What's Up, Doc?

I've resisted Big Love for numerous reasons. Bill Paxton is like Ambien. Chloe Sevigny's Bugs Bunny face and association with Vincent Gallo creep me out. But then I saw an in-depth Dr. Phil expose on polygamy and I thought, I'm so into this. I didn't waste another minute.

Poor Bill, though. He has to have sex with three attractive women (Can you say Yeast Infection five times fast?). No wonder his Erectile Dysfunction acts up. I get tired thinking about it. On the girls' side, so much work goes into pleasing one boring man, raising seven bitch-ass kids, French-braiding hair, and ironing those hideous long Little House on the Prairie skirts. Then there's the dinner table, with ten people making conversation. Just for fun, throw in a little cancer, arsenic poisoning, and extortion. Yummers!

And yet, I think I might like three boring men to satisfy me--one who doesn't speak, one who cooks and cleans, and another to bring me celeb mags and snax. One complex, interesting soul mate is only fun until the moment when he suddenly snaps--and he always does. Yes, polygamy could be excellent.

So, if you have insomnia, definitely rent this.