A Moment of Reverence for Duran Duran Exes (and Two Currents)

After watching the "Hungry Like the Wolf" video for the 76th time on MTV, my 14 y.o. self agonized over the inevitable pain I would feel if Simon, John, and Nick* ever found true love. I had to work fast. Then came the evil Duran Duran vacation in Montserrat with no shortage of press coverage. Duran girlfriends were everywhere, laughing with hands on precious Duran limbs. My heart hemorrhaged. The blade went deeper when Nick married Julie Anne with flamingos and matching lipgloss. My junior year, Simon married a goddess. The final nail was John's relationship with Renee Simonsen, that gorgeous model who was on every cover. The wound reopened with his marriage to Amanda. I had to accept the facts, though inside I seethed over the audacity of these no-doubt manipulative vixens.

Many decades later, my degree of separation from the boys has lessened to about 1 and 1/2 and my adolescent bitterness has miraculously vanished. (I think Dishmama is vomiting with disgust right now. I'll get back to deeper thinking soon, Mommycakes!). It took Yasmin Le Bon dancing by me during a recent concert to make me forget I was having a panic attack. She just looked so happy grooving to music. I then did the same and ignored the shakes. Amanda's The Conversation dazzled me last week, and now, I've just discovered the blog/website of Julie Anne Rhodes. I'm completely inspired by her. Her site made me want to cook and we all know Dish barely boils water**. My hat's off to this talented woman. I won't even start with Gela Nash-Taylor and the Juicy Couture empire.

Reinvention is possible and necessary over the course of a woman's life. Jealousy is mostly pointless. We have to root for each other instead. Right, girls?

*Andy was already married and, as we all know, Roger and I are the same person so it never would have worked. TG is a Simon, 4 sure.
**I can cook secretly but choose not to--I starch and iron TG's clothes instead.

I'm Gonna Make This Quick...

...because I am Ryan Seacrest this week, as in the hardest working man in show business. We'll tawk when Friday clears and I'm getting used to knitting mohair with toddler sized needles.

Very sad: Joe Frazier died. May he rest in peace and I hope his family is hanging in there. Liver cancer sucks!

Vienna and Kasey from Bachelor Pad might have broken up. I didn't see that coming. I mean, two unappealing reality stars deciding to part ways--it hurts right here.

I wouldn't be a good Duran Duran fanatic if I didn't show their recent movie/music video for "Girl Panic" where they do what they do best: worship models. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSMbOuNBV0s&feature=feedu. It's very glitzy and suggestive, but I've grown weary of the models in leather panties. Expected more and, please don't hate me. We've been getting the babes with the long legs and champagne since 1983. The good: Naomi Campbell excels as Simon Le Bon. Cindy Crawford reeks of iconic beauty and sex. Yasmin and Eva, awesome! When it comes to DD, I can't be a Yes Man. On second look realized: It's beautifully shot, but the editing makes it hard to watch. Doesn't make good enough use of the glamorous forty-something people. Before you have time to register an image, it cuts away, which did cause me to panic (same as with the second Jason Bourne movie). I could re-edit it on my iPad2. I know exactly how to fix this stinker. Did I mention that I say this with the deepest love?

Happy Birthday, Simon Le Bon!!!

And he was in Page Six today, rocking his Kenneth-Branagh-Much-Ado beard. Dish had to Google the Standard Hotel, shameful given close residency to this fine establishment. Dishcolleague, who also went to the MSG concert on Tuesday, sat five feet in front of the Le Bons and Taylors. She confirmed a well-known fact: That Yasmin Le Bon is still the most beautiful woman on Earth.

Another talented beauty and Renaissance woman Rita Wilson not only produces films but will be releasing an album in February 2012. Let's hope this Hollywood housewife (though she's way more than that) CAN sing. I will get it the minute it comes out because I've liked her since Bonfire of the Vanities, one of the world's suckiest movies that I still love to watch. Because it's all cyclical: one of its stars Bruce Willis and his wife Emma Heming have a baby on the way.

Eternal jackass and no shining example of fatherhood Michael Lohan was released from jail only to harass his ex again and get busted fleeing from police. Some people just belong behind bars. Landfill.