We Were on The Today Show...

...for a split second yesterday. Our appearance is so minimal that I haven't even watched. You know I can't get enough of seeing myself on TV. Well, I'm also a mite angry at Matt for his extreme douchiness so avoid The Today Show. The segment was on Facebook, which is responsible for my marriage (Skype and our high school helped). By the way, Robin Roberts is doing well after bone marrow transplant. Go GMA Team!

Lots of sensational news. By sensational, I mean over the top. Ben and Courtney from The Bachelor broke up! He's semi-hideous and she is crazy.* How long could it last? I'm only await the announcement that Jef and Emily are also splitsville. Let's not pretend that these reality shows create real couples. It is simply a way for one person to have sex/get drunk/make out with as many people as possible.

If things couldn't get more sick, the rumor mill alleges Chris Brown and Rihanna are "friends" again, which is code for banging. I don't see how this could end in a good way. Maybe when we stop caring about them, they'll go on Couples Therapy, which is a super-lame, trainwreck of a show, not at all devoted to therapy but peacocking for the cameras and starting fights. I COULD DO THAT! Hello, TG and I are masters of antics. I even have a purple wig.

Adele's song for the new James Bond Skyfall is out. I sort of like it. Very classic and Bondesque, like older Bond songs. Of course my fave is Duran Duran's View to a Kill, The Living Daylights by A-Ha, then Another Way to Die with Gods Jack White and Alicia Keys.

Speaking of Bond, my favorite JB of all time will be hosting SNL this weekend. I hope he's hilarious.

*just as they appear on the show, which I'm sure is not real life.

Fess Up, Your Majesty! You're Totally in Love with James Bond!!!

There was an urgency in Dishmama's voice when she called me. The woman's been scouring online rags, no doubt dying of boredom in her sickbed (she's recovering, FYI). Go to Paris Match's website STAT, she ordered. See? It's James Bond and the Queen. Do you think she dyed her hair to meet him? It looks so silvery. Doesn't she look happy? He's the best James Bond ever, I said knowing it was blasphemy but still how I feel. Interesting, she responded noncommittally, shutting down the notion of Dishmama and Dish having a girls' night watching Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. Bottom line, she said: Bond might be opening the Olympic games this summer. Methinks Dishmama Queen Elizabeth has un petit crush on Monsieur Craig!

Good news all around today for the OMPs: Bruce Willis's wife gave birth to his fourth girl. Congratulations on a super-estrogen family! Our favorite comedic actor with anger management issues just got engaged! Think back to last summer when Alec Guinness Baldwin was Twitter-flirting with his then cutie-patootie yoga instructor. Now she's got a rock. Who says helping a celeb exercise doesn't pay off?

The Killing: Nice twists, still too slow. Linden is such a bad mother.