One Marriage Begins and Another One Ends

Kate Winslet married Ned Rocknroll (give me a break) and Leo gave her away! Isn't that sick? No really, very sweet. This is Kate's third marriage. That happens to people sometimes. My friend *Betsy* loved getting engaged because of the ring. She wound up marrying one guy but it bombed hard. She rebounded two seconds after by marrying someone else, who might have been gay. That ended pretty quickly. Now, many years later, she's single. Oh wait. Different situation entirely. Never mind! So Kate married for the first time immediately after Titanic--I like to think because she secretly loved Leo even though he pissed in the water tank during filming. Then she married a nice, steady on-the-rise director. That fizzled and now she's married someone with a fun name and who's related to Richard Branson. Fun is fun. My best wishes for the happy couple.

If you've been keeping up with your US magazine, Bettheny and Jason are done. I'm crying angry tears that there will be no more Bethenny Ever After and her kicking Jason's ass. I watched the talk show but didn't latch on. She belongs on television, screaming at people.

Mildred Pierce in Floral and Snooki in Maternity!

Dish finally got around to watching the updated Mildred Pierce and will risk J.J.'s wrath: It's boring as sh*t! Don't get me wrong, I adore how Kate Winslet stoops to convey a down-beat broad trying to make a buck. I do the same. The floral dresses, well, they just hit too close to home circa 1994 for me. Add my grandmother's hairdo and no makeup and Kate Winslet still cannot hide her gorgeousness. For me, Mildred demands a "handsome" actress. By this I mean someone who could pass as a man if given the right lighting. Glenn Close, Uma Thurman, Anjelica Huston, a couple of the Housewives, you know, someone a little she-he. Please don't send me hate mail. I have three more eps to go.

My husband doesn't know this yet. It will hurt him, as would news that one's little girl was deflowered by the grimy captain of the wrestling team. Snooki is knocked up! It's such a normal and expected thing to happen but still. Are you okay, honey? Baby's grown up now. Hiccup!

Dish is Infectious!

Due to some noxious germ, my doctor ordered me to stay under the covers for the next few days. What must a girl do but watch Contagion. I wanted to see it for many reasons:

1. Gwyneth Paltrow has a vomiting seizure with flapping limbs and everything. Awesomeness!
2. I won't watch a movie for Kate Winslet or Jude Law alone, but put them in the same flick (The Holiday) and I'm front-and-center for these hot Brits.
3. Sprinkle in a little Marion Cotillard, Matt Damon, Bryan Cranston and Lawrence Fishburn and you've got yourself an EPIDEMIC OF STARS!
4. I love disasters.

Speaking of disasters: There is so much about the potential romantic reunion of Chris Brown and Rihanna. Victims often get unnaturally attached to their attackers and when the law forbids contact, that makes it even more appealing. Sick, sick, sick. Or great publicity.

Here is enjoyable sickness in the form of genius from Sacha Baron Cohen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AAvRyro6_Y