DNC Recap: Day 2

Dish is trying to be a little objective but it's so difficult. Am I right in concluding that the speakers for the DNC are just better? Sure, their message is better to Dish, but I fell in love with Reagan back in the late 70s/80s and he totally screwed us. Anyway, here's what you missed:

Nancy Pelosi: A little blah, but she stated the facts.
Sister Simone Campbell from Nuns on a Bus: (with a smile) Paul Ryan sucks ass.
The Bain people: Romney just wants the $$$.
Sandra Fluke: Duh, 2+2=4. Romney: Evil; Obama: Good -- using way bigger words. Short and sweet. She's powerful!
Elizabeth Warren: I have this Republican male friend who gets borderline violent about Warren. He goes after her with this venom I don't understand. Because she's not a canned politician, thereby easy to rip apart. And she's female.
Bill Clinton: 48 minutes of awesomeness (a little long). He explained complicated ideas in simple terms--is probably the first to tell the truth about aspects of the candidates' platforms. Did not mind the length. I did mind that he foamed at the mouth on the right side. Since the heart surgeries, losing weight, going vegan, he's become an angry bitch--and I love it!

Democratic Convention: Day 1

So far, bias aside, the DRC has better speakers and is diverse almost to the breaking point. Here's my recap.

Tammy Duckworth: I've been through a lot of sh*t. Vote Obama. (What a heroine!)
Deval Patrick: Screw Romney. I won't go on about how awesome I am. You can tell by my gift of gab. The first rousing speech where people couldn't stop screaming with pleasure.
Lilly Ledbetter: LOVE HER!!!
Sandra Fluke being questioned by CNN: If this is what the future looks like, I feel better. Very articulate young woman. Not a single "like" and "you know."
Julian Castro: Adorable, earnest, not quite as polished with speechifying but he'll get there.
Michelle Obama: She always gives good speech. Loved her dress (wanted to fix hair). Down to earth. Would enjoy throwing back a few beers with her and talk smack about stars.

My favorite of the night: Deval Patrick

Tonight is Big Bodacious Bill. I am DVRing since I'm seeing Jersey Boys again with Dishmama. We are such whores for this show.

Catching up on Real Housewives of New York City: Aviva is nasty. At first I thought, aw, I feel bad for her. She's a real role model for those who've lost limbs. She has phobias (much like Dish's but I have no excuse for mine) and survived. But with each episode, I see how petty, mean, and ill-tempered she is. Surviving trauma doesn't mean you can be an a-hole.

I Didn't Do It

Dish in Sicily, 1989.

But Before the Democratic Convention Starts

Prince Philip Takes a Cue from Dirty Harry! There's a pic from TMZ where our favorite geezer shows us a member of his royal staff. Sadly, his wang is blocked out and I can't find it anywhere. Oh wait, no I didn't just write that. Sorry, Mom! Curiosity is getting the best of me.

Remember how I said I didn't care about Tom Cruise's personal life? Okay, scratch that. If director Paul Haggis is seconding the Vanity Fair story about Tom's finding a new wife, I'm IN! Now I must find a copy of the mag. And yet, if that's how Tom wants to find a wife, it's very efficient. Arranged marriage are really not so awful as long as both parties are complicit.

Nicki Minaj is voting Republican. You just never know which side the stars fall on, so I had to Google a little. Registered Republicans include Adam Sandler, Heather Locklear, Dean Cain, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jessica Simpson, Susan Lucci, Bruce Willis, Kelsey Grammer. Registered Democrats that surprised me a little: Eminem, Faith Hill, Hulk Hogan, Jerry Springer, Jack Nicholson, Harrison Ford.

Bachelor Pad was so ugly last night, especially the ugly crying. Ed is useless, which made him a perfect match for Jaclyn who is horrid (fake or real horrid, I can't decide). As the season progresses I feel sorry for her because she so obviously is in love with this loser, who gives the lamest excuses for rejecting her while continuing to bang her.

If you want to know more about how Julia smells. Dish is running to a Lancome counter as we speak...

And watching the DNC. Let the gasbags begin!

Rest in Peace, Dear Michael Clarke Duncan

His passing saddens me. He seemed so excited with his fame circa The Green Mile and he was so good. Always happy to see him on screen ever since. Very upsetting that he's left this world so young.

Please make the celebrities stop dying. It's breaking my heart.

Seal and Heidi

The Seal and Heidi divorce is getting ugly. With children involved you expect the parents will behave. It's a shame that the paps are following Seal and Heidi around since they are not that interesting. So what if Heidi banging the bodyguard? Seal may be angry about this but he can have any woman he wants. He's SEAL, after all, with a magic singing voice.

I am so into these couples who get divorced in three weeks so that we can fixate on the next hookup. Yay, Katie and Tom!!!

Can We Be Quiet About Tom Cruise for Three Seconds?

Maybe not. There are new rumors about his Scientology wife recruiting so let's add more rumors to the wackadoo mill: He loves, loves marzipan and sticks it up his ass along with the dozen gerbils he borrowed from Richard Gere. Yeah, and Tom adores cooking, especially whisking up omelets for friends who drop over, which is every second because he's Tom. He's freakier than anything we could imagine. Men, women, cans of soda and CRAYONS. Tom spends his nights in a cooler, which is why he looks so fresh. They say that when he acts, he really gets into the role, like practices and works hard to memorize his lines. That's just how Tom is.

I'm so tired of rumors and speculation about Tom Cruise that I no longer care about his personal life, which is pretty hard core if you know me at all.

None of these people reveals themselves to us little people. I think the humidity is getting to me. Luckily, my afro is thoroughly gelled down with Bedhead. There is no moving these branches.

Can you tell nothing is happening? TG, Dishmama, and Dishstepfather are all snoring their faces off. It's not even 10pm. Time for Sons of Anarchy...

Labor Day Weekend

I shall not belabor the point:

Tennis player Maria Sharapova ended her engagement. She's 25, tall, rich, blond and pretty. I feel no pain.

Dish read an enlightening article on Lance Armstrong's former assistant's allegations that Lance is a tool. Dishcyclewidowfriend can second this.

Other than this, am so bored and wondering what to do with my life. Will start partying tomorrow.