RIP, Ed Koch!

I never lived in NYC during the reign of Mayor Koch, but I certainly visited often and he's an icon of this city. He had some ups and downs in politics. Still so sad to hear the news of his passing. Giuliani spent most of his time in drag on SNL, but Koch did better with his stint on Sex and the City. He made his mark.

Ignoring my advice to stick with writing and avoid the video commentary, Perez Hilton goes off Rihanna and her reunion with Chris Brown and overall bad-role-modeling. I totally agree with him. He's really, really smart. His book was awesome. Though I wish he were chubby again...

I have some sad news for a few Dishreaders who hate that Javier Bardem is married to a woman. Well, as it turns out, he may even have intercourse with his wife since Penelope Cruz is pregnant AGAIN with his child. Sorry, guys. It's real, it's happening, it's A-List with an accent.

Beyonce is no longer on my list since she copped to lip-synching at the inauguration, then sang live for some Superbowl thing. Is she REALLY the Superbowl halftime show? I dunno. Am not really wowed by their choices since after Prince. It's time for my girl crush Pink--who sings live.

Thanksgiving Gravlax. Qu'est-ce que c'est?

Sundays continue to be too packed with great shows. Homeland, Dexter. Let me catch you up on both: The bad guy/protagonist can't stop banging the crazy blond ho.

TG and I made out like bandits from Dishmama's brunch fiesta today. We will go anywhere for free food. My husband hates the idea of me in the kitchen -- especially since my idea of deliciousness is Potato Bud flakes swimming in an ocean of Land O' Lakes and parmesan, the breakfast of champions with mild food and body image issues. Wash it down with some caffeine free Diet Coke. DM saves lives!

Rihanna shows me everyday the truth about love. It involves taking a picture of your squeeze while he's sleeping, which proves you're doing it and c'est tres serious. Tonight, I'm going to catch TG mid-snore,* maybe give him some fake tattoos and little Sharpie mustache, then post on Twitter.

* Teenagers have done this already and posted the pics on FB. Another reason why the young are awesome!

Sandy Is Getting Her Own Reality Show!

The biggest celeb right now is Sandy, that PMSing brain child of Mother Nature. Gotta love her for striking during the work week, which could impede my commute, goshdurnnit Yipee skippee!!!.  I'm just thankful this storm is blanketing the election nonsense. TG and I have slacked as far as preparing for the destruction and mayhem. I figure I'll go buy a box of Snickers, some baby wipes (? Brad Pitt says they're awesome), and D batteries, even though I don't have anything that takes them.

So, the rape talk continues and my new favorite person, Melissa Harris-Perry, just did this open letter to stale-GOP-gaffers. Thank you, Melissa, for articulating so beautifully what I've always thought to be true: that survivors of rape are the gift.

I've tried to ignore the signs that Rihanna and Chris Brown are together, that they might attend the VMAs together. I just watch this video and think she dodged a bullet back then. But now, she's in his crosshairs again. That can't be good. I give up on Rihanna and will focus on the genius of Eminem. Today, I had a panic attack for no reason while waiting for the elevator. I felt silly for it. Why then? So, then I queued up my favorite things and here's one of them. Here's another.

And lastly, I have to thank Dishbrothersidekick for telling me that there's a new Good Witch movie tonight, The Good Witch's Charm. I can't get enough of that witchy Catherine Bell. Sadly, TG is watching a documentary on bin Laden. SEXY!

We Were on The Today Show...

...for a split second yesterday. Our appearance is so minimal that I haven't even watched. You know I can't get enough of seeing myself on TV. Well, I'm also a mite angry at Matt for his extreme douchiness so avoid The Today Show. The segment was on Facebook, which is responsible for my marriage (Skype and our high school helped). By the way, Robin Roberts is doing well after bone marrow transplant. Go GMA Team!

Lots of sensational news. By sensational, I mean over the top. Ben and Courtney from The Bachelor broke up! He's semi-hideous and she is crazy.* How long could it last? I'm only await the announcement that Jef and Emily are also splitsville. Let's not pretend that these reality shows create real couples. It is simply a way for one person to have sex/get drunk/make out with as many people as possible.

If things couldn't get more sick, the rumor mill alleges Chris Brown and Rihanna are "friends" again, which is code for banging. I don't see how this could end in a good way. Maybe when we stop caring about them, they'll go on Couples Therapy, which is a super-lame, trainwreck of a show, not at all devoted to therapy but peacocking for the cameras and starting fights. I COULD DO THAT! Hello, TG and I are masters of antics. I even have a purple wig.

Adele's song for the new James Bond Skyfall is out. I sort of like it. Very classic and Bondesque, like older Bond songs. Of course my fave is Duran Duran's View to a Kill, The Living Daylights by A-Ha, then Another Way to Die with Gods Jack White and Alicia Keys.

Speaking of Bond, my favorite JB of all time will be hosting SNL this weekend. I hope he's hilarious.

*just as they appear on the show, which I'm sure is not real life.

Cause If You Don't Look Good, We Don't Look Good

The passing of another legend: hair god Vidal Sassoon, whose commercials were such a vital part of Dish's formative years, is now styling bobs in heaven. I can't take another high profile death. Need some soothing decaf Earl Grey--or an episode of The Shield.

In stormy couple news: Sean Bean was arrested for harassing his fourth ex-wife. You'd think a dishy actor could just find someone else and not resort to these childish antics. Then again, an arrest is as good as a sex tape. You can sleep easy tonight because the Johnny Depp/Vanessa Paradis union is intact. I've finally emerged from my fog.

In violence: Rihanna unfollowed Chris Brown--finally. If Twitter had been invented in 1982, it might have documented how many times I walked by LB's house. This did nothing to further my cause so I joined the track team just to be near him, hauling my cookies in the 100-meter dash (the shortest distance). Dish was slow. SJ got to him first and they made out like 12 y.o.s as I huffed across the finish line, dead last. I'm pretty sure I dodged a bullet, though.

Not Much for a Saturday...

...except that Dish has procured a celebrity LETTER, handwritten (probably by an assistant) but it's mine, mine, mine. It's not addressed to me, but I have it. Will spend all day tomorrow analyzing handwriting.

Camille Grammer is not returning to RHoBH which makes me respect her even more. What a sane decision, though it'll be sad not to see her.

The rumor mill has Ashton and Rihanna dating. This smells like fabrication to revive their reps. Now that he's Demi-less, people don't see him as so interesting and with all the Chris Brown flack, Rihanna seems emotionally crippled. Why not put them together?

KK might be pressing charges against the woman who threw flour at her. Really? I'd be pissed in case it was anthrax, but following through on this seems like a big nothing.

Happiness is when his flight is delayed one day!

Not many people were flying 5,000 miles away last night, including TG. He leaves in a couple hours for his destination, but it was a happy surprise that he came home last night (though he did interrupt my Kardashian catch-up).

While perusing my latest catalog, I realized a fabulous fertility tip: become a Victoria's Secret model. Half of them are pregnant or just had babies. I'll start my liquid diet right now. Where's my whey milkshake, TG?

TG and I saw The Artist yesterday. Totally charming and brings back the luster of a bygone era. Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo are brilliant together. Dish blubbered over that damn dog, who should win an Oscar or at least be nominated. I would cast him instead of humans in a whole host of movies.

Beyonce may have had her baby. Wasn't her pregnancy a strange one? It seemed just yesterday she announced it and her bump kept changing. But then she and Jay-Z were always secretive about their relaysh.

There were rumors of Chris Brown and Rihanna reuniting. Dear Lord in Heaven, let this not happen. Don't they each have enough people to prevent this? Once you get a smack, don't go back!