclips.com/rZXFU-office-space-movie-flair-minimum/

Simon Le Bon's Beard Is Growing On Me

Sometimes electrolysis isn't enough. When you get older--not that I would know this--unwanted hair grows even more and in the strangest places. I imagine Simon is tired of shaving and wants to mark this new Mark Ronson era of Duran Duran with sweaty egg-salad-catching face fur. I like it.

What I don't like is when VH1 airs the Superbowl Jams (on which DD played) at the same time as The Office (TG's favorite show). For the last half hour, I manically switched back and forth. Tonight's Office stunk hard and I missed most of DD's set. To cap off the night, TG said Duran Duran was "kind of old and flat." I'm not speaking to him right now.

Let's pretend nothing happened. Julia might be in talks to star as the Evil Queen in The Brothers Grimm: Snow White. Could be genius or terrible casting. It depends on the angle, will she be adult-evil or kid-evil?

My latest genius coupling: Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen. Is it true he's doing rehab at home with an addiction specialist? I guess I could be an addiction specialist (see all previous posts).

My Last Weekend as Miss Dish Pennybottom

By some weird stroke of fate, I am alone this weekend. Me-time is not as much fun as it used to be but I persevere with couch potato sloth and lethargic trips to the coffee shop downstairs. Little is accomplished as I go from one activity to the next. TBS is having a wedding movie weekend and this will sustain me until TG gets home.

So, Jane Krakowski is pregnant, giving me hope that I might get knocked up someday. Though I guess knocked up isn't the right term. My lifelong dream of going to the office, pregnant and single, i.e. an abomination, will never happen. I'll leave that to some other brave soul. I had my chance!

All My Children's Rebecca Budig is about to walk down the aisle for the third time. Who is she? The irrepressible Greenleaf on AMC, part bad girl, part misunderstood, part-ex-wife of The Bachelor circa a long time ago. A little minutia goes a long way, kids. This celebrity database is fierce (and no, TG, I did not take an Ambien).

Brad Pitt is in talks to play John Lennon, which to Dish, is a disaster. I can see it but I'd rather Billy Crudup or someone meatier play this one. Though why not keep going for the Oscar?

Just when things couldn't get worse for Katie Holmes's career (and I do hope she has one because she *did* do some decent work BTC), The Kennedys miniseries was axed by the History Channel. Phew. Now this "history" channel can focus on its manly flood of World War II shows.

Countown to Matrimony: Wedding Movie #7

Mickey Blue Eyes: Every few years, I convince myself this movie might improve with another viewing. NO SUCH LUCK! It's entirely soporific though, as you can tell, Dish is on a Hugh Grant binge. At best, MBE makes no sense. The chemistry between Hugh and Jeanne? Foggedaboudit! No matter how talented they are, the sizzle ain't there. You don't have to be psychic John Edward to know what happened. Some McKee-worshipping-25-year-old went into a studio exec's office and "pitched" the idea. The studio exec *loved* the Four Weddings and a Funeral meets The Godfather story and saw dollar signs. Seven people probably worked on the crappy script and now it's DOA.

Lovely wedding dress, though. Too bad Dish can't wear white. (And not just b/c of lack of purity)

A Slow News Day

I remember where I was when the plane few into the Hudson in 2009. Do you? Now, Captain Sully's heroic landing will turn into a movie, starring some lucky actor. Hmmm. My top pick from the list is Harrison Ford (for box office) and William H. Macy (for pure acting chops). Probably the latter because he needs an Oscar, STAT. The problem is: How do you make this into a 90-minute movie?

Lastly, the world's most talentless couple, Heidi and Spencer, are no longer divorcing. We saw that coming last year.

Open Letter to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Dear Demi and Ashton,

Open letters to the stars are the thing these days, so here goes: I was born in Ohio during a time that could only be described as volatile. LBJ might have been in office, but I'd have to Wikipedia that. The riots in Paris turned students into warriors. On the blessed day of my birth, my mother cried because I was so ugly, though I would turn into a beauty weeks later when my head regained a normal shape. Ever since, I've given my family such joy--Oh wait, this is not about me. Demi and Ashton, I don't care about the cheating rumors or the media's promise of more scandals. Please stop making sh*tty movies! I lost ninety minutes from The Joneses and, Ashton, following you on Twitter has made my life hell. Katharine Hepburn vomited from her grave over Guess Who, as did Sidney Poitier even though he's still alive. I enjoy you both and have seen potential come to life. Demi, your movies have been iconic--from your overalls in Ghost to your sexually harassing Michael Douglas in Disclosure. Your voice and inky black hair are the stuff of legend. And Ashton, Punk'd is beyond brilliant (waiting for you to land a great role in a movie). I hope you work out your problems since you're a nice couple. Do better projects so that I can praise you.

Unblemished,
Dish