I'm Not Sure What I'm Doing Here

Four cookies later, I read that Jennifer Beals is a runner. Dishbrother was an extra in a movie of hers and says she is gorge-tastic in person: http://www.runnersworld.com/articlehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif/0,7120,s6-243-544--13135-F,00.html?cm_mmc=Facebook-_-RunnersWorld-_-Content-Motivation-_-JenniferBealsImARunner. To Dish, she will always be the Alpha-goddess Bette from The L Word. Which reminds me, Jane Lynch was in that. Definitely need a mood booster tonight.

That North Korean dictator died of a heart attack--go figure, natural causes, I guess it could happen to anyone. In the same breath, Judy Greer, i.e. the bridesmaid but never a bride in romantic comedies, got married over the weekend. In The Wedding Planner, there's a scene where, I swear, unwashed Matthew McConaughey seems turned on by Greer and I love that.

NYU professor Jose Angel Santana claims that he got fired for giving James Franco a bad grade. I used to love Franco but he's saturated the market with his Renaissance Man ways. His crappy Oscar hosting proved he's spread too thin. I could have done a better job hosting.

Chaz Bono and Jennifer Elia are over. They seemed like a mess of a couple but--sheesh--dealing with some major shizzola. I'd probably throw in the towel in favor of less baggage. If only that existed. Everyone always packs too much. Speaking of which, I have to get on an aluminum tube soon wherein my claws will embed themselves in the ceiling as it hurls through space. Lately my head doesn't seem attached to my body so what does it matter?

Are the holidays over yet?

Naked Ashton, Dancing Chaz

What did you think of Ashton Kutcher on Two and a Half Men? He killed in the ratings. The walking around naked thing might get old, but I enjoyed the funeral scene and how easily the writers could turn a tragic event into comedy. My favorite part of the show: seeing our beloved Dharma & Greg. It wasn't the funniest show I've ever seen, but it's better than most shows on the air.

Sadness: Mary Ann Mobley and Gary Collins have separated after 43 years. Such a strong marriage from Dish's childhood. I vaguely remember her talking about a colonoscopy or something intimately butt-related on Entertainment Tonight and thinking, wow, how romantic. Or maybe they had joint-colonics? If Gary and Mary Ann can't make it work, who can? Save a Prayer for Ms. Mobley as she endures treatment for Stage 3 breast cancer.

Chaz Bono, David Arquette were spectacular on DWTS. Also spectacular: Gays can now serve in the military. Openly, I mean.

Why the Seagal Torment?

Painful issue to bring up. I've known about this for a few days but now it seems the story won't go away. To preface, I swallowed my dismay at the notion that Steven Seagal could bully female assistants into becoming his sex slaves. But now, it seems he might have killed a puppy--or one might have been killed on his set. Why must he be persecuted? Just because he had the audacity to wear a ponytail beyond 1995 and tries to be an action hero when he, like Alec Baldwin, has swallowed the mighty water buffalo. I'll fess up--here's the sad report: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/31/steven-seagal-sued-for-ki_n_943952.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009. Sure, Steven made me wait three hours and pay 30$ for an autograph he never bothered to show up for. His music CD was refundable at least and my Nick Toscani action doll has been an excellent talisman on flights. I have to say my goodbyes and remember fondly how good his movies were. And by good, I mean terrible. And by terrible, I mean I have several of them on my shelf.

Update: Never mind about Seagal! He says he didn't do it. Yay!

Most importantly today, Cher took to Twitter to verbally banish bigots and support her son Chaz; she invited everyone to show Chaz the love on Dancing With the Stars. Wow. Maybe I will watch this season and even vote. If Cher is involved, so must we all be....

Crisis: How Can I Watch the VMAs in Montreal???

You'd think Canada would want to air the biggest dumb-fest of them all aside from the American Music Awards and the Grammys. The VMAs might have Nudity and Lesbian Kissing and Interrupting Atonal Singers and lots of Bleeping. Please, Lord? I want my VMAs. Oh wait, there's Hulu. I can watch it later.

Back to really serious news: The second in command of that terrorist group I won't name because I don't want to be on anyone's radar has been killed...again. We are just THAT good at killin'. This brings me to news coverage. We've seen so much Anderson Cooper on the news and it struck me, he could have taken his inheritance and blown spit bubbles for the rest of his life. Instead, he goes into hurricanes and earthquake devastation and gets the job done. A big hats off to all journalists who regularly display big hairy ones when the going gets tough.

Chaz Bono is going to be on Dancing with the Stars.

That is all. Pray that by tomorrow, I will be home.