Baby, baby, baby

Such a fertile year, 2011. Tina Fey just announced on Oprah that she's got a funny bun in the oven. Then, Marishka Hargitay and her husband Peter Hermann just adopted their lovely baby, Amaya Josephine. Wonder what her last name will be--Hargitay-Hermann? Amaya Josephine Hargitay Hermann. Sounds like a song. Can TG write it?

Weiners

Boring Reichen from The A-List was caught showing off his ding-dong on a webcam. GROSS! And now it's everywhere. That's no way to keep your star bright, unless you want a career in the gutter.

Charlie Sheen apparently killed in his Cleveland show. But you know, Dish lived in Cleveland and it's a seedy, messed-up town. Just Charlie's speed.

I did some investigating and was crushed to learn no Jennifer Aniston moving into my relative's building. Possibly Glenn Close, Alec Baldwin or Katie Couric. Alec Baldwin was super-nice and chatty.

Shedding tears (of joy!) that Glenn Beck's Fox show ending (due to low ratings). Now he won't be misusing the term "Progressive" anymore.

This is the funniest damn thing, especially if you love Helen Mirren and you watched When Harry Met Sally... over and over again like Dish did circa 1989, then 1993: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0247468f28/when-harry-met-sally-2-with-billy-crystal-helen-mirren.

And if you kind of love Sarah Silverman every now and then: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqSwUoP1NK0.

Meredith Viera Leaving The Today Show?

But...but...she's a delight. Not that I watch The Today Show anymore since it doesn't carry any kind of news. Wonder if Meredith and Katie will go out for drinks to celebrate.

FYI--No one is watching Desperate Housewives anymore. Why? No hot sex. Anywhere.

Angelina has a seventh tattoo denoting Algeria on her list of kids. Baby #7? (Update: It's supposed to be Brad).

Hot in Death

Dish went to school with someone who's all over TMZ right now for doing something bad. Won't say who it is. But it's TERRIBLE.

Katie Couric is leaving her anchor spot at CBS and the rumor is that she'll be replaced by Scott Pelley. Thank God it's a man. I like my serious journalism delivered by an XY.

Motley Crue singer Vince Neil was charged with domestic violence for poking people with his finger. You might laugh but a well placed stiletto does more harm than a thick heel. Dish knows these things.

Dish review of Body of Proof: Dana Delaney plays a middle-aged-medical-yet-injured-workaholic-terror babe (female House), but I'd totally have coffee with her. Chemistry with hunky blond Simon Baker clone partner, which has never been done before! Dana's sleek hair brushes against corpse during sexy autopsy--so 19th century French though with woman as power-straddler over beautiful death. Now there's something for network news. Entertaining overall but BS.

Sleepless in New York

Desperate Housewives: Dishbrothersidekick and I moaned about wanting Teri Hatcher to die on the show but thanks to Paul Young doing an about-face and crying like a girl, she'll get the freaking kidney and continue to revile us all! She's ruined my life now three times. Has anyone seen the new Dana Delaney show?

When I heard about Snooki making 32K for spilling out of her dress, I thought, "How pathetic is Rutgers University?" Students must pay a mandatory fee for someone who is--yes, kind of adorable--but completely without talent? I then did a mental survey of famous people and so many lack talent. The administration of Rutgers should be ashamed. Maybe they'll bring in Charlie Sheen.

Dish suffers from vicious insomnia. It started when I hit double-digits, keeping one eye open in case a villain came to stab me in the night. At 35, like this was a magic age, I'd go three nights without more than 2 hours of sleep. I know when I wake up crying, I need to stop the world for a day. Usually on that day, something will buoy my spirits. Like today, I walked into the West Side Market and heard Duran Duran's "Save a Prayer" over the loudspeaker. God has spoken. Maybe tonight I'll sleep...

Where did the weekend go?

The big news is how Charlie Sheen bombed in Detroit. The TMZ blow-by-blow in Chicago doesn't sound much better. Dish knew all along this effort would fail. The problem is that Charlie isn't looking to entertain the masses. If so, he would have prepared a festival of delights to make people cheer and laugh. Charlie is in it to soak up the adoration he is sure exists. If he watched his webcasts, he would see how lame and boring they are. Refund the $$$, Charlie, or donate it to a worthier cause.

On a happy note, here is Duran Duran on Jimmy Fallon. Not literally on them, though now I have a perverted picture in my head: http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/video/Duran-Duran:-Hungry-Like-The-Wolf-%283/31/11%29/1317233.

Mr. Coulson Gets Married

Right now, Duran Duran must be finishing their show at Foxwoods. HELL! What did Dish do? Emptied boxes. Oh and was filmed to be on a wedding related website because not only are Dish and TG gorgeous, but the love story is beyond phenomenal. Poor TG didn't get to speak because I yapped my face off. Poor TG.

In 1999, if you knew Dish and most women in America who'd seen Never Been Kissed, Michael Vartan was the reason for many heavy sighs. That last kiss with Drew Barrymore...well, it still gives me goosebumps. I won't add that in 1999, I hadn't been on a date in almost three years (ExBF8 had left a nasty scar--now is a shrink in NYC, BEWARE!). Long story long, I adored Michael Vartan...until I realized he reminded me of Sniffles (ExBF4). I knew that if Michael and I had dated, I would have grown out of him within six months. After this epiphany, I instantly fell out of love for him. A moot point since I adore TG and Michael just got hitched today! Congratulations to the Vartans!

Charlie Sheen is probably done with his show in Detroit. Wonder what in blazes he yakked about for 75 minutes. Here's a performance:

So Many Stars, So Many Superior Genes Reproducing

Moving Day 2: Dish made a big stink about packing up everything but, as it turns out, TG did all the hauling. Oh, and Dishmama was our savior, carrying far more than she should have and whipping us into shape, then feeding us. How did I get so lucky? Except with Time Warner who won't give me a signal/cable/phone for the next five days. Grrrr. Well, Dish can always find a signal. Just no Desperate Housewives, B&S, and Nurse Jackie and Glee. F*CK!

Congratulations to Bones, who is carrying her first child. I almost think this celebrity-baby epidemic has to do with the apocalypse in 2012. We need the best and the most good looking to carry on.

A gush of love for Elton John who was charming on Jimmy Fallon's show.