Star Sighting--Academy Award Nominee Joan Allen!!!

Dishbrother writes at 3:11 pm: Right now--Joan Allen @ Five Napkin Burger, Bway & 84th, sitting outside, hair lovely strawberry blonde. Easy breezy.

Dish immediately replies: Is she still a skinny bitch?

DB: Yep. But she looks good.

I hate HER! Joan is a triple threat--so talented you forget she's an actress, pretty and skinny!!! Plus, now she's at an age where she can have sexy geezer sex. Remember UpYourButt with Anger with Kevin Costner? That one blew, but you get the idea of what's possible for Miss Sexy Joan. Oh Joan, using your lovely locks as a scarf to hide your magnificence--out in the wide open air.

In other news, Dish had a heinous panic attack, couldn't get on subway without almost hurling so walked home. Hate having anxiety, though it might have been tainted turkey. Salad bar--never again.

"Great Role Models for Other Married Couples"

Just when you thought it was safe to scour the internets for wholesome news items, this awesomeness hits you like a sharknado and you Can't Turn Away. I confess, Doug is fantastic actor and I sort of like Courtney Stodden. She's a rude interruptor with gigantic fun bags, but in twenty years, she might rule the world and we won't know how it happened. I suspect her IQ is freakishly high. For now, though, she's a guppy with 0 impulse control.

In Scientology, I scanned a list of celebrity devotees and found...Jeffrey Tambor, acting genius of Arrested Development. REALLY? I'm fascinated.

Today's divorce news: Natasha Henstridge--my very first girl crush--is splitting with her man. Could my ultimate star-fantasy come true, that she and her co-star from The Secret Circle Gale Harold did more than kiss on-screen (I didn't see it but can only assume)? Please say yes. Otherwise, I'll have to watch her with Michael Vartan in little known screen masterpiece It Had to Be You.

Spike Lee released his must watch movies--all men, mostly predictable.

The Bachelorette: Forgive me, feminists, but Brooks is a gigantic pu**y. He's just not that into you, Des.

A Celeb-aholic's Despair

You may have noticed my absence, though if I read the analytics, maybe not so much. I'll tell you the truth about my silence. I've made a discovery so perverse, so unimaginable that I've sunken into a hole of Grey's Anatomy (Next post will explain why the writing is technically awful), of scripted television where the characters are nice, fun, interesting and not total idiots.

Dish has realized: Celebrities are a-holes to be avoided at all times.

I don't know how journalists, tabloids, groupies or paps devote their time to them. They're idiots. They waste themselves, market their personas to sell products, don't care about others. Most of them can't put two words together and are so desperate to be photographed, they'll pretend to hate it, get publicly drunk or parade around in a new bikini on "vacation." Then they go onto Twitter and spout nothing special.

I've raised them to a higher standard for so long. Now I just think they're silly. Could this be the summer blues? I can't bear to read TMZ because it's the same people and who-cares kinds of stories. Sure, I'll search for blind items and when I hear that Bethenney's a total nightmare to work with, I cackle still. But my eyes can't take any more of the Kimye, the housewives, who only do the following:

1. Meet, talk about their new product lines.
2. Get into fights.
3. Meet in public place for lunch to discuss the fight.
4. Fight again.
5. Arrange awkward gettogether where more fighting can happen.

Even Duchess Kate giving birth did nothing for me. The Bachelorette is about to choose a crybaby for her true love. Ray Donovan and The Killing have become lame. Everyone is a hustler. It's not fun anymore.

Because I've devoted 45 years to celebrities, I'm waiting for a moment of redemption. Maybe Snooki will go to law school. Or Weiner and Spitzer will give up their campaigns and frolic in a tub of oil with their socks on and it will be filmed. Or maybe, a star will be caught reading Crime and Punishment. These would bring me hope.

Quick Posting

The Canadians deliver fast cause of death for Cory Monteith who died of heroin and alcohol. So incredibly awful, but love the Canadian swiftness.

Adam Levine got engaged. I give it two months. I hear he's a douche, but makes hunkilicious sexy eyes in his videos.

Emma Roberts goes bam bam on Evan Peters and is arrested of Domestic Violence. Not Pretty, Woman.

Check out the filming in Nyack!!!

Happy 45 to Me!

Because it's all about butts, this is for your consideration.

Still mourning the loss of Cory Monteith but managed to enjoy the day with work, mani/pedi with DM, a tart from Pain Quotidien and now some Anderson Cooper and Dexter with TG.

Goodbye, Sweet Finn

If I weren't girl crushing on Jane Lynch and Darren Criss, I'd carry my teenage torch for Cory Monteith's Finn and I'm crippled by the grief over his sudden death yesterday. He seemed like such a nice guy, a good guy, who humbly appreciated his good fortune. It's just such a bummer that he had substance issues, though we don't know the cause of death yet.

My favorite Cory moment is when he and Lea sing "Open Your Heart" during the Madonna episode.

So sad, too, that Jane Lynch must deal with such a shitty birthday today: newly filed for divorce, finished her run with Annie and Cory's death. No glee today.

Happy Birthday to My Father-in-Law!

TG Senior is a smokin' 87 today. After this, what else is there? I had the pleasure of speaking with him today and he called me "dear" which warms my cockles.

Aside from this, all I'm doing is working and having a Grey's Anatomy binge.

Happy Birthday, Lisa Rinna!

Our darling Lisa (aka Ass Lips, but we say this with love) is now 50. She is our lighthouse in a storm, the go-to girl when the chips are down, our favorite person to see on the red carpet because she's so damn perky all the time. Seriously, she never pouts or puts on a diva attitude. Staying power in life. If you can be in Hollywood for that long and not lose your mind, you're an inspiration! Don't hate me--I enjoy her.

So, I find myself alone in the house for the next couple of days. Secretly, I relished the idea of alone-Dish time but the minute he left, I felt this agonizing loss. Like, what would I do if he left permanently? I lived alone for a very long time. It's been three years that I've lived with TG. That short a time can erase all my years of being independent?

I cope by watching hours and hours of Grey's Anatomy, my latest discovery 8 years after the fact. So I have nine seasons of catching up to do. I'm on Season Two. McDreamy? I get it and, no doubt about it, he's playing TG in the movie version. It's possible we could do Enchanted casting but Amy Adams might be too energetic as Dish. We need someone sullen/happy/sluggish/busy-seeming (i.e. insane).

Casting change for Broadway's Jersey Boys--totally expected since Frankie Valli's part is a rough singing job for any one person. Dish will investigate thoroughly and report back. $$$ will be spent. TG will roll his eyes.

Leah Remini quit Scientology. The walls are coming down. But it was a good ride for as long as it lasted. Maybe I'll get rich inventing a religion. Oh wait, if you scroll down to 2006, you might see the seeds of Damonetics, i.e. The Religion that follows the teachings of Matt Damon. It's a thought.