Dish Got Her Flu Shot. Did You?

Last night, a swoony man-kiss on Desperate Housewives--wahoo, ABC! Then lots of hissy fits and the promise of geezer sex on Brothers & Sisters. Speaking of which, Keith Super-UberMann returns to MSNBC after a measly three days. Really? There is no recourse for breaking rules anymore. The rule itself was silly (since it's silly to pretend that journalists are ever so objective, especially about campaigns) but the punishment ridiculous.

Today's Diarrhea: Eric Roberts called Kate Gosselin a "child abuser," Gretchen Mol is preggers, Christina Aguilera may or may not be canoodling with her Burlesque assistant.

Just listened to a clip of Duran Duran's new song "Being Followed" (birthed with their latest collaboration--Mark Ronson)and I'm not wowed. I might grow into it, as I did with "Union of the Snake" and "Reach Up for the Sunrise." My feeling is that DD needs super-funk and Nile Rogers again. Oh wait...is he still alive? And that Simon's voice be less whiny but deeper as it was in "Rio." That said, I loved their last album "Red Carpet Massacre," esp. "Falling Down," "The Valley," and "She's Too Much."

At 12K for Nanowrimo

Who knew Dish could have so much to write? Well, you witness it daily with my verbal diarrhea over celebs. Starwise, nothing happened over the weekend except Dishbrother, who is a licensed massage therapist, saw the Chilean miner in the massage tent at the NYC marathon.

But here's some news in the vein of items I don't care about:

Michael Jackson unreleased song might be authentic. Janis Joplin is also dropping her new CD from heaven.

Lil Wayne was released from jail. I'm not sure what Lil does or why he's on TMZ.

Linday Lohan's night excursion to see a movie while she's supposed to be in rehab. Really? Letting an addict go for a walk? Have you seen 24 where someone is there to pass off the goods?

Dina Lohan going on the Today show to talk about a celebrity who's done nothing interesting since Mean Girls and even that was a stretch. Why should bad parenting be rewarded with a guest spot on TV? Dish needs to rethink.

Things I'm bursting to talk about:

Alleged sex tapes floating around from at least two hot young Hollywood studs. The advent of cell phone filming will ruin secret sex of the stars. Lucky for me, I am discreet so will only blab about it with my friends.

Re: plastic surgery. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills admitted to their surgeries, which takes out some of the mystique. Dish applauds this honesty. Someone whom you wouldn't think has had plastic surgery has had tons. I'll be quiet now.

This is a blow...

Jill Clayburgh died yesterday at 66 after a long battle with chronic lymphocytic leukemia. Why, God? Why must you take away these legends? I first heard her on the soundtrack of Pippin, then had seen her with Burt Reynolds in Starting Over. Through the years, I went through her repertoire and then got a nice boost when she starred with Donald Sutherland in Dirty Sex Money. Blessings on her coming and going.

*Sniff*

Dish Started a Trend

Now that I'm engaged, all these celebrities are getting engaged. Keeping themselves in the headlines, Vanessa Minnillo got a big rock from Nick Lachey. In the pics, he looks like a deer in headlights, though he kinda looks like that anyway.

Conflicting reports on an engagement between Leeanne Rimes and Eddie Cibrian. They are big cheaters a hot couple. That Leeanne went from girl to woman in the last couple years.

And now, TG and I are recovering from a few episodes of Criminal Minds, where C. Thomas Howell emerges from TigerBeat circa 1986 to dazzle us as a serial killer. Loved him as a teen actor but he's even better as an adult. Too bad Soul Man killed his career for a while.

Keith Obermann just got suspended by MSNBC for contributing to three Democratic campaigns.

A Duran Duran Nightmare

I've seen Duran Duran in concert at least 7 times, each time more spectacular than the last. You may not like DD, but I dare you not to love their live shows. Sadly, I experienced a bad show last night in my dreams. Picture it: outdoors, warm weather, a private party so intimate one could be 5 feet from Simon, Nick, Roger, John, and unnamed guitarist who isn't officially part of the band. Finally, a moment 28 years in the making. Headline: Dish meets Duran Duran. I waited an hour, then another. Finally, Simon emerged with mysterious musicians--and he was a spiky-haired little bitch! Not only that but he lip-synched. I was so distraught, I covered my ears and ran out. What does this mean? Are the gods angry that I'm walking down the aisle to "Rio?"

Let's forget this bad dream, children. Onto better topics: I got a request not to blog about a red-haired comic who turns 50 today. And no, it's not me. She's the one who got the public pap smear (how's that for an image, JJ?) Even juicier than a birthday, David Cassidy was arrested for alleged DUI. According to TMZ, he failed two breathalizers but claims they are wrong and is fighting the charge. The mug shot is one of the best I've ever seen. I think I love you!

The Votes Are In

The election wasn't as bad as I thought it would be--and the world survived even though I didn't vote. The GOP painted last night's election as a victory against the Dems but it was a little like the emissions from TGcat after eating salami and cheese--narly, but we'll survive. I knew we'd lose the house. This country seems to hate Nancy Pelosi and she gets skewered. They photograph her in mid-sneeze, mid-breath, wincing, raising her hand accidentally in a heil hitler manner to wave to a friend. Did she deserve the same caricatures as, say, Palladino?

In other powerful women news: Cate Capshaw turns 57. She doesn't look a day over 40. Oprah Winfrey just scored some excellent interviews: Ricky Martin will spew about being gay long after the fact (wish he would just sing and shake his bon bon again!) and Marie Osmond will talk her son's suicide. Given all the suicides by young people, it's good timing. I don't care what kind of mess she might be, I love Marie!

Other dishy news: Patti Stanger's assistant Chelsea Autumn quit the Millionaire Matchmaker and is spilling about MM's awfulness. Never burn britches! I'd never bet against Patti in a Jello wrestling contest. She'd go straight for your "picker!"

Vote!

I'm ashamed: Not sure I'll even have time to vote as I'm being whipped and quartered while running all over town. I'm not lying or exaggerating (maybe about the running). Second day of Nanowrimo--up to 3,500K words--and looking forward to In Treatment and the delicious tension between fabulous Amy Ryan and Gabriel Byrne (TG is bored to tears by the show).

Still seeing too many pictures of celebs in their Halloween costumes. Only tidbit: Demi Lovato is in rehab for an eating disorder and cutting--allegedly. Dish is so lucky: I had an eating disorder for one day. I had 500 calories then went for a five-mile run, came home and felt dizzy. Made myself a triple-decker sandwich! Of course, I'm lucky in that when stressed, I stop eating, which accounts for being able to drop 10 pounds at a moment's notice. My heart is with Demi L. Young people need their teen idols to be strong!

Happy Birthday to Jennifer McCarthy...

...who has raised tons of awareness for autism. Bless this gorgeous blond for doing good and dating Jim Carrey (though they made a nice couple). I keep remembering her for other less significant things: like saying on television that she farted. Who--other than the fattie sidekick--does that? Long Live La Jenny!

It's rumored that Charlie Sheen continues to party his face off. Like we expect anything else? Dish is reminded of ExBF2, whose pallor was a distinct vampirish gray during a whole week of nonstop partying. So sad, so close to death. Dish's solution: leave Hollywood.

Back to Nanowrimo. 1677 words so far. Happy All Saints Day!