A Quick Sunday Gossip Session Since Political Animals Is On!

Dish has her priorities: Sigourney Weaver, but I'll mention today's highlights:

Ex-porn star Jenna Jameson supports Mitt Romney. Hmmmm. And she drove her car into a telephone pole recently. Coincidence? Oh well, life would be dull if everyone thought the way you did. I'm related to someone in the Tea Party and I love him to pieces.

Kristen Stewart is supposedly bereft over losing Robert Pattinson. Dish can't take this broken romance seriously. They are so young! When I got dumped by the French waiter, I didn't shower for days either. Um. Maybe that's why he dumped me (by not calling but I kept showing up at the bar and he kept taking my money then slept with my friend but I'm not bitter).

People is so right about Matthew Perry, that he shouldn't do comedy anymore. He is positively EXCELLENT on The Good Wife and it's time for him to transition to drama. MP is a talent. I want him to succeed. He will succeed in TV drama and then...when he turns 50, he will shock the world by doing an amazing film. I see it.

Radaronline reports that Brigitte Nielsen got drunk and passed out in an L.A. park. We've all been there, haven't we, Dishreaders? I don't know why this Brigitte downward spiral saddens me, maybe because we share birthday, maybe because I enjoyed her freakish connection to Flavor Flav on The Surreal Life and her European air. She was a great beauty and I hope she picks herself up and moves on.

Natalie Portman is married. I don't care. My Black Swan love for her is over. Over, you hear me? I'm back to being jealous hating her. What does she do that's so great? Everything

I'm also over Olympic medalist Ryan Lochte and his bitchy way of stealing medals from our favorite doobie smoker Michael Phelps. Plus, Lochte's mom basically called her son a man-whore and he himself admitted he liked Blake Lively. I'm really bored. Team Gabby Douglas all the way.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend, Y'All!

So what are you doing this long weekend? Dish and TG are off to Atlantic City to catch ZZ Top. I never thought I'd ever do such a thing: go to the Land of Trump or see those long beards (Angela's dad on Bones) filling my ears with their sassy noise. ZZ Top is highly sexual for a band's name, especially if you know French and TG thinks this choice was on purpose. I grew up seeing them as the ones whose videos took precious airtime away from this awesome showstopper. TG will be happy.

Speaking of happy, Keira Knightley got engaged to James Righton (Right on! I bet you never hear that). Lindsay Lohan found the man who's going to play Richard Burton, as if we aren't all going to be glued to the screen opening night.

The Bethenny divorce rumors are a scam, in my view. How else to build excitement for her talk show starting June 11 on Fox? I'm incensed and will not watch already DVRed.

Say a prayer for Jenna Jameson's tortured soul. She survived a porn career and, after doing the whole husband and kids thing, drunkenly drove into a pole. Someone should write a book about sabotage.