Season Five

Euphoria is here. Dish finished an enormous project. Superman is home and happy (and wearing tight white leopard print shirt but that's more entertainment for me). I just helped him buy a Brita filter, which was an enjoyable task. Now Dish won't get dehydrated at his place. Tonight I'm making him watch A Mighty Wind. I adore Jane Lynch and this is my small way of communing with the goddess.

I must give credit to Season Five of Sex and the City for getting me through this work-filled weekend. Charlotte got rid of Trey, Miranda got knocked up, Samantha got involved with Richard (who is super-sexy), and Carrie finally ditched Aidan (too good for her). My favorite SATC period was the wedding of Nathan Lane and that chirpy blond, when Samantha takes those big melons to mock the disrespectful girls with implants and then throws them at the window. Oh heck, I love all of Season Six except for Boring Berger.

Happy Sunday to all!

Appreciation Night

Dish had a drink with a friend who worked in films for years. I got the dirt. But I wanted to know who was cool. Several names came up but one made me nostalgic: Gregory Hines. DishFriend said GH would walk into a room and make you feel like a million bucks. A rare quality in a person, much less a celeb. So sad that such talent and goodness was snuffed out too soon.

Good Friday?

I hate one of my neighbors. She's yelling right now. Not because she's frustrated but, yeah, she's one of those loud girls. Fake blond, sporting a brassy accent she can't hide, slathered in designer clothes she has no business wearing. She's one step from a stained track suit, I know it. I see her reading her US Weekly that she gets delivered. Why not the New Yorker? Because she's stupid. And mean. Everytime she sees Dish, she scowls. I tried saying hello once, but now I don't bother. I just press the Down button and wait for the day when I can squash The Cow with my foot.

A little nasty Dish tonight but at least I'm not dissing a celeb. I have a huge deadline on Sunday. Must send a large document to someone important and I have 150 pages left to edit. And Superman's coming home. My apartment is a mess. ER was a collossal bore last night (though might have slight crush on George Clooney now) and...and...I have nothing to watch on TV!!!

A Television Event

George Clooney does nothing for me. I'm sure if he were up close, I might faint a little but I've been over him since Facts of Life. I feel the same way about ER. Can't watch it. Well, a certain relative ruined it by telling me that when he saw the opening (where Juliana Margulies attempts suicide because she was left at the altar) Juliana's character reminded him of me. Thanks!!!

Despite my indifference and fifteen-year boycott, I'm DYING to see George and Juliana reunite on ER. It's so huge, it's called an "event." Don't care about Eriq or Anthony or Shari or the one with the limp. George and Juliana together again: epic and only happens once in a lifetime (unless they wind up together on Lifetime at the end of their careers--hello Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson, love you).

ps. Superman is sick in Ethiopia. Two days of fever and every other bad thing. Two days of not buying me presents. :(

Calgon and Chain Gangs

Treat yourself and groove on rock empress Chrissy Hynde of The Pretenders as she belts out a favorite. Dish listened to "Back on the Chain Gang" while trying to survive a brutal assault on the treadmill. Somehow, Chrissy made everything okay. She helped me trudge faster than a twelve-minute mile. Plus, she rocks eyeliner like no one else.

And now, as I lay me down to sleep, Dr. Bricker is trying to woo Barbi Benton, Captain Stubing threatens to fire Gopher, and Julie McCoy's pants are too tight. Life is as it should be.

Welcome Back, Steph

I was going to watch The Real Housewives of New York, mostly for fall-out over Kelly Killoren Bensimon's arrest for slugging her boyfriend. She bugged me from the beginning with her riding and dissing of Ramona right before her competition. Common sense prevailed and what a pleasure to see brainy Stephanie March back on Law & Order: SVU. She's sounds as if she's even been to law school. Carol Burnett guest stars next week!

In other news, a Page Six item mentioned Jason Segel's full frontal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. While Dish generally appreciates full frontal, there is far too much Segel wang in FSM. Superman and I were both offended by the number of unveilings. We understand Segel's pride. He wrote the script so he could put as much wang as he wanted. Because Superman adores anything related to Judd Apatow, we're seeing I Love You Man, but I will stew over the disappearance of the comma with direct address (reveling in the absence of Segel's full frontal).

Star Sighting

11:40 am, The Woolworth Building: Dish walked out for lunch and there was America Ferrara in pink tights and leopard coat. Adorable! Of course, Dish couldn't form words to scream, I LOVE YOU, AMERICA! Does she get a kick out of the fact that Obama ends his speeches hoping that God blesses her? So flattering (especially since she's a Clinton lover like Dish!).

Tonight I'm lowering myself to watch Dancing With the Stars. Supporting Belinda Carlisle, the Playboy chick, David Alan Grier, Jewel's rodeo husband and Denise Richards. Within five minutes of the show, I'm already loathing Simon-wanna-be Bruno.

Old and Fat Dish

Sad truth: I was in Old Navy today (Payless before that) and the pants didn't fit me in my usual size. I wonder if I'm getting fatter even though the scale says I'm only 5 pounds heavier than I was at 22. I'd ask Superman but he has the unbearable tendency to tell the truth. Any good gay man will tell me what I need to hear. Time for Dish to call a friend! [sound of potato chips crackling]

Tonight Dish will forget the transfer of weight from brains to hips by watching Sally Field smack Balthazar Getty on Brothers & Sisters. Love that Sally! She has a banging body still. Could be the Boniva.