Heartthrobs

Thanks to VH1, Dish is reliving the 80s after a day of walking around New Mexico. One funny note: I was reminded of the Shaun Cassidy craze. I thought he was hideous. All my friends had pinups of him in their lockers and I had to avert my gaze. Another 80s phenomenon was Kristy McNichol and I'll admit, she was my first girl crush. I wanted to be her friend, well, be her. My parents wouldn't let me stay up to watch "Family," and I hated them for it. Who knew then that Netflix would come thirty years later?

No Crash Diets

Dish is going through her usual pre-flight meltdown. I hate, hate, hate going anywhere but have been flying since I'm in the womb. This time, I'm bringing a portable DVD player and endless episodes of Will & Grace.

Since I may die in a mid-air collision tomorrow, I'll admit this: I like Denise Richards. I always have. She beguiled me first in that bland TV movie I Do, But I Don't. Then I watched her in that Neve Campbell, Kevin Bacon menage flick. Charlie Sheen also amuses me but only on screen. So last night, I caught reruns and the finale of Denise Richards: It's Complicated. It isn't complicated at all. She goes from one event to the next, eating scones, talking about how fat she is (I do the same thing), and she's afraid of flying as much as I am. Her distinctive laugh makes me laugh. I don't believe her hatred for the paps at all, or her sudden need to set the record straight (it's far more dignified to do it by deed than reality show, c'mon). Oh well, I still like her and support the expansion of her body mass. She could be like Belinda Carlisle in the 80s, pudgy and cute--always so much thinner than Dish.

TJ Rules!

I'm in love with Thomas Jefferson. He's not so cute on a 2$ bill. I'd also heard he had red hair, which does nothing for me. And yet on John Adams, Stephen Dillane's TJ is hotter than all those dead white men put together. Compared to John Adams, who can't shut his piehole, Tom is mute and gives us time to savor his smoldering brown eyes. TJ also loves France. Any country that reveres its pastries gets my vote. My only obstacle: I'm fighting visions of Nick Nolte (OMP) as the founding stud in Jefferson in Paris.

In addition to TJ, Dish is obsessed with Liz Tuccillo's How to Be Single. I'd thought the real star of He's Just Not That Into You was Greg Behrendt (who was great doing standup in NYC a few months ago), but now that I'm reading LT's book, I see she's a skilled storyteller and I'm eating up this chicky tome.

Indirect Star Sighting

Dish insider (and ex-BF10, though was never a real BF, yet his accent, love of felines and ABBA can be charming) reported that Alan Cummings carried a Chiwawa at his boyfriend's art opening on Forsythe Street last night. Suppositorily, he and his beau live near ex-BF10 so additional reportings are forthcoming. This excites me because AC is a sexy beast. Ex-BF10 also saw Dianne Wiest and said he "liked the look of her," that she was a woman who "answered to no one." Would it have killed ex-BF10 to take me instead of a date who'd put out? My joy at seeing Dianne and Alan C. would surpass ex-BF10's ecstasy over getting serviced.

My insider reported, too, that he once worked on a commercial with Tom Wilkinson way before The Full Monty. I asked, "Did Tom do anything weird?" No, Tom was exceedingly polite and nice to everyone, but he wore a nasty scarf.

Voice from the Past

I toiled over a Sudoku when my ear caught a familiar song. Two voices as one. It was: Barbra Streisand and Don Johnson's "Till I Loved You."

He was so cute then (cocaine) and, illegibly, they were an item. But my question: isn't it awkward to sing "I love you" in a song when you're kinda just having sex? Or does one ever just have sex with Barbra? Loving her is a given. I usually save the "I love you" for when the flu hits and I'm deluded enough to think nice words have a positive outcome. Babs does giggle at the end of the song, which could mean she's just kidding.

More importantly: Poor Don chose to start a singing career at his peak, much like Bruce Willis, Eddie Murphy, Patrick Swayze (better), and Al Pacino (just kidding--it's my fantasy).

Hmmmmm

Headbands can make your hair hang so perfectly sometimes...

Clash of the Blonds

What makes me laugh: that Rock of Love is having its third season. Poor Brett Michaels, the mayor of skankopolis. His peak was two decades ago (just like Dish's). It's so funny to keep rehashing on yesterday's fame. Kinda like Dish's preposterous re-entry into dating, after 25 years of failure. I feel you, Brett. And I'm with you on being all about objectification. If he's not pretty, gay, obsessed with me, who cares?

Oops. Gotta go: The Closer starts in one minute. I have a warm fuzzy feeling after my birthday surprise last week. My one suggestion: Wouldn't it be interesting if Fritz had a high maintenance moment and, for once, Brenda picked up the pieces? Maybe Fritz buys some Chivas (like Dish just did!) and has one bad thing happen after another. Maybe he cries...

Miranda Hobbs Haiku

Cyn, you so pretty

Why red snapper on the show?

Bad, bad hairdresser

Dish watch too much Sex!

Eating cashews, tummy ache

Cyn, why you squawking?

Miranda smartest

Work hard, lawyer, yell at men!

But that Beeker hair...