Al Roker Gets My Attention for More Than His Weight Loss!

Al Roker dissed Matt Lauer on The Today Show with a passive-aggressive zinger (Dish's fave!) about Matt's throwing colleagues under the bus. Genius, Al! Wonder if this Matt-diss was a way to drum up ratings. GMA countered with its own drama with the alleged a-holery of Josh Elliott. This is so much like the Presidential campaign in progress. All drama, no substance.

Apparently Kristen Stewart is pissed she's the fall girl for cheating with her married director. Why doesn't the guy get the blame? Because he's a loser and no one knows who he is. Plus, Kristen has destroyed the fantasies of so many teens and hormonal soccer moms by hurting RPatz. Predict epic turnout for Twilight movie out in November. All drama, no substance.

David Beckham is getting such buzz over his latest underwear ad where he seems to be mid-happyplace. Parents are outraged. (My neighborhood is celebrating in the streets--champagne, everyone!) Dish feels, oh yeah, outraged? Might as well take down every female crotch-boob-butt shot slathered all over the place for hundreds of years. Give the boys their due to be fourteen-feet long and naked. DB's tattoos are kinda grody though.

Making Light of Atrocity

Dish loves un-PC and off-color jokes but it takes skill to make 9/11 or the latest Batman tragedy funny. Comedians push the "funny atrocity" envelope, I think, to get into tabloids and they almost always fail. Most recently, Dane Cook did it and Jeff Ross followed suit in the Roast of Roseanne. Maybe South Park is successful at this. The Book of Mormon is the only instance where I laughed hysterically at child sexual abuse and AIDS. Otherwise, why go there?

Monday's news was light or maybe I am too focused on my cold. TG over-surfed and fell ill in California. I woke up this morning with that raw, scratchy throat. My week is busy with a viewing of Jersey Boys and then...TG and I are filming yet again on Friday. We are soooooooo famous. A cold might be a good thing. If my voice--probably my least attractive trait--is affected, I'll sound like a sexy Kathleen Turner instead of my usual Marge Simpson rasp. We can only hope. Dish will breathe in some mold and drink from TG-tainted glasses.

Please say a loud f*($k for me since my DVR erased the last three episodes of Breaking Bad. Where the hell can I find them? And please get Amanda Bynes a driver since she might have been involved in another hit and run. I have Skyline on speed-dial with their floaty Lincoln Town Cars and mysteriously quiet drivers who always get me to the church on time. Amanda, please listen.

Couples in hell: Rumor has it that J. Lo is about to dump Casper Smart. And, the kinky pair who never seemed to share a distressing moment Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen might be on Couples Therapy to repair their marriage. Smells like a desperate way to get back on TV. I don't blame them. They were fun in the spotlight.

NBC is sucking eggs right now. They fired Jack Osbourne after he announced he had MS and Sharon just quit her show. Matt Lauer swung his mighty hammer at Ann Curry's career with less than happy results. And today, Matt Lauer used the term "Indian Giver" on The Today Show. Oh so glib, Matt. Talk about making light....

Obama Care Stays, Ann Curry Goes

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Wasn't that Leo Tolstoy? JK. Maybe. So, Dish was watching Fox News (just for Judge Alex) when they broke through with the URGENT and DIRE decision to keep Obama-care. There was a lot of sighing and head-shaking. I still feel Obama should have gone further with this policy but I'll take this victory! (Vote Hillary)

Earlier this morning came another history-making event: Ann Curry announcing that she's leaving Today. This is probably one of the most awkward TV moments that I've ever witnessed--especially Matt's suggestion that she might jump out of a plane soon: .

Matt Lauer is a douche*. I haven't watched this show since Katie Couric left, but I hope that this botched departure hurts Today's ratings. And I hope Ann Curry's popularity grows exponentially! (Thanks, TMZ!)

I predict continued low ratings. Meredith Viera was a hard act to follow.

*So are the "high priority" emails flooding my inbox. Nothing is that urgent. Really. It's making Dish cranky.

Ann Curry Leaving Today?

According to TMZ, Ann Curry is almost out the door of Today. Dish always thought her not the ideal choice to cohost, especially with douchey Matt. Ann's soothing voice works so much better delivering news. Who could sit next to Matt? He needs someone next to him whom he's not likely to boink or want to boink. Someone for whom he'll have respect since he seems like a tool. I do love his Tom Cruise and Madonna interviews! He finesses La Madge like a fine instrument.

Just desserts: Bristol Palin's show bombed. I'm not sure why Lifetime found her story interesting for TV. I mean very little disrespect because TG and I learned today that we're not interesting either!!! We went to "audition" for a show and we put the casting people to sleep. Maybe for a Metamucil commercial, we could have sh*t colorful, perky rainbows. Alas, we're not a "fun couple." Wiping away our bitter tears, we console ourselves with the thought that we might be too educated to appear on TV. Damn you, fine education!

Carrie Underwood enraged some of her fan base by coming out for gay marriage. Nicely done, girl. Stick up for what you believe!

Kristin Davis and Aaron Sorkin a couple. I LOVE IT! I've been waiting for her to partner up forever. Charlotte pretty. Aaron crazy and smart. Maybe they need to be on TV. Oh wait...