A Quick Sunday Gossip Session Since Political Animals Is On!

Dish has her priorities: Sigourney Weaver, but I'll mention today's highlights:

Ex-porn star Jenna Jameson supports Mitt Romney. Hmmmm. And she drove her car into a telephone pole recently. Coincidence? Oh well, life would be dull if everyone thought the way you did. I'm related to someone in the Tea Party and I love him to pieces.

Kristen Stewart is supposedly bereft over losing Robert Pattinson. Dish can't take this broken romance seriously. They are so young! When I got dumped by the French waiter, I didn't shower for days either. Um. Maybe that's why he dumped me (by not calling but I kept showing up at the bar and he kept taking my money then slept with my friend but I'm not bitter).

People is so right about Matthew Perry, that he shouldn't do comedy anymore. He is positively EXCELLENT on The Good Wife and it's time for him to transition to drama. MP is a talent. I want him to succeed. He will succeed in TV drama and then...when he turns 50, he will shock the world by doing an amazing film. I see it.

Radaronline reports that Brigitte Nielsen got drunk and passed out in an L.A. park. We've all been there, haven't we, Dishreaders? I don't know why this Brigitte downward spiral saddens me, maybe because we share birthday, maybe because I enjoyed her freakish connection to Flavor Flav on The Surreal Life and her European air. She was a great beauty and I hope she picks herself up and moves on.

Natalie Portman is married. I don't care. My Black Swan love for her is over. Over, you hear me? I'm back to being jealous hating her. What does she do that's so great? Everything

I'm also over Olympic medalist Ryan Lochte and his bitchy way of stealing medals from our favorite doobie smoker Michael Phelps. Plus, Lochte's mom basically called her son a man-whore and he himself admitted he liked Blake Lively. I'm really bored. Team Gabby Douglas all the way.

Jennifer Garner Has Popped!

Doesn't Jennifer make pregnancy seem so effortless? She always looks happy and enthusiastic. I saw her on Broadway in Cyrano and she was an utter delight, as sparkling on stage as on screen. The show itself was mediocre but I love her overall and wish I could summon her on occasion. Congratulations, JG, for having a boy!

Another mother but far more controversial, that Angelina has made waves for flashing her leg. Are we in the dark ages? She's being criticized for the pose but I feel brain damaged because I don't get the big deal. We saw her naked in Gia so what else could possibly shock us? I loved the flash of leg. That's what slits in dresses are for!!!

The Bachelor spoiler: Finally arrived the most offensive episode for us Dish Prudes: The F*ck Room Fantasy Suite episode where they can spend the rest of the evening boinking like rabbits who just got out of prison getting to know each other better. Do the last three contestants get tested for STDs before TFS? I knew the plumper girl (by plumper I mean the normal sized and beautiful) would get sent home. Then in a fake-surprise encounter, Kacie B. flew all the way to Switzerland only to get the door shut in her face again by Ben. Her frown lines have grown Muppet deep and I wonder if Ben sucked the happiness out of her. Poor Kacie B. She deserves so much better.

Desperate Housewives alum Nicollette Sheridan went to court against Marc Cherry who allegedly smacked her on the set then killed her off the show. They basically hired Vanessa Williams to take her place. You need a "slutty one" in every show and it's a great gig. But I'm sure Nico can do better than DH, which has gone downhill since she left.

Natalie Portman seems to have married her balletman. I'm doing deep knee bends and pirouettes in their honor. No furniture was harmed.

Almost Forgot to Post!

Because nothing is happening. For real! Well, except Susan Lucci is speaking out against her ABC boss who effed up All My Children and made everyone lose their jobs. Though weren't soaps on the way out? AMC may be gone, but Erica Kane is forever.

Watched Natalie Portman in The Other Woman. It's not an easy movie to watch, though worth it for one crucial scene between Natalie and Lisa Kudrow. Dish has no experience with such drama but cried like a baby at these two fine actresses' performances.

And that is it. Dish almost met a star this weekend but plans fell through. No big whoop. I keep my eyes and ears open on the street.