My favorite couple this week:I never thought I'd ever see such powerhouses sharing the same frame. Madonna and Sharon Stone should totally do a movie together and scratch each other's eyes out. They're like twins.
In other news, I can't report on hearsay anymore. Rumors of a Keanu-Winona alliance are erroneous. We are powerless. We can't fabricate, orchestrate or destroy celebrity romances. If only...
Tom would have stayed with Mimi (and Dish could brag about knowing Mimi's ex-husband and it would mean something).
Wearing heels, Nicole would have still broken into Hollywood, with some pretty young thing on her arm instead of walking three steps behind her first husband.
Katie would have still dumped Chris Klein and made funky indie movies. We would have seen her raunchy scene in Thank You for Not Smoking--though you can still see her topless in The Gift.
Julia would have never married Lyle because we just don't get that part of her life. Or the Kiefer years.
Jane Fonda would have kicked Ted Turner's ass to the curb so much sooner and returned to making movies.
Anne and Ellen would not have annoyed us for three years. We like her so much more now with Portia Di (who was the least irritating person on Ally McBeal)
Britney would have resisted K-Fed, helping us all strive for more than mediocrity.
But through all of this, Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates would stay together.
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