T-Day Eve

Dish feels like death warmed over. The treadmill made the head pound worse. The Rx: I pray baking helps, along with a double decaf espresso to knock out the throbbing. In the words of Carly Simon, "I haven't got time for the pain."

But what do I know about pain? Jennifer Jason Crazy and Noah Baumbach are divorcing. The first red flag for Dish was his directing his wife to poop in her pants in Margot at the Wedding. Still not over it, though applaud later-in-life marriages (wink wink).

Welcome to the new Travolta, Baby Benjamin.

Happy Day Before Thanksgiving!

My Endless Love

Two British hearts beat as one starting on April 29, 2011. Dammit, I'm not missing another royal wedding. I have Kate/Wills fever along with the rest of the world. Consider Dish in front of the television from dusk to dawn!

From dawn to yawn, Gabriel Aubry seems to be dating Kim Kardashian. Such a step down in many ways though Kim is in the spotlight than Halle. Then again, Halle has a hotter boyfriend and her Oscar, which are both better rewards.

In other news, Kelsey Grammer allegedly tried to keep his 6.5 million $ love shack from his ex Camille, the one who gave the best years of her life (though not bad to live in a mansion and have icky husband gone most of the time). Now, if only I didn't love Kelsey so much as Frasier!

Beauty and the Beauty

Devastating but understandable: Kate Winslet split with hot model boyfriend. This kind of news makes me cry because they were so beautiful together. It's inevitable that she'll rebound with someone less hot, as she's done before. We've all done it. Held Adonis in our hands until he transformed into Narcissus and couldn't stop staring at himself in the lake. Who's left but Hephaestus, the lame blacksmith of the gods--though he did marry Aphrodite. She gets all the guys!

Some good evidence that Jessica Simpson might be preggers. Purse held close to belly, sudden pullout of interview, telling Harry Smith he wouldn't want to smell her breath right then. It's about time we had another Simpson in the world. Maybe she's preggers before Vanessa Minillo but not before Pink--a total coup.

In more important news: Dish is veering toward vegetarianism and no-gluten, though this could fade with Thanksgiving and the lure of Portuguese rolls--not to mention my best friend: Cake.

Pas de DH mais AMAs Instead

Le weekend était trop short, though très enjoyable! TG and moi, nous avons watchay le depressing film Germinal, qui starre Miou Miou (dis-ca en voix de kitty!) et le super-fatte Gerard Depardieu. Mon nouvelle line favorite est: Le café est watery, mais we still like it! Le stormy weather d'Emile Zola's sick-twisted imagination: travaille dans les mines, pas de food mais have 7 kids parce que nous ne pouvons pas arrêter de bumper les uglies, le beg et le plead pour money, le boinking dans la forest pour acquire de nouvel red ribbon--merveilleux juxtaposition avec le noir dans le world, la mort et tragédie. Quoi next? Shoot le chien? C'est le magique de Zola. Tout est suckant.

Autres nouvelles: Lindsay Lohan ne fais pas le film de l'actresse de Deep Throat. Sacré bleu! Could anything etre plus upsetting? Oui, que Les Housewives Desespérées n'est pas à la télé.

Star Sighting--Fred Schneider

2:45pm at Chelsea dry cleaner's. Just thought I'd drop in before the place closed and saw that the man in front of me wore one yellow sneaker and one black. Had to be Fred Schneider of the B-52s! In profile, I received confirmation. He is in fine shape and gave me a pitying look as he left with his clothes (which had a different name attached though did some investigation on this and found connection). Okay, so Dish did not have makeup on and hair in disarray. Not EVERYONE is as amazing as Fred!!!

Remastered Duran Duran

I'll stop mentioning them once their new album "drops" and I have concert tickets in my hot little hands. Just finished watching the excellent Behind the Music: Remastered on VH1 Classics. So good to see them again. Out of breath.

Other news: Wesley Snipes is going to prison for not paying taxes. After seeing his masterful fighting in the Blade series, he's one of the few celebrities who could last in prison besides, well, Gary Busey, Jackie Chan, Steve Buscemi and maybe Willem Dafoe. Without the karate strength, you gotta pull out the crazy. Though I wonder if he'll get razzed for To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything... He killed!

Dish wonders maliciously and vindictively how Ryan Reynolds is People's Sexiest Man Alive? I enjoy him very much but find sexiness lacking.

Star Sighting--Linus Roache

6:30 pm, walking suspiciously close to Dish's apartment: Ever-scrumptious Linus Roache seemed anxious to get somewhere. Wearing a stylish leather jacket and requisite for-reading-only celebrity glasses, he darted past me without so much as a quick hello. Maybe it was my magical red Duran Duran bag, though in my book, it's a selling tool.

Do You Have Your Alarm Clock Set for Duran Duran?

They will be on The Today Show tomorrow between 7-9am, most likely promoting their latest album: "All You Need Is Now"--which will bring them up more frequently in Google searches for The Beatles "All You Need Is Love." Excellent strategizing, boys! With new album, a tour is sure to follow. Getting palpitations already...

Gwyneth Paltrow: I enjoy her when she's being funny and have wanted her to sing more since her touching performance in Duets. For those who haven't seen this week's Glee, she's comedy in motion but fast-forward to the last four minutes--unless you love Jane Lynch, which Dish does.