Using Muscles I've Never Used Before

As you can tell from the fact that I disseminate this blog through my deceased cat, I'm not much of a self-promoter. Now with a book coming out, I have to wrack my brain and make a list of people who could help me. Luckily, TG is a master at this so I threw a big tantrum and now he feels compelled to take over as my unofficial publicist.

In the meantime, I've renewed my subscription to Helen Mirren as The Woman I Want to Be, ASAP just from pictures of her backside as she's gallivanting around a gay festival. No one looks better with pink hair or purple pants--except maybe Pink herself.

Some sad news: I'm done with The West Wing. Have now watched it through twice. Talk about an Aaron Sorkin liberal fantasy--I bawled through the entire seventh season. Electing a Hispanic president who wants to reform education and get out of a useless war. Where are my Kleenex?

Happy news: Charlie Sheen's children are no longer with their biological parents. I've always been a fan of Denise Richards and now she deserves our support as she raises four kids. May she make another Lifetime movie soon. I Do, (But I Don't) II -- an inspiration that only gets better the more you watch it.

Farrah Abraham is the new Kim Kardashian. There, I said it.

(And if you can suggest anyone who might be able to create buzz on my book, please advise me)