The Apocalypse Is Near

Another sort of shocking Hollywood split: Diane Lane and Josh Brolin. My Dish-vibe tells me--based purely on excessive sniffing of tea tree oil and vapor analysis--their marriage might have been tumultuous. She seems like a delicate flower. He's a bad boy, mind-numbingly good actor. Of course, he's going to blow that to hell, though I hope he doesn't. Diane Lane will continue being sweet and amazing.

This weekend is devoted to Oscar. Sure, I'll spend time looking in the mirror and wondering how to transform into Jessica Chastain. If I tape up the sides of my face and hide the flaps under my hair, no one will see the difference. And then I just throw on a gown and act awkward and modest--there. I am she.

Hilariousness from Michelle Obama and Jimmy Fallon.

Sandy Concert, Golden Globe Snubbing, I Love Boy Bands!

Golden Globs (I wrote that on purpose): Outrage #1, to snub Sons of Anarchy. Are you crazy, Hollywood Foreign Press? Outrage #2, American Horror Story also got the diss but at least my Jessica Lange got a nom. Outrage #3, that Ricky isn't hosting. I can let go everything else.

TG and I watched a little of last night's Sandy concert. Though weary of the Bon Jovi, Paul McCartney and Bruce telethon trifecta, I hope they raised gazillions. Then we watched Barbara Walters, whose eyes are growing ever closer together*. Hmmmm. She interviewed One Direction, and the group reminded me of early Duran Duran, though their songs sound like Katy Perry. Never mind, I love these little tykes, dear reader. I'm one of 297 million viewers of this video.

Screw you, Homeland, for killing off my favorite character aside from Claire Danes, who is the face of the goddess herself. A mark of a good show--you kill your angels. Didn't Hemingway say that?

Men in Black III (or is it IV) is terrible. Saving grace is that Josh Brolin does an excellent Tommy Lee Jones. Joshipoo is very underrated and one of the finest actors around. And who doesn't love Emma I almost wrote Heather Thompson? Another actress I could watch cutting her toenails and be enthralled.

*And she made a grammatical error.