Fess Up, Your Majesty! You're Totally in Love with James Bond!!!

There was an urgency in Dishmama's voice when she called me. The woman's been scouring online rags, no doubt dying of boredom in her sickbed (she's recovering, FYI). Go to Paris Match's website STAT, she ordered. See? It's James Bond and the Queen. Do you think she dyed her hair to meet him? It looks so silvery. Doesn't she look happy? He's the best James Bond ever, I said knowing it was blasphemy but still how I feel. Interesting, she responded noncommittally, shutting down the notion of Dishmama and Dish having a girls' night watching Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. Bottom line, she said: Bond might be opening the Olympic games this summer. Methinks Dishmama Queen Elizabeth has un petit crush on Monsieur Craig!

Good news all around today for the OMPs: Bruce Willis's wife gave birth to his fourth girl. Congratulations on a super-estrogen family! Our favorite comedic actor with anger management issues just got engaged! Think back to last summer when Alec Guinness Baldwin was Twitter-flirting with his then cutie-patootie yoga instructor. Now she's got a rock. Who says helping a celeb exercise doesn't pay off?

The Killing: Nice twists, still too slow. Linden is such a bad mother.

Happy Birthday, Simon Le Bon!!!

And he was in Page Six today, rocking his Kenneth-Branagh-Much-Ado beard. Dish had to Google the Standard Hotel, shameful given close residency to this fine establishment. Dishcolleague, who also went to the MSG concert on Tuesday, sat five feet in front of the Le Bons and Taylors. She confirmed a well-known fact: That Yasmin Le Bon is still the most beautiful woman on Earth.

Another talented beauty and Renaissance woman Rita Wilson not only produces films but will be releasing an album in February 2012. Let's hope this Hollywood housewife (though she's way more than that) CAN sing. I will get it the minute it comes out because I've liked her since Bonfire of the Vanities, one of the world's suckiest movies that I still love to watch. Because it's all cyclical: one of its stars Bruce Willis and his wife Emma Heming have a baby on the way.

Eternal jackass and no shining example of fatherhood Michael Lohan was released from jail only to harass his ex again and get busted fleeing from police. Some people just belong behind bars. Landfill.