Today's Celebrity: The Supreme Court

I'm throwing a pound of glitter to celebrate those fab five who killed the Defense of Marriage Act. Let's hope that floods of people will benefit and heal. Let the federally-approved marriages begin and please invite me to them.

It's hard to believe the Weiner rises again. In a new poll, Anthony W. is leading the pack of dems running for mayor of NYC. I told ya--we always forgive male sexual misconduct in this country (Hugh Grant, Mike Tyson, Bill Clinton, that South Carolina congressman whose name I can't remember, etc...). I'm so disgusted I may not vote. Convince me otherwise.

Putin and Obama may need to get out the rulers as they trade grrrrrs over Russia's keeping Snowden. Someone pointed out to me that we would have no problem housing a Russian Snowden and saying screw you to Putin. How will this end? Let's just have vodka and a Big Mac!

Did you see Paula Deen on the Today show? Matt is known for his probing questions and I don't think Deen should have done the interview. I'm sure it was genuine, but when you're fragile, don't be on TV. There is so much drama on television already and we've seen it all. Any real fragility comes off as fake or odd. It was difficult to watch. Not sure it will stop the bleeding either--though news reports that her businesses are booming.

But yay, DOMA dies!

The Geezers Are Having a Hard Time!

Poor Paula Deen. Poor Bruce Jenner. Someone has to preach the deliciousness of fatty food. So why is Anthony Bourdain condemning her? Maybe he's in love with her. Even though she gave herself Diabetes, she is adorable and America loves her. Are we all supposed to eat steamed vegetables and fish seared in water? I may be pre-Diabetic myself but I'd like the occasional opportunity to fry my food in butter then throw it in a vat of sugar then powder it with some spiced melatonin, while listening to Duran Duran. We might as well burn all of Julia Child's books, too. As for Bruce Jenner having a touch of skin cancer, I wish the poor guy luck. He has enough on his plate of smoked salmon and celery stalks with nothing on them.

The Bachelor--Blow by Precious Blow. Dish was on Team Kacie B--who looked the best in a bikini--but given Ben's nerdlike ways (the Keanu makeover does NOT cover up this Pointdexter) I'd choose the Ph.D scientist who went up the bridge and conquered her fear of heights. Their phobia-facing kiss warmed my cockles as true fake TV love blossomed in the highest! How sad that one girl felt so conflicted about herself that she left, but in true Bachelor fashion, you have to sweep off the crazies, the tormented and the uggos who didn't belong in the first place. I felt terrible for the swooning girl--that would have been Dish from lack of sleep, nourishment, proximity to future reality celebrities--but no guy likes such antics. Pointdexter didn't seem to react either, which means he won't be visiting you in the hospital unless you're almost totally recovered. So glad he kicked off Morticia, though her storming in was incredibly contrived and the girls did a poor job of acting outraged. Double-lame. Yes, I'll watch next week.

A Crazy Day for Female Celebrities! Dish Is Here for Amateur Counseling!

So, Sinead O'Connor ended her marriage AGAIN, blaming the evil media (though, she is media herself). What's a quirky, wildly-talented middle-aged babe to do? She sought a man for sexcapades and affection. A man stepped up--a drug counselor, no less--and it still didn't work. If their marriage can't last, what hope do the rest of us have?

Our favorite cute blond from the 80s and 90s (she could skip the last decade) Heather Locklear mixed Rx and booze, winding up in the hospital. I love her. I don't want her to be sick. She needs to be on TV. Aside from the substance abuse, why isn't her phone ringing?

My favorite celebri-cook Paula Deen announced that she has the diabooties, a lesson for us to work out and watch that sugar. Dish is a little pre-diabetic and thin-nish so we're all at risk. Let's end this epidemic and eat good!

It shouldn't be a surprise: Anderson Cooper's talk show is dead to me. Not only is our episode probably never airing thereby holding the Dish/TG celebrity hostage, but he's doing a show on toddlers and bikini waxing. I draw the line.