Sweet Forty-Three

I have so little to report. I woke up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep. I'm trying not to watch TV. Cheated a little with Dexter, but that's like literary, right? Back to reading, and I tend to read three books at a time. Right now it's women's fiction's Rachel Gibson Not Another Bad Date (fun!), Tony Robbins's Unlimited Power (two typos within first twenty pages but I want to see what fuss is about) and Zola's L'Assommoir (dark as f*ck but love the downward spiral).

In Starland, Brad Pitt announced that he'll quit acting in three years. THANK GOD! No seriously. He should never make those Cher/Barbra/Barry-esque comments. Loved him in Moneyball! Needs to get Oscar before he quits. Kim K is hostessing New Year's Eve in Vegas. I'm so glad she's picked herself up after the divorce stuff. Her sister Kendall got a 90K Range Rover for her sweet 16. I got a turquoise necklace!!! What gives, Dishmama? Oh wait...I just had a wedding...

And the Oscar Should Go to...

...Brad Pitt! You know Dish is serious because Brad has not always been a fave. In Moneyball--Dish's top pick for the year--he kicks one out of the park. Gorgeously shot, gripping script (thanks, once again, to Aaron Sorkin), and Jonah Hill proves he can do more than play a gawky stoner. This is what Jerry Maguire could have been. Even if you're not into baseball, it's worth the gazillions you pay in the movie theater. Don't hesitate. Go now! Let's nudge The Lion King out of that top spot!

SNL cast members Abby Elliott and Fred Armisen have split. AWKWARD! Reminds Dish of the time she walked in on very first boyfriend French kissing another girl at a party with everyone watching to see reaction. Oh wait, that's not even the same situation. Never mind!

Southwest Airlines can't keep themselves out of the news. The L Word and Yoplait commercial actress who got to kiss Gale Harold in that scary miscarriage movie Leisha Hailey was kissing her GF on the plane and, apparently, was escorted out by SW personnel. SW maintains that several passengers complained about excessive PDA (pulling off panties or just the French?). If it had been a man/woman kissing, no one would have said BOO. Dish gets uncomfortable witnessing any public sexy PDA sessions, unless with dogs, lions and birds. Then it's just fun.

Chest area casualties: Nancy Grace had an alleged nip slip on DWTS. Ellen DeGeneres had a mild heart scare and she's fine.

Desperate is not Serious

Desperate Housewives. Really bad. Someone who deserved to die died and now the wives are desperate to cover it up even though none of them did it. Plot hole city! What do you do when a show is flailing? Bring in the hunks. Enter the Scottish rogue who turned down Vanessa Williams. Throughout the whole episode, Dish kept thinking: this show needs Susan Lucci STAT! She better come quick because I don't know if I can stand any more. Saw first few minutes of Pan Am--great costumes, just okay.

Bullying: It's all over the news these days. Where was this furor when I was a kid? I wasn't gay, unathletic, too studious or even odd. I was a redhead! Dish got bullied all the time in middle school. Even today, I deal with adult bullies at least every other day and just swallow my rage. I'm glad that bullies will be ostracized, they're awful but...why all the coddling now when bullies are EVERYWHERE and always have been? Please don't send me hate mail. I am heartbroken that kids are committing suicide over bullies. I'm just bitter because fat little J_____ didn't get thrown in jail for making my life miserable. Though I did kick his voluminous butt one day when I'd reached my limit, even though he outweighed me by 100 pounds and had slower reflexes. Maybe there does need to be more policing since kids have more lethal weapons today...and they use them. With Lady GaGa involved, something might get done.

Dish is seeing Moneyball at the Director's Guild tonight. Excited! Love movies involving sports.

TGI-Getting Crap Scared Out of Me Via A Haunting

Do not get addicted to this show. Real ghost stories told in dramatic fashion. TG and I are hooked, though he just revealed he doesn't believe in ghosts. This after we both download Ghosttracker on our iPads and communicate regularly with spirits (okay, maybe that's margarita and scotch). But tonight I learned how dangerous Ouija boards are and I have one unwrapped. I'm too afraid to open the gateway.

Can you believe this is more exciting than anything else in the tabloids? Well, some sad news--that HawthoRNe got canceled which means Jada and Marc Anthony are unemployed. Lindsay Lohan parked in front of a hydrant because she can't help getting into trouble. Then, remember that icky story of a billionaire's son who died, then his girlfriend was found hanging a week later? Well, the girlfriend's death was ruled a suicide and her family is pissed. Sounds suspicious to Dish, too, very Dateline.

Thanks to a comment, it hits home that all tabloid news goes to promote a show/movie or to keep a fading star current. Modern oracle of Delphi Tom Cruise was right--that it's all lies. Julia's alleged over-vodka-drinking--Eat Pray Love; Brad's wandering eye? Moneyball. Madonna's boy toy pics? W.E. And it goes on and on and on. Mel Gibson's arrests and alleged domestic abuse? Okay, maybe he is crazy. Can you tell Dish is jaded?