How Long Can We Debate Whether or Not Nancy Grace Farted on DWTS?

Things like this can ruin careers. Dish feels the air around Nancy Grace was sabotaged. It's hard to take her seriously anymore, especially after the Casey Anthony case, but if girls ever did fart, they would be ruthless about sphincter control in public. Someone planted the whoopee cushion while she waited for the scores. How often does someone break wind so loudly during a crucial moment on TV? Hardly ever. I'll light a match for you, Nance!

If you wanted to believe in Bachelorette/Bachelor bliss, think again. The tabs report that Ali Fedotowski and Roberto Martinez are not happy. Dish feels that the pursuit of happiness is overrated. The founding fathers were skipping too wildly through a meadow of posies when they included this in the Declaration of Independence. Ali and Roberto must stay together if they want to remain legitimate stars. Dish saw the signs with the wedding delay. Happiness can't be sustained, Ali and Rob, unless with pharmaceuticals. Make it work!

Sharon Osbourne took our her fake tatas when one leaked into her belly. I could never get implants. What happens when you go for a five-mile run? How could you sleep on your stomach without popping one?

The Yankees lost--again. They need to ditch some expensive, ineffective players and Moneyball it.

Congratulations to Kristin Davis who adopted a little girl. Wahoo for Charlotte.

And the Oscar Should Go to...

...Brad Pitt! You know Dish is serious because Brad has not always been a fave. In Moneyball--Dish's top pick for the year--he kicks one out of the park. Gorgeously shot, gripping script (thanks, once again, to Aaron Sorkin), and Jonah Hill proves he can do more than play a gawky stoner. This is what Jerry Maguire could have been. Even if you're not into baseball, it's worth the gazillions you pay in the movie theater. Don't hesitate. Go now! Let's nudge The Lion King out of that top spot!

SNL cast members Abby Elliott and Fred Armisen have split. AWKWARD! Reminds Dish of the time she walked in on very first boyfriend French kissing another girl at a party with everyone watching to see reaction. Oh wait, that's not even the same situation. Never mind!

Southwest Airlines can't keep themselves out of the news. The L Word and Yoplait commercial actress who got to kiss Gale Harold in that scary miscarriage movie Leisha Hailey was kissing her GF on the plane and, apparently, was escorted out by SW personnel. SW maintains that several passengers complained about excessive PDA (pulling off panties or just the French?). If it had been a man/woman kissing, no one would have said BOO. Dish gets uncomfortable witnessing any public sexy PDA sessions, unless with dogs, lions and birds. Then it's just fun.

Chest area casualties: Nancy Grace had an alleged nip slip on DWTS. Ellen DeGeneres had a mild heart scare and she's fine.

Sheer Genius Casting

Nancy Grace's scenery-chewing and unmoving chin-length blond hair enraged me a little during the Casey Anthony case, but I think her appearance on Dancing With the Stars will be Must-See-TV. I bet she'll be great. Redemption song! Controversy over Chaz Bono's casting and being paired with a woman. I just want to say to those who might be appalled by Chaz dancing with a woman when there are so many other issues that are *actually* appalling: Get a life.

Fans worldwide gasped collectively over news that Justin Bieber was in a car accident. But he's fine! And so is LeAnn Rimes's ex-husband who just got married, thank goodness--it's so face-saving. To keep things narcissistic, Dish noticed his new wife wears heavy black glasses, just like Dish's new Tom Ford's. And now, here's something that will make you laugh and cry.


Confession: I watched Bachelor Pad again. The show has slid into Totally Boring now that they've sent off a pivotal trainwreck. Maybe I'll go back to Proust. Talk about boring....What's not boring: Dish is seeing Duran Duran TWICE within 9 days in October. I accidentally bought seats that are VERY close for one show (too much awesomeness for me). The big question is: Will I have a myocardial infarction?