I Worry About Harvey Levin Most of All

And we think Ryan Seacrest is the hardest working man in show business. I'm sorry, it's Harvey Levin. Ryan just reads from cue cards, right? Harvey is a lawyer and he's also on a million shows. I watched him on The People's Court today and his eyes were at half mast. Reminded me of Kate Moss.

Headliners from 15 years ago are BACK! Monica Lewinsky and Kato Kaelin suspiciously wound up in the news around the same time. Coincidence? I think not! Hasbeens are appearing like those holes in a pot where water comes out and you have to plug them up by giving them a reality show or a book deal. Dish is a Monica fan just because if you blow the President then have no life for over a decade and everything goes to hell while he's revered and admired once again, well, that sucks. I want her to make tons of dough. I'll buy her book. Oh, and Kato said OJ did it or maybe he didn't. Whatever, he's in the news again, and this gives me gas.

Paris Hilton said something about gay men being disgusting and having AIDS. It was an outrageous thing to say but sounds like a bad joke and she was recorded.

So more about me:
Food: chicken, egg, Gatorade, 2 minuscule chocolate squares, two bites of grilled cheese before TG comandeered it.  
Run: 3 miles, sweating everywhere. Arm weights.  
Mood: Okay. Watching Bride Wars because I can't get enough of Kate Hudson.  
Aches and Pains: Back pain, gas from reading about Kato on TMZ
Today's Fave Celebrity: Uncle Willy from Restaurant Stakeout. TG and I are obsessed!!!

Paris is now a DJ?

I'm all for Paris Hilton trying to find herself. This past week, she debuted as a DJ somewhere south of Dish. I saw the clip and, first of all, I don't get the DJ as rock star. Aren't they supposed to be off to the side, up in the booth? Where's the mystique if they stand on stage and push buttons? Not interesting at all! I say, Paris needs to go to college.

TV Land aired American Film Institute's honoring of Shirley Maclaine. I confess my eyes filled at the start-up music. A room filled with Julia, Meryl, Jack, Don Rickles (It's not always about you, Morgan Freeman!). How could I not cry a little? I love my Shirl but what the hell animal died on her head? She wore a weird wig but those sparkling blue eyes are mesmerizing. Julia did well, looks great with her tanner but...I hate to admit this...I'm turning a little. The wind tells me she might not be my imaginary best friend after all. Must consult an acquaintance in the know. Jack Nicholson should never speak in public again. It's okay because Jack Black blew everyone away, facing her reincarnation stuff head-on.

The skinny: Koda is frontrunner to take over for Ann Curry. I like that but hate that Ann Curry is being skewered. I think she's been treated like crap from Day #1. Let the tide turn and make her beloved. Octomom has a boyfriend but Dish smells a beard to get on TV.

So Dish has written her scandalous and bitchy fictitious memoirs and needs a good first name pseudonym, something modern and peppy. Any ideas?

Al Sharpton Added to Our Monday Lineup!

It seems Monday has taken over as having the most Must-See TV. The Closer, Rizzoli and Isles, A-List: New York, Bachelor Pad and now...Al Sharpton on MSNBC's Politics Nation. Once TG finds out about this, you might hear a squeal in the Chelsea area of Manhattan. He loves Al and especially commends him on his weight loss. He's so cuddly now.

In--ahem--sadder news, Paris Hilton's reality show The World According to Paris has been canceled. Face it, Kim K. has taken over.

The Will Smith/Jada drama continues with who-knows-what gossip. TMZ reports that the marriage is in trouble. That Will allegedly walked in on Jada and Hawthorne co-star Marc Anthony and left in tears. I hope this is false but thirteen years is a great run in Hollywood! Drama aside: I do think Marc Anthony is a good actor, judging from the Hawthorne promos. Such interesting timing with his split with J.Lo. But would you choose Marc over Will?

Watching The Kennedys, the one with Katie Holmes and Greg Kinnear. It is intensely boring. Don't go beyond the first episode. No wonder why no big network wanted it.

Ben Flajnik is the new Bachelor. Bleh. He seems too normal. Will skip.

Dish is getting tickets to Duran Duran at MSG tomorrow and also sent mortifying high school term paper to their management company. All in a day's work. So embarrassing. We are off to Montreal tomorrow for Honeymoon Part Deux. Let's hope Irene doesn't screw it all up.

The British Are Coming!

I go through phases of loving the Brits and loathing them. Oh you think you sound so posh because you have an accent! Dennis Quaid over Hugh Grant! Maybe not. Dishreader, in the end, I adore the Brits -- the history, literature, the royal scandals, Bridget Jones. I have a British man lulling me to sleep via hypnosis from my iPod (Thanks, Paul McKenna!) every night. I might just name my first-born after Judi Dench, Daniel Craig and all of the Durans. When I saw the commercial for the fall Maury-Povich-esque talk show featuring a Brit, I thought: I'm there. Jeremy Kyle's show seems tawdry and awesome. Simon Cowell was awesome. Yes, I want drama and I want a Brit doling out in-your-face advice. Just Youtubed the show and it got old fast. Never mind!!!

Congratulations to Mamie Gummer (Meryl Streep's daughter) and Benjamin Walker who just got hitched! Now that's a lovely young theater couple.

In quick hits: McDreamy Eric Dane has entered rehab--sounds good, all going according to plan. I love the new poster for 2 and 1/2 Men featuring Ashton.

And finally, GMA's Dan Harris is my new hero for his interview with Paris Hilton. Just watch and be amazed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ik4QFzQm46U