I'm Ready for My Botox

Dish had her first procedure yesterday, the most serious since wisdom teeth extraction 1993. Yes, my derm froze off a patch of sun-damaged skin on my cheek. I showed off the hideous scab to random neighbor in elevator and he said, "I don't know what to say." Say that it's awesome! Derm was so nice and I hinted that I might get Botox, but he didn't take up the thread of conversation. You'd think he wanted me out the door fast. Hey, buddy, it's not everyone who gets to see me in my underpants! Maybe in 1996 and 2005...

Everyone's talking about Kate's pregnancy. Because I want to give the royal couple their privacy, I won't say another word--except that I now know so much about that Hideous Gravarium condition aka Yakking- Constantly-Due-to-Bun-in-the-Oven-itis. They're even speculating about twins--Gaggus Majoris!

Rob Kardashian barely got his sh*t together to start a sock line, but he did find the time to call his ex a whore on twitter. Wasn't he supposed to go to law school?


And now I shall retire to focus on my enviable state--the need to gain 6 pounds. The sound of my bones scraping together, not cool. Thank the lords, it's raining corn muffins and vanilla lattes!!!

Rest in Peace, Marvin Hamlisch

Dish's appreciation of Hamlisch was tainted by a family member who thought his tunes sappy and overblown. You can't deny Hamlisch changed the world with his music. My favorite soundtrack of his was The Mirror Has Two Faces A Chorus Line. He made some magic.

In lesser news, Rob Kardashian is going to law school, which is awesome. A Kardashian choosing education over "the scene?" I'm feeling dizzy, though a noxious cold still controls my system. TG's first words to me this morning, "Your cold isn't as bad as mine. I have strep AND a virus." This after I said good morning and no sound came out.

Movie appreciation: Friends with Kids. I'm always reluctant to see a Jennifer Westfeldt flick because of The Voice. Adored Kissing Jessica Stein though her whining got to me. FwK is utterly adorable and so is Westfeldt, mellow yet perky. It's kinda predictable but a sweet escape. She looks different from every other Hollywood actress. She is different -- writes, acts and directs. Who has the energy for that? In this one, you'll find some NYC indie mainstays such as Ed Burns Turlington, Don Draper, Adam Scott and Maya Rudolph. Watch it for a touching, easy breezy beautiful Cover Girl experience.

Happy Birthday, Steven Tyler!

With this headline, other news makes me yawn--such as:

Dish-birthday-sharer Brian Austin Green might be sued for allegedly being mean to a pap, Rob Kardashian arrested for a joke gone bad with a pap. Maybe the moral of the story is: Stay away, Paps! Take pictures of me instead. I may be old and not as thin as the celebs but I promise I'm infinitely more interesting. And I will answer all your questions IN LURID DETAIL! The camera loves me and the feeling is mutual.

The Hunger Games had a record breaking weekend.

Bobby Brown was arrested for DUI. Tra la la la!

What did you think of last night's Mad Men? Dish almost fell asleep at the wheel after twenty minutes but powered through to the bitter end. With so much television to choose from, should I let go of this stylish yet slow-paced show?