No Dedication to Jane

It's trendy to be mean online without a voice or face, and I don't want to automatically criticize, but I will anyway: I really hated the two movies I watched this week. What I hated most was that the movies starred actors I respect. I still respect them for choosing to be in these movies.

First, Dedication. Billy Crudup is talented but can't he do something light, where he's not a protagonist on the edge? I can tell when he's about to say something heavy when his eyes dart to the side. Ah, the actor tricks: the Russell Crowe forehead scratch, Tom Cruise eye flicker, Malkovich monotone, Diane Keaton shriek, Julia Roberts voice modulation to the point where I catch myself mimicking her. In any case, Dedication seemed to be filmed all in navy, which instantly said "this will depress you to pieces." Tom Wilkinson = always a pleasure to watch, Crudup = had moments, Mandy Moore = enjoyable and I'm intrigued by her movie choices. The story slows the instant after Moore and Crudup hook up while looking at the stars -- because somehow, she penetrated his rough exterior cos she's so kewl! He, of course, flakes out because he's such a quirky children's book writer, realizes his mistake and goes after her. Guess what happens next?

The lesson learned from Becoming Jane is: being a woman sucks! Also, you have to be an upstart to acquire fame. You must wake your family up by playing a vivacious piano piece in the morning, be a hot mama with lots of men proposing to you and go for the irresponsible turd who insults you. Insults = True Love! Because you're so noble and probably never crack a fart--not even for revenge against your siblings -- you ditch the turd for the world's betterment and wither away as you spread your gift to the world. Second moral of the story: You can either write or get laid, but not both. Such as it were and blessed be.