I Worry About Harvey Levin Most of All

And we think Ryan Seacrest is the hardest working man in show business. I'm sorry, it's Harvey Levin. Ryan just reads from cue cards, right? Harvey is a lawyer and he's also on a million shows. I watched him on The People's Court today and his eyes were at half mast. Reminded me of Kate Moss.

Headliners from 15 years ago are BACK! Monica Lewinsky and Kato Kaelin suspiciously wound up in the news around the same time. Coincidence? I think not! Hasbeens are appearing like those holes in a pot where water comes out and you have to plug them up by giving them a reality show or a book deal. Dish is a Monica fan just because if you blow the President then have no life for over a decade and everything goes to hell while he's revered and admired once again, well, that sucks. I want her to make tons of dough. I'll buy her book. Oh, and Kato said OJ did it or maybe he didn't. Whatever, he's in the news again, and this gives me gas.

Paris Hilton said something about gay men being disgusting and having AIDS. It was an outrageous thing to say but sounds like a bad joke and she was recorded.

So more about me:
Food: chicken, egg, Gatorade, 2 minuscule chocolate squares, two bites of grilled cheese before TG comandeered it.  
Run: 3 miles, sweating everywhere. Arm weights.  
Mood: Okay. Watching Bride Wars because I can't get enough of Kate Hudson.  
Aches and Pains: Back pain, gas from reading about Kato on TMZ
Today's Fave Celebrity: Uncle Willy from Restaurant Stakeout. TG and I are obsessed!!!

She's My Hero!

Ryan Seacrest caused a stir by possibly not hosting American Idol due to stomach flu. But now she's my role model because she did the show and now I will too even if I can't breathe due to flowering juniper in the air which turns me into the Scratchy Queen of the Watering Eyes.

In other news, Barack is being groovy with Jimmy Fallon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAFQIciWsF4. Barack's a little stiff, but Jimmy and the Roots have it going on.

I'm eager to know what Hershey thought of last night's Glee. Kurt definitely took several stupid pills but let's hope it resulted in lots of spontaneous makeout sessions.

The John Edwards trial seems to be revealing the ick of this man. What could he possibly do except get sh*ttier haircuts to show he's not such an elitist douche.

Happier: Katherine Heigl and Josh adopted again.
Happier still: Jason Trawick is now her Britney Spears's conservator. I want a conservator. I'm tired of writing checks and ordering takeout--I mean, cooking hot meals for my man. Can't someone hire someone to do all this for me? Jason and Papa Spears, your services are needed here. Britney and I would totally get along.

I'm Gonna Make This Quick...

...because I am Ryan Seacrest this week, as in the hardest working man in show business. We'll tawk when Friday clears and I'm getting used to knitting mohair with toddler sized needles.

Very sad: Joe Frazier died. May he rest in peace and I hope his family is hanging in there. Liver cancer sucks!

Vienna and Kasey from Bachelor Pad might have broken up. I didn't see that coming. I mean, two unappealing reality stars deciding to part ways--it hurts right here.

I wouldn't be a good Duran Duran fanatic if I didn't show their recent movie/music video for "Girl Panic" where they do what they do best: worship models. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSMbOuNBV0s&feature=feedu. It's very glitzy and suggestive, but I've grown weary of the models in leather panties. Expected more and, please don't hate me. We've been getting the babes with the long legs and champagne since 1983. The good: Naomi Campbell excels as Simon Le Bon. Cindy Crawford reeks of iconic beauty and sex. Yasmin and Eva, awesome! When it comes to DD, I can't be a Yes Man. On second look realized: It's beautifully shot, but the editing makes it hard to watch. Doesn't make good enough use of the glamorous forty-something people. Before you have time to register an image, it cuts away, which did cause me to panic (same as with the second Jason Bourne movie). I could re-edit it on my iPad2. I know exactly how to fix this stinker. Did I mention that I say this with the deepest love?

Deep Thoughts on the Emmys

Why are award shows so lame? The writers just aren't funny, the stars are acting same-old and the speeches are repetitive. How many times can you hear, "I didn't prepare anything to say. I didn't think I would win." Dish likes scandal and crazy at her awards-- like Meryl Streep saying she needs to do yoga or Jack Nicholson's talking through his butt or, yes, Ricky Gervais who makes the stars/audience tense. I love Jane Lynch. I thought she did a good job as hostess--especially the "why I'm a lesbian" and introducing the cast of Entourage, but the show dragged. Cut Emmytones, SNL dance/song number--make it a 2-hour show.

Highlights: Charlie Sheen was gracious indeed. Some lovely dresses, though Christina Hendricks's boobies are two giant air bags squashed into a dress. I couldn't look at anything else. Rainn Wilson tweeted his rage that Steve Carrell didn't get an Emmy and I'm right with him there. Kathy Griffin--looking great in red--kissed Ryan Seacrest, an abomination.

Dish was on vacation today and, aside from speculating about Jennifer Aniston being preggo or not (wearing big coat does NOT help!), watched Limitless. I still believe--for no reason--that Bradley Cooper tortures small animals (his French is better than mine so must hate him!) but keep giving him a chance. He is competent in this sh*t-fest that is an obvious reference to our current drug culture. It might have been more interesting if Billy Crudup had been cast. Robert De Niro does his usual mentoring and you have to wonder why he's in so many crappy movies. The biggest philosophical question Dish must raise: If we can take a pill to realize our fullest potential, doesn't that mean no contact with others? When you bring the hell that is other people into the mix, that renders us vulnerable and imperfect. OMG, whole point of movie. Brilliance.

That took so much effort. Time for Dancing with the Stars!!!

Blessings on Dolores Hope who passed away at 102.