October Surprise Party!!!

These surprises can only be good for the Democrats. It makes me tired to write them all out so I'll just link to them! The first shows Mitt in an unflattering light when it comes to his support of women, especially sick women on the verge of divorce. The second is  Donald Trump's October surprise. I sort of feel that this is his initiation into the KKK via ransom note. Mr. Trump, we don't negotiate with terrorists. Oh, and in case you're interested: I flunked economics at Oberlin College! How's that for a transcript?


I love it when the stars sue the tabs though I'm a bit tabby. This time Tom Cruise is suing Life & Style for 50 million for printing that he abandoned his daughter. Team Tom!!! Suri is so cute and fashionable. Plus, don't you think the world would turn anti-Tom if he cut ties with the bambina? He's never going to do that. I'll admit, the photos of Tom spoiling Suri rotten make me happy. Why can't he be my daddy? Oh yeah...biologically not possible and psychologically twisted.

Today, I'm shedding tears for Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez who allegedly was discarded by Eva Langoria. How did he lose her? With a mug like his, I don't see how he'll ever find love again. Plus, he's a wallflower with no money or prospects for greatness. What chance did he ever have to sip the nectar of Cupid's sweet amore? Will this affect his throwing arm? There go the waterworks again.

In more celebrity splits, Jessica Simpson's mom and dad are divorcing and there are gay rumors floating about the father. All I remember is Papa Joe discussing Jessica's virginity and how she gave her husband--then, Nick Lachey--her precious gift and I thought, ew.

Bobby Brown bust for DUI again. It's his prerogative.

Mama, Gives Me My Pills!!! I Needs Another Oscar!!!

I fantasize daily about watching bad movies and eating popcorn with Meryl and Julia but I'm not sure I want to see them in a movie together. Today I read that they're set to star in the movie version of August: Osage County, which you know will be all acty, acty, acty--like maybe Erin Brockovich was a gimme and now she wants to do a real meaty role without hiking up her boobs. I can already hear her practicing, "Mama?" Clearly, she doesn't take Dish's advice to do another ROMANTIC COMEDY. Please! And co-star with someone as hot as she is. She and Meryl already have an Oscar. Please, do it for your loyal fans, Julia! No more serious angsty flicks where you don't get EXACTLY what you want in the end and by that I mean Getting The Guy. And don't Eat Pray Love your way through it because you had Too Much candy in that movie. Oh dear, this is turning into a stalker rant. I could watch you brush your hair, Julia. In fact, can't I? I'm having a diva moment because I'm going to be on TV soon. What am I going to wear?

If only Kim Kardashian were here to style me (segue). Speaking of, she's allegedly secretly dating Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez who seems to have dipped his nib everywhere if you believe all gossip. My burning--feverish and not in an STD way--question: Is Kim's addicted to athletes? This never works out in the end.

My dreams were almost realized (no, not the major Duran Duran one) when I read that Adam Lambert was the new front man for Queen. It may not be true, but I've been wanting this since his AI season. He is the closest they'll get to Freddie magic, though I know FM can never be replaced. Adam's got golden pipes, a real glam presence and being in a band might settle him down. It would get me to one of his shows, for sure.