Happy Hell-oween!

Halloween = Dish's fave holiday next to New Year's Eve but Dish is working tonight. All night. Some relief came in scarfing three mini-Snickers (food of Satan) and a buttload of Peanut M&Ms, then salivating over Stephen Colbert (also food of Satan).

I would report that I love Iron Man but haven't finished the flick yet. Tomorrow fer-sher. For now, I'm focusing on another superhero--aka "Superman," who might become BF18 if I can stop working. Super asked if I wanted to adopt a baby from Africa with him. He's going there on business, why not pick up a kid like Angelina? Merging our aesthetically pleasing gene pools would ensure a hideous child so why bother? Great idea.

Note to self: when a suitor brings up commitment first, it means later he'll blame silent Dish for trying to pressure him into marriage. No exceptions.

Big News!

Dish has little to say except Joaquin Phoenix announced he's quitting acting. I'd like to announce: I've sprouted itchy feathers from my butt. Also, I'd like to announce, I'll need to pee in the next ten minutes and when I grow up, I want to be a fireman and the tooth fairy and doesn't everyone have two careers and doesn't SOMEONE want to try again for an Oscar after not winning it for Walk the Line or Gladiator? Why announce you're quitting? Why not just do it? That's how I quit smoking (until P!nk makes me start again). Oh well, I do still love Joaquin's acting and am tired of actors who go the music route (Billy Bob Thornton, Steven Seagal, Bruce Willis, Eddie Murphy, Russell Crowe, Keanu Reeves, Johnny Depp, Don Johnson, oh the list goes on forever!)

I'd Switch Sides For Her But It Might Make Me Start Smoking Again

P!nk has a new single out, So What. Her lyrics make me want to get a tattoo (maybe a stick-on). In her last couple albums she's tackled the silliness of celebrity and our current administration. Accompanying vids are hilarious and hit below the belt (in a good way). I would kill for her to play Janis Joplin but she says on The View that project isn't happening.

Long Live P!nk!

Huntington Learning Center

It kills me when that little redhead grabs her hair as she shouts, "Face it, I'm not getting into college!" When enraged (and redheads usually are with their stereotypical fiery tempers!), I always grab my hair. The sad thing, I've seen this commercial for the last 12 years I've been in NYC. Maybe it's one of those traditions? "I said I'd do better." "Saying it and doing it are two different things." "Maybe he'll outgrow it."

I just wanna say, "Face it, I'm a freaking idiot!", while pointing to my brains.

Beacon of Hope

Dish hates nothing more than the holidays (maybe pickled beets). The one bright light: Melrose Place might return! But please, don't let them screw it up with plastic wannabes that end all their sentences with question marks? I want the old 'tards from the show, like Grant Show, Josie Bissette, Daphne Zuniga, Billy, Heather Locklear, evil scheming Michael, and Courney Thorne-Smith! That may be too much to hope for...

Just watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4M5b8gvcp0&feature=related

You know you want it back.

Julia Haiku

Julia birthday!
Party crash, voulez-vous?
Cake it up, Pretty!

Laugh and teeth so big
Brown eyes dancing in the sun
Socially conscious

You’re forty-one now
Soon Clooney Pitt and Cruise age
All older than Dish

Happy birthday, Julia!

2008 is almost over--TGI2009?

With Jennifer Hudson's tragedies, the bad economy, celebrity DUIs, many divorces, f*ckface's motorcycle crash, the annoyingly long election, Heath Ledger's freaky death and other awful occurrences, this year has been mostly stinkola. Let's get through these last two months even if we have to crawl. I'm using every weapon I've got.

Another Gale Harold Dream

I'm lucky to dream about celebrities often. Even luckier to have GH grace my R.E.M. brain waves twice in one year. It happened because I fell asleep to an episode of QAF, the one where Brian loses money from the reopening of Babylon. In my dream: I'm walking around Soho, carrying my cellphone (two things I never do). GH calls me (for no reason) and we yak for about an hour as I'm walking. Fully recovered, he's in Russia, hanging out with his girlfriend Valerie (bitch!) and a guy friend. They're in Leningrad (!). We agree that we enjoy working during the summer when everyone's on vacation. We both just had birthdays in July.

I wake up a zombie then tried to recapture the impossible dream but the subconscious drifted to Kelly Ripa instead. Though that's always nice too...

Update: A dream expert informed Dish this nocturne-sojourn has nothing to do with Gale but everything to do with my dead First Love (who bore a striking resemblance to the actor, was very into Russia, and took Dish for frightening rides on his Yamaha in Ohio--NEVER AGAIN!). RIP, BK.