Fifty Shades of L.A. Dish

Steven Seagal Still Follows Dish

FYI it's very hard to post from an iPad but mucho convenient. Sorry for the no pics. I'll make up for it on Saturday when we return. But seriously, way back in 2006 I must have posted about how Steven Seagal "appears" whenever I travel. He did not let me down. Spotted him in today's NYT and his hands/feet outside of Grauman's Chinese Theater. Today we did some touristy things and I got to give Morgan Freeman the finger at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. So satisfying.

What is unsatisfying: Cuba Gooding Jr is wanted for shoving a female bartender. It's the Oscar curse. This is why I do a sh&tty job so as not to win awards. Oh wait, I sort of did, so I expect life will go downhill immediately. Cuba, there's no excuse for violence, especially in New Orleans, the funnest town on Earth, except the heat drives you mad in July.

NBC Today ratings continue to decline, bahahahahahaha, chortles Ann Curry and Katie Couric.

Go See Duran Duran, If You Can

Behold this sh*tty picture, taken by Dish. The blob in the middle is a Simon/John/Dom roast beef sandwich. We got our pic taken by DD's FB team. Then Dish's "Nice butt, Nick" tweet showed up on the Jumbotron during Tiger Tiger. Our seats faced Nick Rhodes's ass so what else could I tweet? Simon's voice has never sounded better. Whatever witch doctor he visited while resting his vocal cords cured him. It was a visual orgy of flashing lights, video clips, triumphant guitars, drums and keyboard--and my new favorite person, Chastity Ashley, on percussion. That Gingie's hair swung to and fro as she wildly got into the music. We had a blast--well, I did. TG tolerated it and admitted they were "show men." Best songs: Before the Rain, Safe, The Reflex, Blame the Machines, Leave a Light On, View to a Kill. Oh hell...it was all good. And I get to see them again in a week!

Serious News: Giuliana Rancik has announced she has early stage breast cancer. This seems too much as she and her husband have faced much heartbreak in trying to conceive a child with no luck. They need some good news.

Here's great news! Steven Seagal has been ordained as a border sheriff in Texas so he'll be pushing back those illegals--Seagal-style.

Susan Sarandon called the pope a Nazi. A gray area and a bit much as far as comments go. Can't we leave Germany alone? I'm not saying forgive/forget but just chill and stop the hyperbole.

Why the Seagal Torment?

Painful issue to bring up. I've known about this for a few days but now it seems the story won't go away. To preface, I swallowed my dismay at the notion that Steven Seagal could bully female assistants into becoming his sex slaves. But now, it seems he might have killed a puppy--or one might have been killed on his set. Why must he be persecuted? Just because he had the audacity to wear a ponytail beyond 1995 and tries to be an action hero when he, like Alec Baldwin, has swallowed the mighty water buffalo. I'll fess up--here's the sad report: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/31/steven-seagal-sued-for-ki_n_943952.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009. Sure, Steven made me wait three hours and pay 30$ for an autograph he never bothered to show up for. His music CD was refundable at least and my Nick Toscani action doll has been an excellent talisman on flights. I have to say my goodbyes and remember fondly how good his movies were. And by good, I mean terrible. And by terrible, I mean I have several of them on my shelf.

Update: Never mind about Seagal! He says he didn't do it. Yay!

Most importantly today, Cher took to Twitter to verbally banish bigots and support her son Chaz; she invited everyone to show Chaz the love on Dancing With the Stars. Wow. Maybe I will watch this season and even vote. If Cher is involved, so must we all be....