Happy Birthday to Dishmama!

Today is Dishmama's birthday. We celebrate the day she shot out of my gramma, all a-squirming and a-screaming. ?? years later, Dishmama is famous in her field, gorgeous, throws the best parties and is the most elegant person in the room. All hail The Queen!!!

In celeb news: Illegibly, some followers of that dead icon have committed suicide, like 12. This is the height of ridiculousness. I'm not even that obsessed with celebs, though when Donny Osmond got married, I did spend several days crying as I inhaled hostess cupcakes and chocolate popsicles. Like he was going to fall in love with a porky butterball freckled eight-year-old. Seriously, though, if you're that hooked on a star, a life needs to be gotten by you (though I understand and can Life Coach anyone through withdrawal).

Rare Dish

Dishmama is in pain over Billy Mays's death so let's have a moment of silence. He's the Oxyclean guy and so skilled I did buy a bucket. Sadly, it didn't get out the cartons of Chinese food I've spilled over all my clothes. Even now, I have his voice in my head. Blessings on his coming and going.
So I made a vow not to leave my place ever again unless in full hair and makeup. JJ says that with age, one needs more time for beauty maintenance. To keep me out of the Ugly Club, if you see me in lame glasses and pajamas on the streets, you must stop me and order me to go back and rethink (exception: the gym but I still must wear lipstick). I wore heels today. By midafternoon, I wondered if I needed to wear them to walk down the hall to get more coffee. Dish could get away with sneaks, right? Wrong, I kept those toe mangling puppies on and stumbled to the coffee machine.

Dish Condemns the Netflix Watch Instantly Option

In the vein of discovering things long after the fact, I'm now addicted to Swingtown. You will lose an entire weekend to this show. My new girl crush is "Trina" aka Lana Parrilla, the easy breezy swinging wife of a porn-stachioed Grant Show. She always says the right thing, wears groovy clothes and loosens up her constipated neighbors (i.e. slipping pot into someone's brownie batter). She and I have the same birthday--yes, I obsessively checked out her stats on IMDB-- which means we're identical except for many many many differences (clothes, hair, eyes, Dish is 9 years older and about twenty pounds fatter but without being fat). The combination of Lana and Grant is like watching your favorite movies with martinis, lattes, French toast and ice cream while it's raining outside. I'm so pissed I watched 10 episodes because now there are only 3 left.

Other news: The celebs are dropping like flies!!!

Better Than Blue Eyes

One of my favorite moments in a film--the opening Cary Grant scene of Notorious which starts in a few minutes on TCM. Even with the butt in his chin and the fact that he's deader than a doornail, Cary Grant gives me goosebumps.

Speaking of Cary Grant, Gay Pride is tomorrow! Enjoy!

Blue Eyes

I'm working but in the background is What Women Want, where Mel Gibson pretends he's Fred Astaire while listening to Frank Sinatra. Why do people always mention Sinatra in romantic comedies? Everyone loves Frank. I don't get Frank. He's not the greatest singer. He wasn't hot (maybe a little when he was young but barely). Maybe it's the same as the Justin Timberlake mystique. Justin's voice doesn't come from God and he's kinda hideous but something about him sparkles. My ex-hairstylist used to cut Sinatra's hair. He said he didn't have much to work with.

Dish has gallons of hair. Just ask JJ who eyerolled and cursed through the process of shearing my mane today. I enjoy his abuse because it's how he shows love. Afterwards, I had pics taken. I'm no Justin Timberlake but I looked so pretty I had to take myself out to dinner.

Rules for Dating a Rock Star (or Anyone)

If you watched last night's Samantha Who? you witnessed the height of stupidity. Christina Applegate had the PERFECT chance to make out with/sleep with/marry John Taylor and she blew it by expressing her love for him. Even Dish, who almost barfed on Jon Tenney twice, knows you never ever show interest in a celebrity--at least not to their faces. They hate gushing (especially of the vomitatious kind on their tassled loafers). If Christina had really wanted to succeed, she would have shown revulsion--though with John Taylor, it would have taken SEVERE acting chops, meds and hypnosis. Well, that's what Dish would need, along with an ice pack for the bump on my head after I fainted.

Death, Drugs and Rock & Roll

It's very sad when celebs are surrounded by slime, as Michael Jackson and Anna Nicole Smith (and Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Kurt Cobain and the list is endless) were. How many deaths didn't have to happen? If you see someone going downhill, why not forklift them into rehab? That is too logical, of course. His epic death reminds me of Diana's though she just had bulimia and fame-whorishness (who doesn't?). Given the numerous child abuse allegations and body dysmorphic disorder, I find it difficult to celebrate Michael Jackson the man, though his genius cannot be disputed and I like remembering him in his "Thriller" video--an eerie foreshadowing of his face changes. Someone so heavily medicated is to be pitied and MJ is now where he must have wanted to go. You can only do so much. The thing that makes me ralph are all the lame-asses who come out of the woodwork claiming to be his closest friend or expert on his condition. The uncle of the hairdresser of Michael's weedwhacker knew all along he was going downhill. Everyone knew. Why didn't someone stop him?

I guess you can't. On a much tinier scale, Dish's first love Exbf2 was a drunk, one of those glamorous sexy alkies as in Eddie and the Cruisers. He talked about suicide, even wrote me letters about how he wanted to shoot himself. I dragged him to AA, screamed at his friends to take his problem seriously, even took him to the hospital. Finally, I had to save myself. I learned a few years ago that he'd shot himself. So many have a story like this. Some people really want to go and nothing stops the downward spiral, not even a forklift.

I wish MJ peace, his children a good life and that's all about him.

Goodbye to the Michael I Used to Love

So sad all around--sad life, sad person, GREAT music. Rest in peace for once, MJ.

(though CNN is reporting that he's in a coma, everywhere else that he died)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En-cHBv7UpA&feature=channel