Ben is the New Batman

...which begs for Matt Damon to be the new Robin and Jennifer Garner to be the new Catwoman and Robin Williams to be the new Alfred. I may be in the minority but I approve this choice of Ben. He'll bring out the bat in the man. Christian Bale does nothing for Dish. My only worry: Doesn't playing Batman kind of mean your career is going downhill?

Time for some Kleenex on this news: Richie Sambora has left Bon Jovi. If Duran Duran can survive the loss of Andy Taylor, surely, Bon Jovi can find a new rocking guitarist. We Duranies are thrilled with Dom. Fans will adapt.

We finally know what baby North West looks like. Of course, being a baby, she is adorable. I immediately thought she looked like Kim. Speaking of celebrity babies, Alec Baldwin and his wife Hilaria are the proud parents of a baby girl named Carmen.

I'm giving birth to a new addiction to Carambar candies from France.

Love Fest for Antoinette Tuff

Who cares about the alleged rocky marriage of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom (okay, I do) when there is Antoine Tuff in the world? TG and I just watched her on our beloved Anderson Cooper's AC360 and we teared up a little. Read about her bravery here. Like AC, I wish she could be on my speed-dial when I need support. She even makes me want to go to church--and I'm not religious. But I would go with her.

Wentworth Miller Comes Out and Disses Russia

When invited to an international film festival in St. Petersburg, godlike Prison Break actor Wentworth Miller declined because, as a gay man, he couldn't.He is my hero of the day. This makes me happy since maybe it's another step toward change.

"I didn't want to tell you but there were a lot of people coughing on our plane," TG said to me this morning, having caught the mother of all colds after we returned from France. But as if I am not hypervigilant on planes. I protect my six. I know who's sneezing, who's quivering in their seat and who's wailing every time there's a bump. I knew we were flying in a petri dish of illness. Now we're both sick divas.

A rumor that Charlie Hunnam might play Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. He is a GREAT choice, though I wonder if by the time the movie comes out no one will care anymore. They need to make the flick now.

David Cassidy busted for DUI. Aw, Keith.

Happy Blue Moon!

Renowned scribe Elmore Leonard has died. I get him mixed up with Hunter S. Thompson (also dead) so when I heard the news, I felt terrible for Johnny Depp who had an affinity with the latter. Then I decided to become informed and searched Wikipedia for a list of Elmore Leonard's works and realized I was mourning the wrong dude and screw Johnny anyway. Doesn't he have enough? RIP to the one responsible for 3:10 to Yuma and Out of Sight, two Dishfaves.

Today I'm disappointed in Simon Cowell for publicly acknowledging his paternity. Why can't he continue dissing everything in sight? Really, Simon? You're going to love sh*tty onesies (Dish doesn't mind them--in fact, TG and I will babysit)?

More important news--Radaronline is alleging that Kim Kardashian had leg fat moved into her butt. Dish has the perfect recipe for a fat butt: the rice and potatoes I had for dinner. Still mourning the loss of Lee Thompson Young. I can't bear to watch Rizzoli & Isles right now.

It's a Good Thing I'm Home

Can I just say that the world went to hell with Dish and TG in France? Three senseless--and young--celebrity deaths (RIP, Lee Thompson Young, Gia Allemand and Lisa Robin Kelly), Criminal Minds's Thomas Gibson catfished (with totally embarrassing hot tub video--and yes, I had to look up what catfished meant) and an online feud between between Perez Hilton and Lady Gaga, Katie Couric and Kim Kardashian. Can we all simmer down, believe in ourselves and take stock of what's good in our lives again?

It's okay now. We're home.

Vacation verdict: It was so wonderful to experience Paris with TG. We dined, walked, spoke French, and our digestive tracts will never be the same. As we took in sumptuous sights, I also realized how much I love being a New Yorker (even though I hate it too, which is so New York).

Bonjour, Mes Amis!

Dish est living it up en France. Je ne sais pas comment j'ai survived le plane mais j'ai did. Nous eatons, walkons, et cloggue les arteries. Une nice vacation avec mon chou chou.

Off to Frogland...

...on a day that threatens constant thunderstorms and more terror alerts. Dish hates to travel, but alas, these two weeks without TG have made me positively forlorn. I am co-dependent and will endure seven hours of white knuckles to be reunited once again with the land of my childhood and the man of my dreams.

Celebrity updates: The Bachelorette chose probably the best person. The whole season ended on a high notes. All the guys seemed lame until the end. I'm so glad Brooks showed his true colors and he looked a little pasty After the Rose. I hope that Dez appreciate the good in the guy, rather than the flash. Though sometimes you get flash and good.

I did not comprehend the finale for Real Housewives of Orange County. Juvaderm this and Botox that.

And now, I'm off to eat some croissants--if I get through the trip in one piece!

No More Quick Fixes, Dr. Oz

Dish is a whore for quick insomnia fixes so when Dr. Oz suggested gelatin as a helper for ZZzzzs, there was a running redhead on the street, heading for my favorite deli where I found expired boxes of Jello and then one black cherry box still ripe. I ran home and made it, then let it sit because I'm not a fan of Jello, except when my gramma made it. If she were in the vicinity, I'd chow it down. Maybe if there were some Cool-Whip. Long story long, I threw out the entire thing.

Much like gelatin, Simon Cowell's spawn adhered itself to one woman's lucky womb. Can you imagine the good fortune of growing up with a cranky father who tells him he's awful and not idol potential? (Love Simon, though!)

Kat Von D is one of my favorites, though her taste in men keeps getting worse. Maybe caught on a date with Drew Barrymore's ex--the really weird one?