Master of My Romaine

I embarked on a healthier regime today by watching The Master and eating salmon and salad. Failure on all fronts, Will Robinson!!! If you're a girl, you've eaten salad every day since comparing yourself to Kristy McNichol circa 1979. Could not choke it down, not even to be Kristy. I went for a chicken Caesar wrap instead, then mocha chip ice cream (again). 

So, The Master. I do love my Phillip Seymour Jessica Sarah Parker Hoffman. Just when I think he's so acty, he will show once again how brilliant he is. And Joaquin Phoenix--no one does screwed-up drunk better than he does. Here's the story: A loser survives the war and drinks too much. This guy really should be landfill. Instead, he wanders onto a boat (because that happens) and winds up meeting The Master. TM is interesting, inquisitive, creative--someone who makes you feel good. For some reason, he adores Loser and devotes energy to curing him. His scary wife Amy Adams (terrifying) is more skeptical, yet gives TM a hand job in the sink. I went blind so I'm not sure what happens after this.

Over two hours go by. Loser is still a loser. I feel as if I've seen Joaquin do this role before. Would love to see him do something light. Sure, it's about Scientology, but Tom Cruise and his band of merry men were not at all threatened by this slowwwww movie. It packs no punch whatsoever. It's more a slice of life between polar opposites. The setting is interesting, the performances good, just deadly, deadly pacing. If it weren't for Hoffman, I'd say pass. Though rent only.

Massacre's Aftertaste

I don't know about you but yesterday's Colorado bloodbath is lingering in my psyche, as it should. The world can be an awful place. To get ourselves into seeing the new Batman, TG and I have been viewing Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. The movies have sparkle but tooooo lllooooonnnnnggggg. There is no disputing the genius of Heath Ledger. I'm sad for the movies his death deprived us of, baby (don't end with preposition).

Today Dish broke through a major psychological wall. At 16, I trained hard for soccer with Dishbiologicalfather. We used to run around the track in the early evening, with sun setting and both of us in different parts of the track. He'd yell, "do one more lap for Duran Duran!" and I would. I got to running 6 miles a day. Since that time, I haven't had the heart to run that distance. I'd get to 5.5 and give up. Until today. I am my own motivator, Dishreaders.*

My inspiration is the new trailer for The Master, which is an obvious nod to Scientology, coming out in October from Paul Thomas Anderson. My dream of Joaquin Phoenix returning to acting has been realized. Put him with master Phillip Seymour Hoffman and I officially have my ticket to heaven. It's genius to choose the setting since it seems to explore the roots of Scientology. The easy choice would be to focus on the last twenty years. Tom Cruise allegedly is pissed at this flickipoo, though Dish feels he'll pretend it didn't happen. I cannot WAIT for this.

* I did an extra lap for Duran Duran.