It's a Good Thing I'm Home

Can I just say that the world went to hell with Dish and TG in France? Three senseless--and young--celebrity deaths (RIP, Lee Thompson Young, Gia Allemand and Lisa Robin Kelly), Criminal Minds's Thomas Gibson catfished (with totally embarrassing hot tub video--and yes, I had to look up what catfished meant) and an online feud between between Perez Hilton and Lady Gaga, Katie Couric and Kim Kardashian. Can we all simmer down, believe in ourselves and take stock of what's good in our lives again?

It's okay now. We're home.

Vacation verdict: It was so wonderful to experience Paris with TG. We dined, walked, spoke French, and our digestive tracts will never be the same. As we took in sumptuous sights, I also realized how much I love being a New Yorker (even though I hate it too, which is so New York).

Breakups and Babies!

I liked the pairing of Rachel McAdams and Michael Sheen (who had a baby with Kate Beckinsale) so their recent breakup makes me wonder where we're headed as a society. They could have made The Notebook II. Now he might have to go back to playing Tony Blair forever. She'll take over where Jennifer Garner has left off. I don't like it.

Today Perez Hilton announced that he is a dad. I bet he'll be great at it--said with absolutely no WASP sarcasm. He's smart, has resources and seems to have a moral compass. Again, no sarcasm. I really mean it.

The best part about today--other than clean laundry, covert purchase of another Jersey Boys ticket and secret eating of mini-Rittersport and hiding evidence before TG could see it--is that Duran Duran's John Taylor now has dual citizenship, i.e. he and I are both Americans. I will now speak with a British accent!

TG is eating tripe soup. Major ewwww. Do all boys eat like that?

RIP, Ed Koch!

I never lived in NYC during the reign of Mayor Koch, but I certainly visited often and he's an icon of this city. He had some ups and downs in politics. Still so sad to hear the news of his passing. Giuliani spent most of his time in drag on SNL, but Koch did better with his stint on Sex and the City. He made his mark.

Ignoring my advice to stick with writing and avoid the video commentary, Perez Hilton goes off Rihanna and her reunion with Chris Brown and overall bad-role-modeling. I totally agree with him. He's really, really smart. His book was awesome. Though I wish he were chubby again...

I have some sad news for a few Dishreaders who hate that Javier Bardem is married to a woman. Well, as it turns out, he may even have intercourse with his wife since Penelope Cruz is pregnant AGAIN with his child. Sorry, guys. It's real, it's happening, it's A-List with an accent.

Beyonce is no longer on my list since she copped to lip-synching at the inauguration, then sang live for some Superbowl thing. Is she REALLY the Superbowl halftime show? I dunno. Am not really wowed by their choices since after Prince. It's time for my girl crush Pink--who sings live.

Americal Idol and Are You Watching Lance?

I only watch the first episode of American Idol--to see the freaks and the new judges. I expected Mariah to be way more Mariah, but she couldn't get in good finger-pointing and dagger-eyes because Nicki Minaj chewed the scenery, her hair, Randy's hair, then was just a pain in the ass. I guess Minaj had "provide the ratings" in her contract, along with her fantastic wigs. By contrast, Mimi was the voice of reason. At first the girls got a little fake catty like Real Housewives and I thought, no, please don't. The feud between them, so pretend. TG and I are rooting for The Turbanator and the farm girl.

Tonight is the interview with Lance. Perez Hilton asserts that Lance is coming clean because he has to raise money. I dunno. I think it's to subconsciously replicate his cancer battle. His career is dead. Can he resurrect himself? We have a long history of forgiving a-holes, though usually just for sexual misconduct.

Speaking of sexual, the tabs say that Dita Von Teese and Russell Crowe had a steamy liaison. I can almost see it! And why wouldn't they? I don't see marriage, but I do see chemistry and good old-fashioned Hollywood hookup awesomeness.

A special blessing to Conrad Bain of Diff'rent Strokes and Dear Abby's Pauline Phillips, who passed away. Two greats gone. It don't matter that you got not a lot. They'll have theirs, you'll have yours and I'll have mine. And together we'll be fine. And, how can we live without those advice columns? In case you're feeling the void, I'd be happy to dish out advice (except I'm not licensed in anything--except an MA in French). That's just how nosy gossipy I am.