A Crazy Day for Female Celebrities! Dish Is Here for Amateur Counseling!

So, Sinead O'Connor ended her marriage AGAIN, blaming the evil media (though, she is media herself). What's a quirky, wildly-talented middle-aged babe to do? She sought a man for sexcapades and affection. A man stepped up--a drug counselor, no less--and it still didn't work. If their marriage can't last, what hope do the rest of us have?

Our favorite cute blond from the 80s and 90s (she could skip the last decade) Heather Locklear mixed Rx and booze, winding up in the hospital. I love her. I don't want her to be sick. She needs to be on TV. Aside from the substance abuse, why isn't her phone ringing?

My favorite celebri-cook Paula Deen announced that she has the diabooties, a lesson for us to work out and watch that sugar. Dish is a little pre-diabetic and thin-nish so we're all at risk. Let's end this epidemic and eat good!

It shouldn't be a surprise: Anderson Cooper's talk show is dead to me. Not only is our episode probably never airing thereby holding the Dish/TG celebrity hostage, but he's doing a show on toddlers and bikini waxing. I draw the line.

Two Confirmed Bachelors Fall. So Does the Sky!!! Followed by Sinead O'Connor's Reconciliation!

Hallelujia! I'm full to busting with happy news! This report brings me to manic tears: After a night of lovemaking, Sinead O'Connor and her husband of 18 days decided to reconcile! Stay away from the weed, Sinead, though I've heard it can enhance sexual arousal. And please, at least have the decency to share which position/s sealed the deal???

Even more joyous (though Hersheykiss might be miffed), Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are finally trying the knot. A dream come true! But Dish wonders how this will affect her movie career. I mean, is New Year's Eve it? Please, Jessica, now that you have the man nailed down, don't give up your gift/dream (no WASP sarcasm, I promise. I saw The Illusionist). And, I've heard that Mario Lopez is also engaged to his babymama!

Let's all join hands and dance in a circle of love and light.

Though, with happy comes sad as Nick Cannon suffers from mild kidney failure. A little cranberry juice does a body good. Please get better, Nick. You're a delight in movies/TV and the only one who can tame the beast.

Oh, and sources are on bumpwatch for Rachel Zoe. Lastly, it seems the President went shirtless in Hawaii, playing football. I do NOT want to see Daddy without clothes. Please get that shirt back on, POTUS.

More Proof that Celebrity Heteros Shouldn't Marry!

Golden voiced Sinead O'Connor ended her marriage after 18 days. I couldn't understand her reasoning but here's the gist: Husband freaked out, wedding night search for maryjane wound up hurting them deeply, people around them were haters, they rushed into marriage and are now rushing out of it. Kim is off the hook! To be fair, Sinead is truly ill upstairs--and she knows it--and at least has the wherewithall not to screw her public into watching a televised marriage. At least Sinead didn't marry every five minutes either. She spaced them out within 10 years of each other (except for these last two).

The most exciting part of this Christmas was discovering that Nora Walker and Dishmama live practically next-door to each other, which means Dish could *easily* run into her in the elevator. I will make it so. I need a cup of sugar from the Flying Nun.

Sad condolences to friends, fans and family of Clare Veronica Walsh, a goddess spin instructor, who died at the far-too-young age of 22 and SNL writer Joe Bodolai, who left this earth by his own design. Blessings on their coming and going.