Happy Birthday, Jane Lynch!!!

Just plain excellent--and now a year older. Best wishes from Dish and Company.

Sorry, J.J.!!!

Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem got hitched after three years of dating. Usually when the stars date for a long time, they get bored with each other and break up. Not so true with foreign stars. Regarding Penny and Javie, I questioned whether their love was a sham. Because they're now married, the two entered into a sacred and viable union, which will last forever. At least marriage will keep that whore Penelope from dating every elligible man in Hollywood and kissing the ladies (only in movies)!

It's The Year of the Bad Husband

So what about all this Mel Gibson news? Dish's take: Mel has been sick for many years. He's a rage-aholic, everyone says yes to him, he might be a little gay, his peak was long ago, he's divorced Robin because they had no "spiritual common ground." A valid thing for a couple. FYI--both TG and I worship the Goddess Pesto who lives in a big noodle in the sky. What makes me mad is Whoopi, whom I normally support, who supports Mel on The View. Said Mel's nice, he's no racist, Oksana is a golddigger. She may be, but no one should get punched in the face. If Mel had punched me, I wouldn't go to the police. I'd leak his messages on the Internets because his career/life/ credibility would be ruined more thoroughly. The police might have ignored her as they often do criminal celebrities. Hell hath no fury...

Speaking of a-holes, George Steinbrenner passed away. While he was enjoyable on Seinfeld, I'm a little nauseated by my hetero-guy-friends posting weepy R.I.P.s on Facebook. I've been an avid Yankees fan since 1978. Though legendary, GS was an a-hole. I'm not glad he's dead but I won't be toasting him anytime soon.

Lastly, my review on Inglourios Basterds: Quentin Tarentino masturbates and it's unwatchable.

Major Star Sighting

7:53pm

JJ: Star Sighting, 67th and CPW. STING!
Dish: Impressions?
JJ: Young looking. Hot.
Dish: Facelift and strippers

FINALLY!

It's official that I can go a week without the media. Now that I don't have to, there are a few items to address:

TG and I listened to the Mel Gibson rant and giggled the whole way through. He was hilarious! Who talks like that? Well, drunk people at 3 a.m. So nice the world finally knows the real Mel. How to erase the fact that he's a talented actor?

Lindsay Lohan needs to go to jail fast. Her fame-whoring father said something very astute (for once) by urging her drug testing to include prescription drugs. Apparently, she's Judy Garland sans talent. Can death be far behind?

World Cup: TG and I tried to pick a side--the country that hurt the Jews the least and/or the nicest uniforms--and failed. Not the most exciting game but yay anyway.

To end on a happy note: Let's hope Kevin Costner's barge, Ella G, can help clean the oil spill. Ella is my grandmother's name--a good omen.

It's Someone's Birthday!

But I'm not saying who. It's definitely not the person who played Brian Kinney from Queer As Folk and who is a moody, emotion-withholding Cancerian just like Dish.

I endured the week of fasting fairly easily. My life was no better/worse from the lack of celebrities. I had one moment of weakness caused by my foray into the Guggenheim mixed with too many vegetables. My agita compelled me to turn on the TV for a moment but then I realized that I'd fought too hard for my silence.

Happy birthday to someone! And soon, it'll be Dish's turn to celebrate.

Day #5: Star Sighting If I Were Noticing

1:38 pm, Washington Place and Sixth Avenue: Because I'm star-fasting, I pretended nothing had happened. I definitely did NOT see Little Steven from Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band and The Sopranos (he was good in this). He certainly wasn't huffing and puffing as he carried a duffel bag across the street and he totally did not have a large belly. If I were paying attention to the stars, I'd say he looked young. The moral of the story is: Fat Don't Crack.

Long Live Little Steven and his bandanna.

Day #4: Dish, with a Doctorate in Duran Duran

With no TV, mags or newspapers, I've fallen back on the sweet succor of my oft neglected iPod, o compressor of music. If you blast the night version of "Is There Something I Should Know" by those fab five comprised once of Simon, Nick, John, Andy and Roger (now sans Andy), it dulls the pain. In this precious gem of an enlighted age, you'll discover an homage to Roxy Music and Chic. Truly a funktastic and haunting melody to get you through the darkness. As I ran, I thought deeply not of literature but of Simon's hair through the ages: from mullet to Rob Thomas to Meg Ryan and now Kate Gosselin circa 2009, such blessed rock star tresses. As I finished my trudging and Duraning, my eyes strayed to a screen located across my machine. It displayed jovial men in red uniforms celebrating in homoerotic fashion. Not the gym, but Spain had won some part of the World Cup. I didn't ask.

And now to work with the cool rumblings of "Girls on Film" (Night Version).