Wednesday Tarot

7 of Swords (Reversed): You might have strayed from the Yellow Brick Road. Go back and retrace your steps. No biggie.

Happy Birthday, Nick Rhodes!

Today Duran Duran's keyboardist turns 49 and Dishcommunity hopes he has the best of days! Watch this important address: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqNRvldMBDc&feature=player_embedded.

Extra, Extra!

Such crazy news of late! Do I have to relay the headlines? What's been dominating the airwaves??? Okay, I'll tell you: Josh Duhamel is returning to All My Children before it ends in September. I know, big news, huge. This is where Dish first recognized him as another average good-looking actor, then he made it big (as did Weiner--sorry! It just slipped out of my pants) in Vegas and married Fergie. Now it's unclear what he's doing beyond AMC and abusing airline personnel. SNAP!

So, can anyone tell me why the firing of Cheryl Cole is such big news? The tabloids are treating it like a natural disaster. No one was killed. A cute rich woman with dimples just got richer.

Just read my OK magazine which seems to fabricate some wild stories. Brad and Jen reuniting via phone after the death of her dog? He's trying to keep his secret phone calls from Angie (though we are privy to the info). And Jennifer Garner, pregnant again? All sounds like lies--not OK.

Tuesday Tarot

Ace of Wands: Doesn't everything seem phallic? Especially with all the Weiner references in the news. How much do you want to bet someone will write "Weiner Comes Clean" as a headline? I know, I know, his Twitterdongphotos have nothing to do with his abilities as a politician. He was creative in his lying, saying he was hacked (Did Dish call that one or what?). How does this relate to you? Well, the Ace of Wands says you will have a very creative opportunity today. You should take it. You never know...

Don't send sexy pics, though, since they have a nasty habit of resurfacing.

Star Sighting--Leeza Gibbons!!!

I won't say in which capacity I got to meet Leeza Gibbons, but let's just say we were shopping at Bergdorf's together (not true). After she called me "Peaches" (not my name but I will totally answer to it if that's what she deems appropriate), we engaged in easy small talk. The woman is quite gorgeous, friendly and gives great eye contact. Of course, Dish was sweating through two layers of clothing, tripping over words but managed to tell the story of marrying TG. LG just got married as well and we agreed those later-in-life unions are awesome. Her husband was a sweetheart. Did not ask her about her passion for scrapbooking or suggest a "crafts" day. If it were Julia, you know we'd be in a knitting store yesterday.

If you watched the MTV Movie Awards, you heard a classless array of bad Arnold jokes, overall celebration of blaah, but MTV does focus on youth, which the other award shows practically overlook. Reese Witherspoon gave an empowering speech about how you don't have to release a sex tape or have a reality show to be great.

Just as Justin Timberlake is photographed with everyone, pics have surfaced of Gerard Butler and Jessica Biel on a motorcycle together. A new low.

Monday Tarot

9 of Cups: Get your heads out of the Cutty Sark, lushes. Not 9 cups worth of 10% proof regret, but 9 Cups of wishes! Yes, today you will get something you want. I want a massive Snickers bar so I'm assuming one will just appear during the day. I'll settle for M&Ms.

Forecast: Cloudy with Chance of Sunshine

My fear of flying makes no sense. I've flown a few times a year since the womb. I love looking out the window, takeoff and landing but loathe every single bump along the way. Flying became a fear when Pan Am blew up over Lockerbee, only 20 years ago. This morning, at 8am, my plane was eerily empty with a mean flight attendant who made me put my carryon in the overhead even though my row was empty. Why do I keep flying? I wondered before resigning myself to two hours of terror. Then, a few minutes before pulling out of the gate, a couple dozen 8-year-old Indian children raucously boarded the plane, swarming around me. They were like my guardian angels.

Now that I'm home, I've caught up on the stars: Piers Morgan and his wife are preggo; X Men beat Hangover II, which shows just how crappy the latter is. Still wondering when the mystery of January Jones's babydaddy will be cleared up. Paris Hilton got skewered on The View for her scoffing at doing community service, then got mad that smarter people had the audacity to cross her. That girl's peaked already, so unless she does something new and amazing (like become articulate, get a degree of some kind), the low ratings of her show will continue. If my gramma were alive she'd kick Paris's bony butt. Whenever I spent too long in a lethargic stupor from hours of television, Gramma S.'s shoe would hit my backside until I got a bucket and started pulling weeds in the garden. I'm still a lazy sh*t.

Is it true that Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson have split? Cameron Diaz and A-Rod, too. Lastly, Olivia Wilde seems to be making up for years of not being able to sew her wild oats--linked to Bradley Cooper, Justin Timberlake and someone else, but keep forgetting. Well, good for her! (wear a condom)

Sunday Tarot

The World (Reversed): Delays, delays, delays. Would Joan Collins ever wait? Well, today she'd have to. Just make sure as you're waiting in line that you look amazing. Wipe that pinched expression off your face. You will get what you want eventually.