Americal Idol and Are You Watching Lance?

I only watch the first episode of American Idol--to see the freaks and the new judges. I expected Mariah to be way more Mariah, but she couldn't get in good finger-pointing and dagger-eyes because Nicki Minaj chewed the scenery, her hair, Randy's hair, then was just a pain in the ass. I guess Minaj had "provide the ratings" in her contract, along with her fantastic wigs. By contrast, Mimi was the voice of reason. At first the girls got a little fake catty like Real Housewives and I thought, no, please don't. The feud between them, so pretend. TG and I are rooting for The Turbanator and the farm girl.

Tonight is the interview with Lance. Perez Hilton asserts that Lance is coming clean because he has to raise money. I dunno. I think it's to subconsciously replicate his cancer battle. His career is dead. Can he resurrect himself? We have a long history of forgiving a-holes, though usually just for sexual misconduct.

Speaking of sexual, the tabs say that Dita Von Teese and Russell Crowe had a steamy liaison. I can almost see it! And why wouldn't they? I don't see marriage, but I do see chemistry and good old-fashioned Hollywood hookup awesomeness.

A special blessing to Conrad Bain of Diff'rent Strokes and Dear Abby's Pauline Phillips, who passed away. Two greats gone. It don't matter that you got not a lot. They'll have theirs, you'll have yours and I'll have mine. And together we'll be fine. And, how can we live without those advice columns? In case you're feeling the void, I'd be happy to dish out advice (except I'm not licensed in anything--except an MA in French). That's just how nosy gossipy I am.