Boys Who Wear Dresses?

Peter Fonda found a dead body, according to TMZ. This doesn't surprise me in the least.

We *are* going to be online in the vows section of The New York Times...that is, if we're interesting enough on film (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gudEttJlw3s&feature=related). Possibly, too, the Sunday paper. I'll let you guess which ones Dish and TG are.

Charlie Sheen didn't show up for work because of an ear infection. You know, those things suck. Poor Nick Rhodes was sidelined during a tour because of an ear problem. I can relate!

Camille Grammer implied to Howard Stern that Kelsey Grammer is a cross-dresser. It's hard to believe any scorned ex but I did see Frasier for a decade. Not a stretch that Kelsey would wear a bustier in private. And why shouldn't he? Former Governor Giuliani dressed in drag as much as he could and made sure the cameras caught it. Girls clothes are awesome, morning, noon and night.

Countdown to Matrimony: Wedding Movie #26

Monsoon Wedding: India knows how to rock a wedding. This is a lovely, feel-good movie about an arranged marriage--full of color, texture, family angst and overall joy. I've always thought arranged marriages were reasonable and why not celebrate a practical partnership? Not that I'd ever go out with someone my parents picked out. Okay, never mind. The girl in this movie gets matched with a hottie, and she's a hottie, which makes everything better. The humor will titillate you, unlike most romantic comedies. There is no subtlety, wit or complexity in the American romantic comedy of the last 20 years (I'm sure there are exceptions). At the same time, I felt so glad my wedding would only last six hours rather than three days, as in India. Perhaps even longer.

Lots of Star Fertilization!

Jewel, Owen Wilson's babymama and Marion Cotillard are PREGNANTS! It makes Dish happy that so much beauty will multiply. Though often, two beauties make an ugly child. You really need one beauty in a couple--which is how Dish was born stunning.

Speaking of stunning, Michael Douglas's tumor is gone. He did to that tumor what his character in Fatal Attraction tried to do to Glenn Close in the bathtube. Oh...maybe that's a cute one TG and I can watch before our wedding.

Because of my wedding, I excuse myself for all kinds of retail therapy (Zappo's) and desperate acts, such as movies On Demand, makeup and delicious takeout from Mary Ann's. I bought a Star Magazine, where I flipped through the section on stars without makeup. All the stars are lovely without makeup...except Tori.

Countdown to Matrimony: Wedding Movie #25

A Wedding (1978): I try to watch a Robert Altman movie every few years. You have to be in the mood for a meandering tale containing colorful characters--some heartwarming, some awful but all achingly flawed--and next to no plot. This flick details a high society wedding from beginning to end with death, infidelity, interracial romance, torrid romance, secrets, greed, vanity. The cast includes such delights as Lillian Gish, Desi Arnaz, Jr., Mia Farrow, Lauren Hutton, Carol Burnett, and Geraldine Chaplin. Just imagine Dish's wedding x 100. There is hope for mayhem at my nuptials (given how often the wine glasses are filled). Altman has wedding drama down.

Monday, Thou Art More Lovely...

Monday is my favorite day. You get to begin anew and re-immerse yourself in structure. Next Monday will be the first full day of my married life. On Monday, I'm organized. By Friday, I'm scattered and tired.

So here is my list:

Janet Jackson is going on tour. I envision so much gay energy surrounding this, I must attend. I love watching her dance and lip-sync!

Nikki Sixx and Denise Richards have broken up. 2011 is off to a good start. Also for Ryan Reynold and Sandra Bullock who will now receive even more relentless paparazzi attention (take that, Jesse James!). Despite Sandy's denial, they've been caught visiting each other in Wyoming.

In a chiseled and sexually confused Men's Health poll (http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/sex-survey-and-tips-better-sex), women in their 40s are more likely to sleep with man on the first date than in their 20s. Um...okay. I was supposed to wait till my 40s?

The ongoing Spitzer/Parker drama continues with rumors that Parker will leave at any second. No woman can sit next to him. Spitzer is a scenery chewer and no one but himself will do.

Today's blind items in the Post are KILLING ME. http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/just_asking_n1ap18Gu9NJCb2uq4LgkxH The answers are on the tip of my tongue. If you have any insight, please share.

Sigh. http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/encounter/70436/ More Duran Duran frustration with the knowledge that they were in the city and I didn't see them once. Except for when right before 2008 Central Park concert, Simon came out of the trailer right in front of me and I nearly had a fainting event (but had a panic attack--of happiness--instead).

Countdown to Matrimony: Wedding Movie #24

The Groomsmen: I have a vague recollection of seeing this and hating it. Saw it again and still think it's dreadful. She's The One is adorable but I've given up on Edward Burns as a screenwriter. So many of Burns's archetypes: the screwup, the loving father/husband, the straight man (Burns), the long-suffering spouse who puts up with the infantile husband...and someone named Pauly. I felt sad watching sweet Brittany Murphy (playing the long-suffering pregnant bride). Edward Burns is so much more effective as an actor where someone else can control his pacing. I'd say, give him an action movie. Skip the sensitive psyche-exploration-and-let's-visit-the-old-neighborhood roles.

Popping Them Out!

It must be a slow news day...or not as Posh Spice finds herself pregnant with Baby Beckham #4. I don't know about you but I'm fantasizing that she hired a surrogate--implanted egg/sperm--and will stuff pillows under her dress until birth. Posh gain weight? Impossible!

So one week (aka same day as Golden Globes) till I become Mrs. TG. The New York Times is coming to film our story. Maybe Lifetime will pick it up. Molly Ringwald will play Dish.

Countdown to Matrimony: Wedding Movie #23

Bride Wars: I first saw this with DishBrother and DishBrotherSideKick in 2009. It's a delight but makes no sense. Candace Bergen should have pushed the other bride into the competing slot since she came in second. Also, real friends wouldn't treat each other so shabbily. The actresses were fun together. Dish has long been an ardent fan of Kate Hudson though her bangs are atrocious. That smile--pure sunshine!

One thing I learned: The bridal nerves are universal. I'm just glad that for now I feel great and I'm so lucky!