Ann Curry Leaving Today?

According to TMZ, Ann Curry is almost out the door of Today. Dish always thought her not the ideal choice to cohost, especially with douchey Matt. Ann's soothing voice works so much better delivering news. Who could sit next to Matt? He needs someone next to him whom he's not likely to boink or want to boink. Someone for whom he'll have respect since he seems like a tool. I do love his Tom Cruise and Madonna interviews! He finesses La Madge like a fine instrument.

Just desserts: Bristol Palin's show bombed. I'm not sure why Lifetime found her story interesting for TV. I mean very little disrespect because TG and I learned today that we're not interesting either!!! We went to "audition" for a show and we put the casting people to sleep. Maybe for a Metamucil commercial, we could have sh*t colorful, perky rainbows. Alas, we're not a "fun couple." Wiping away our bitter tears, we console ourselves with the thought that we might be too educated to appear on TV. Damn you, fine education!

Carrie Underwood enraged some of her fan base by coming out for gay marriage. Nicely done, girl. Stick up for what you believe!

Kristin Davis and Aaron Sorkin a couple. I LOVE IT! I've been waiting for her to partner up forever. Charlotte pretty. Aaron crazy and smart. Maybe they need to be on TV. Oh wait...

How Long Can We Debate Whether or Not Nancy Grace Farted on DWTS?

Things like this can ruin careers. Dish feels the air around Nancy Grace was sabotaged. It's hard to take her seriously anymore, especially after the Casey Anthony case, but if girls ever did fart, they would be ruthless about sphincter control in public. Someone planted the whoopee cushion while she waited for the scores. How often does someone break wind so loudly during a crucial moment on TV? Hardly ever. I'll light a match for you, Nance!

If you wanted to believe in Bachelorette/Bachelor bliss, think again. The tabs report that Ali Fedotowski and Roberto Martinez are not happy. Dish feels that the pursuit of happiness is overrated. The founding fathers were skipping too wildly through a meadow of posies when they included this in the Declaration of Independence. Ali and Roberto must stay together if they want to remain legitimate stars. Dish saw the signs with the wedding delay. Happiness can't be sustained, Ali and Rob, unless with pharmaceuticals. Make it work!

Sharon Osbourne took our her fake tatas when one leaked into her belly. I could never get implants. What happens when you go for a five-mile run? How could you sleep on your stomach without popping one?

The Yankees lost--again. They need to ditch some expensive, ineffective players and Moneyball it.

Congratulations to Kristin Davis who adopted a little girl. Wahoo for Charlotte.