Two Confirmed Bachelors Fall. So Does the Sky!!! Followed by Sinead O'Connor's Reconciliation!

Hallelujia! I'm full to busting with happy news! This report brings me to manic tears: After a night of lovemaking, Sinead O'Connor and her husband of 18 days decided to reconcile! Stay away from the weed, Sinead, though I've heard it can enhance sexual arousal. And please, at least have the decency to share which position/s sealed the deal???

Even more joyous (though Hersheykiss might be miffed), Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are finally trying the knot. A dream come true! But Dish wonders how this will affect her movie career. I mean, is New Year's Eve it? Please, Jessica, now that you have the man nailed down, don't give up your gift/dream (no WASP sarcasm, I promise. I saw The Illusionist). And, I've heard that Mario Lopez is also engaged to his babymama!

Let's all join hands and dance in a circle of love and light.

Though, with happy comes sad as Nick Cannon suffers from mild kidney failure. A little cranberry juice does a body good. Please get better, Nick. You're a delight in movies/TV and the only one who can tame the beast.

Oh, and sources are on bumpwatch for Rachel Zoe. Lastly, it seems the President went shirtless in Hawaii, playing football. I do NOT want to see Daddy without clothes. Please get that shirt back on, POTUS.

Celebrity Break Up and Make Up!

I pray that this is only a rumor (to hype a movie/TV show), though I smelled this separation when Peter Facinelli's star rose in Twilight, then Nurse Jackie. He and Jennie Garth are beyond adorable but when there's celebrity inequality, marriage suffers. They are allegedly on a break. I know, pass the Kleenex. Cute-central, both of them. I wish them well and pray for a miracle--or that it's total BS!

Okay, Hershey Kiss, be prepared to cry that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel might be back together. This doesn't excite me, but I'm all for making love work. See above.

If you can believe, Nic Cage's freaky, mentally-disturbed-and-I-wonder-if-it-runs-in-the-family son Weston Cage has flooded TMZ with his craziness about marriage and getting divorced after two minutes from his hot, pregnant and equally crazy wife. I'm a little fascinated but more evidence of celebrity spawn going off the deep end.

My schadenfreude is at an all-time high as Jay Leno is not funny with a Casey Anthony joke that also disses Obama. My couch is way funnier.

In happy news: James Spader has joined the cast of The Office. I loathed JS as an actor starting in the 80s but he's grown on me. Think he gets better and better and he rocked The Office this past season. Triumphant casting.

Highlight of the month: Shark Week on the Discovery Channel starts 7/31.

So, I've been eating a hot fudge sundae every day since I'm like 5. Then there's the tin of Altoids. The afternoon brownie and mashed potato baths. I'm thin and exercise, but the doctor put a damper on my perfection by saying I need to cut my sugar intake. Kumquat did he say? Dish cannot be on the high end of the "normal" curve! Eat (tree bark and celery) Pray Suffer!