Breaking Bad or Homeland? That Is the Question.

When Dish has a TV conundrum such as this, there is no choosing. Watch nothing! I haven't watched last week's BB. TG can't stand Homeland (even though he hasn't seen it, even though he loves Mandy Patinkin more than life itself), so we do work. But I cannot wait to watch both! Has Homeland jumped the terrorist shark? Will Walter White go to the white light?

In other news, SNL still stinks. And Jimmy Kimmel and Kanye are in a feud. At first, the tide seemed to go in JK's favor, but there's backlash to this tide. Like, why does Kanye get picked on all the time for being nuts? I won't say it because he's rude and nuts. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that this is beyond frivolous, as in why even bother aside from the comedy of it all...

I will learn from this since I'm sure I'll face negativity over my "art" in the next few months. I kind of don't want to hear it unless tactfully presented by, say, Katie Couric. Please, my fragile ego is only filtering in the BS right now. In secret, I am training like Jackie Chan, punching boards, sliding across roofs, hoarding yarn and puzzles while summoning some charm. If Kanye could dole out a little charm, I'd root for him in heartbeat.

Ps--reason for absence, following the rumor mill that Julia might be a b*tch in real life. There's not enough Xanax to cope with this possibility, as she is perfect.

So Not into the Golden Globes, Not Sure Why!

I'm watching them anyway... Resentful of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler for cruelly stealing Ricky Gervais's spot. Resentful of friends who thought Ricky was over the top. Fighting the tide of change. Missing TG who's visiting family. He loves award shows for some reason, gets perked up by "the biz" in its glory.

Observations so far:

Daniel Day: Awesome for doing the ET thing. I thought he'd be a douche and pretend it was beneath him. Caught a glimpse of my sort-of neighbor Sally!!!
Jennifer Lopez is naked.
Sofia, as always, was robbed.
Why is Julianne Moore becoming more and more awesome as the years go by? Love hair and dress.
Rooted hard for Damien, glad he won for Homeland.
What's happened to Salma Hayek's career?
Daniel Craig needs to powder his face. Adore seeing him with his wife, Rachel (we're on a first-name basis since The Constant Gardener in which she's brilliant)--a golden couple
Adele is awesome. Have to check--Duran Duran never won a GG for View to a Kill, touted as best Bond song ever (at least in my imagination)
Oh, Anjelica Huston...

That is all for now.

Poor LeAnn Rimes!

Remember the days when all LeAnn did was sing? Now she's flashing the bikini, getting into twitter wars, and is becoming the butt of so much yick. The latest craziness occurred on X Factor when LeAnn appeared with this young girl and kinda of acted strange. Some say she was drunk. Dish just doesn't think she practiced singing with the girl and felt super-awkward. The girl was great. I don't know. Maybe I worry too much? I want LeAnn to come out of this in one piece and just sing.

Then on the other side of normal is Claire Danes who gave birth to Cyrus Michael Angelo Einstein Fancy Dancy Pants. I only care that Homeland continues.

Dish had a marvelous time at Jersey Boys. Told the ushers it was my fifth time but they weren't impressed. Male usher told me I should wear something red (ole!) so that the cast could see me better, making me a real whore groupie. The ushers told me the lady next to me had seen it 191 times. Superfan showed me pictures of her with the cast, told me how nice "John" and "Jarrod" and "Matt" were. Ya know "John" answers all his fan mail? The music thrills me, as always. Can't wait to see it again next week!

Sandy Concert, Golden Globe Snubbing, I Love Boy Bands!

Golden Globs (I wrote that on purpose): Outrage #1, to snub Sons of Anarchy. Are you crazy, Hollywood Foreign Press? Outrage #2, American Horror Story also got the diss but at least my Jessica Lange got a nom. Outrage #3, that Ricky isn't hosting. I can let go everything else.

TG and I watched a little of last night's Sandy concert. Though weary of the Bon Jovi, Paul McCartney and Bruce telethon trifecta, I hope they raised gazillions. Then we watched Barbara Walters, whose eyes are growing ever closer together*. Hmmmm. She interviewed One Direction, and the group reminded me of early Duran Duran, though their songs sound like Katy Perry. Never mind, I love these little tykes, dear reader. I'm one of 297 million viewers of this video.

Screw you, Homeland, for killing off my favorite character aside from Claire Danes, who is the face of the goddess herself. A mark of a good show--you kill your angels. Didn't Hemingway say that?

Men in Black III (or is it IV) is terrible. Saving grace is that Josh Brolin does an excellent Tommy Lee Jones. Joshipoo is very underrated and one of the finest actors around. And who doesn't love Emma I almost wrote Heather Thompson? Another actress I could watch cutting her toenails and be enthralled.

*And she made a grammatical error.

Thanksgiving Gravlax. Qu'est-ce que c'est?

Sundays continue to be too packed with great shows. Homeland, Dexter. Let me catch you up on both: The bad guy/protagonist can't stop banging the crazy blond ho.

TG and I made out like bandits from Dishmama's brunch fiesta today. We will go anywhere for free food. My husband hates the idea of me in the kitchen -- especially since my idea of deliciousness is Potato Bud flakes swimming in an ocean of Land O' Lakes and parmesan, the breakfast of champions with mild food and body image issues. Wash it down with some caffeine free Diet Coke. DM saves lives!

Rihanna shows me everyday the truth about love. It involves taking a picture of your squeeze while he's sleeping, which proves you're doing it and c'est tres serious. Tonight, I'm going to catch TG mid-snore,* maybe give him some fake tattoos and little Sharpie mustache, then post on Twitter.

* Teenagers have done this already and posted the pics on FB. Another reason why the young are awesome!

Super Sunday! Let Us Rejoice!

Not only is this the night of Homeland and Dexter, but also...okay, I can't think of anything else. Note to self: Italy is the new Celebrity Wedding. I caught a picture of Justin Timberlake wearing his wedding ring. Reminded me of my cousins (female) who both sighed at the joyous sight of TG wearing a ring. That made me look and now I sigh when I see it. Okay, I'm a huge girlbut not physically. Are you calling me fat?, who pretends not to dream about being a 1950s housewife. I love doing choresbut don't exactly do them.

Kris Jenner had a nip slip while posing as Wonder Woman. What's wrong with her?  She's 50-something, a sexy woman without having to show us her new ta-tas. 

Sad news: RIP, George McGovern. Dish's first conscious memories were of staring down at Vote for McGovern buttons. Isn't that totally manipulative of my parents? If they hadn't waved these in my face, I could have become a big flaming Reagan Republican--to go along with making meals and vacuuming the floor (or is it the carpet?).

TG and I went out to dinner at a fancy place that celebs go to. I think someone defecated on my meal, it was that bad. Luckily, Dish isn't so picky about her dishes so no hard feelings. Well, TG paid and he's still angsting over paying so much for sh*t.

TV is just no good anymore

I'm canceling Scandal from my DVR schedule. I hate the characters. All Kerry Washington does is yell orders into a phone. The script is too Sorkin-esque. It has to die. This sh*t is why people watch reality TV. Homeland and Cupcake Wars all the way.

Was so blue and stressed yesterday I bought my 4th ticket to see Jersey Boys. Dish has to check out the new cast. Jarrod Spector is such an awesome Frankie. As I blasted the soundtrack, it became evident that I experienced The Four Seasons in another life or they've become my new Duran Duran while the band is on hiatus. What's the truth? I need Shirley MacLaine and John Edward, STAT!!! 

TG yelled at me for hovering while he got ready for work. I'm passive aggressively soaking my rings in salt water. And then I'm ironing a messy double-crease on his pants!!!

Wowzers, How about that Homeland and Dexter!?

Dexter is so majorly f*cked now that Deb caught him killing Tom Hanks's son! That's the problem when you kill someone on an altar in a church. It's so cliche! The pieces are breaking apart. Can Dex handle it? Of course, he can. He loves the challenge and there's the hope that he won't have to film with his ex-wife anymore if she gets killed off! Dish's comments on thinness: The actor who plays Joey Quinn looks extremely ill, like manorexia or coke/meth/heroin' thin. He's been wasting away in the last three seasons. Either that or it's the stress of being on two hit shows. Jennifer Carpenter is a little less gaunt, though overindulging on the pancake. It's like Ally McBeal all over.

I subjected TG to Homeland. I knew he'd like it because he has a thing for Mandy Patinkin. You should hear the squealing and whooping when he catches the barest glimpse of Man-Pat. TG tried to pretend he was reading his iPad but, really, his soft green eyes were avidly watching Mr. Grizzle deliver his lines so mellifluously.

So yeah, Ahnold is a lying douche, Adele is singing James Bond (perfect), Drew had a girl named Olive, and Seth MacFarlane will host the Oscars. The Academy Awards are where good comedians go to die.

I've decided that I will no longer utter the names Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton on this blog. Until they do something interesting.

Madame X is still on the lam.

Dish is going on a FB and news diet!

I know, I know. This happens a couple times a year and it never lasts long. I get so frustrated by my hours in front of a screen, looking at nonsense ("...but nonsense it all is."--name that quote). I keep refreshing my screen and it's awful. I can't hold a thought in my head and nothing gets done.

My last star thing is that the Emmys were incredibly boring last night and Sofia Vergara was robbed. Jimmie Kimmel was a terrible host. I like his talk show, think he's funny but you need an upbeat and sparkly host--like Ellen, Hugh Jackman, Billy Crystal. On a better note, most of what I picked WON!

This is a shameless plug for Homeland. It really is the best show on TV, debuting on Sunday. I'd even say it's better than Breaking Bad, which is perched over the great white but not quite over it. I was elated to see Aaron Paul win and plant a giant smooch on Guancarlo Esposito, one of the greatest actors alive. There's Dexter also coming though it definitely jumped the shark during the Julia Stiles season. Maybe this one will be better. Who was the chick with Dexter in the audience? I thought he was back together with Jennifer Carpenter. Ugh. See what I mean?

Once I'm done with my TV diet, I'm going to pick up my Sons of Anarchy obsession.

Homeland -- It's an Addiction

Dish made a big mistake. Everyone's been soooooooo into Homeland this year. I avoided it since Claire Danes is that irritating, perfect bodied, sort of pretty girl who never has an ounce of difficulty in life. But...I can't help watching everything she's in. She's usually so good, right? Oh god, so I took a break between bouts of work and downloaded Homeland Season 1. The second Claire goes all spazzy over terrorists, I'm hooked! What's more, she's another screwed up, pill-popping heroine and you know Dish loves those! Readers, I'm almost done with the first season and it's only been 24 hours. The nail on my coffin is the Gingie alleged terrorist. Finally we redheads are getting more starring roles. I can't even begin to digest my feelings about seeing Mandy Patinkin again on screen. I'm verklempt!

Other than this, there's been a huge rumor that Morgan Freeman is dead. We know how I feel about that. It's more Morgan Freeman propaganda so that he can be that kindly King of the Universe. Well, let me tell you: It's not all about you, Morgan Freeman!!! (I hope you're alive)